anxiety is out of control

[missliz317]

I haven't been to this site in awhile. I thought I was getting better. Had been on anxiety/depression medication for 13 years and decided this past summer to come off them. I noticed my anxiety more but felt like I could work in it.....then winter comes and everyone is sick!
People talk about it like it's everyday normal conversation. I want to hide away, no more work, no more visiting friends, no more eating out. I'm on high alert. I know I can't hide....so I force myself to do these things but am constantly worried. It's horrible to spend every day, several times a day, about to freak out and obsessing over this.
I'm just so worried about catching something from someone. I feel like this is taking over my life again. Is this how every winter will be for the rest of my life and then it gets so bad that it's a year round worry.

[Natiebear]

Were the meds working for you before? If so you might want to think about getting on them again. It's no fun to live with the constant worrying.

[missliz317]

I've thought about it because I do feel like it helped. It just bothered me thar I had been on medication for so long. Felt so dependent on it. I guess i just want to be able to work thru it and it's frustrating that I can't.
I feel like every time I eat and can feel food in my stomach I get nervous. I'm already worried about going to work tomorrow. I work in a chiropractic office with lots of people in and out. Having to touch clip boards and pens and charts that so many people have touched. I feel like I'm going crazy. I know I'm not alone with this fear but it's hard when family/friends don't understand the extent of it.

[Natiebear]

I have been on antidepressants since 1994. I know what your saying about not wanting to depend on them. The thing is why would you not want to take something that helps you. My mom once told me she hates taking high blood pressure meds but if she doesn't she could die. I was like mom I won't die if I don't take them. She then told me but what kind of life do you have without them. That struck home because I thought about what my life was like before them and let me tell you it was not a fun one. If you feel like crap without them then take them and don't worry about it is how I feel. There is such a stigma about antidepressants in a bad way but guess what you know how many lives they save every day. If it were not for them I would be living with my parents at 39 with nothing. The meds let me be able to put my fears and anxiety aside and go out and work and meet an amazing man who gave my two beautiful kids. Sorry if I'm babbling lol I guess I just realized I need them and I'm probably going to have to take them for the rest of my life. If it works then why not right.

[TheLastANZAC]

Mhm! The reason I don't want medication. Can I ask, what side effects do you have? (sorry if that's personal)
Anxiety is ruining my life, and I feel like you. I'm getting nowhere without a little help.

I would go back on them if they were working. Don't feel like you depend on them. Take them because you WANT to, not HAVE to.

[Natiebear]

Mhm! The reason I don't want medication. Can I ask, what side effects do you have? (sorry if that's personal)
Anxiety is ruining my life, and I feel like you. I'm getting nowhere without a little help.

I would go back on them if they were working. Don't feel like you depend on them. Take them because you WANT to, not HAVE to.

Taking them cause you want to not have to? That makes no sense to me. Do I want to take antidepressants heck no I don't but I have to cause if I don't I won't be able to take care of my family. I would be in bed sick and anxious hiding every day. Why would I want to live that way when I don't have to?

[missliz317]

Sorry for the delay. Thanks for the feedback Natiebear! Everything you said makes sense. I definitely felt that my anxiety wasn't as bad when I was on medication. One of the main reasons I decided to stop was affordability. Without insurance my medication was so expensive. So I thought to myself - why don't you try and face it head on and see how it goes. I still worried all the time when I was on meds but the anxiety didn't completely take over like it does now.
ThelastANZAC - I guess I noticed that my body was very dependent on them and I felt weird without it and that scared me. I felt like I HAD to be on them and I don't want to anymore. Im.sorry anxiety is ruining your life I'm right there with ya. This phobia really takes a hold of me especially during winter. I started the process of coming off meds last may and ended in July. I felt proud and it was tough but had broke a lot of my emet habits. Maybe I just felt good at the time because it was summer and not many sick people. Sorry I'm going on and on haha.

[missliz317]

Hmmm....I just replied to this and my response isn't here Is that normal?

[Mamafear]

*Take them because you WANT to, not HAVE to.*
(Misread. ;-)