GRAPHIC - Just saw a girl . . .

[sillygirl]

I was coming home from the grocery store and saw this girl get out of a car in the right turn lane. She kinda slowly wandered across the grass holding her stomach then bent over. Her back was facing me so all I saw was **GRAPHIC**a stream running down to the ground. It was so awful! It really shook me up. I feel all weird now. I haven't seen it in ages.

[mommyof3]

OH I hate to see cars pull over. I always assume that is why they pulled over.


You seem to be handling it ok, though. Just distract yourself now from dwelling on the thought.

[sillygirl]

It's hard. I wasn't able to eat much dinner. I know I wasn't close enough to catch anything, but those thoughts still come in, you know? Like what is some particles came through the air conditioning? The wasn't like on the side of the highway either. It was at a major intersection by my house. She probably knew she had to v*, and the light changed so she got out of the car to v* and the driver pulled around into the parking lot beside her to wait. I couldn't tell how old she was. She looked pretty young - I would gues middle school or high school. I was pretty far away though and after she started to v*, I tried not to look.


What is kind of amazing to me, though, is even though I knew that was what she was going to do, I didn't turn away. I had to keep looking. Once she started, I was able to turn away. Does anyone else do that?

[shiva]

I do that! I look, too. I search for IT on the sidewalk, I look for people who look ill. Actually, my psychologist and I touched on this at my last session. She thinks that I look for it to keep my mind occupied with stuff I can control (emet, in a way) because I cannot handle to think of the other stuff I think about when my mind is able to wander. (regrets about my divorce, guilt about how I've treated people I love, anger toward my family) It made a lot of sense to me when she was explaining it.

[meercat]

Sillygirl, YESSSS i do the same friggin thing too! And i feel the same way you do, long after the event of seeing it happen. It replays in my mind over and over!! It's almost like we emets are a glutton for punishment, cuz for some weird reason, we can't turn away when we KNOW what's coming. It is the strangest thing!!! I can remember back when i was maybe 12ish (i'm now 37) when my mom and i were at an amusement park, mom knew my fear, so when we were walking around she could see that we were about to pass a puddle of "it" on the ground, and bless her heart, she tried forwarning me, saying "Honey, don't look down." I knoew what she was referring to, but like a complete IDIOTIC MORON, i just HAD to look anyway, which ruined the rest of my day!!!!! WHYYYYYYYY do we do this to ourselves?????? And yes, when i see cars pulled off the side of the road, right away i feel like it's because someone is going to be sick....and what do i do???? LOOK to SEEEEEEE! UGH!!! So you are surely not the only one who does this.

[the_becky]

I COMPLETELY know how you feel.... even though sheer fear runs through me when I witness someone v*ing, I have this strange fascination with it... it sounds sick, but I have no idea why it happens! I hope that you can shake off this bad memory and live life, always.

[gumdropper1]

Sillygirl, I think that is pretty common. Many emets have so little experience of vomiting themselves that they are drawn to watch someone else do it even though they'd rather not. Think of it this way: Perhaps what you learn about vomiting by watching someone else do it can help you prevent yourself from vomiting sometime.


Your risk of catching something from somebody vomiting outdoors would be low even if she were contagious and is extremely low since you were at a distance inside a car.

[sillygirl]

Well, the memory doesn't really bother me anymore - excwept when I drive by the spot it happened at. The spot will probably always haunt me now. And I always find myself turning my head to the exact spot - liek I'm really going to see anything this long after it happened?

[happyteacher]

Silly girl,


Because we all ultimately fear not being in control, the only way we feel we can control a situation like the one you witnessed is to check and monitor what is occuring around us. That is why we always look on the sidewalk, at the people around us etc. The first thing I learned in therapy was that we have to STOP THE CHECKING AND MONITORING of every situation. I have come to understand that no matter how much I watch what is going on around me, I can't control what is going to happen and that's okay. By watching, we cause ourselves even more anxiety, usually for nothing, and in turn forever rehearse what we saw or thought we saw, creating new placesor situations to avoid.


I know it is a vicious circle, but we have to fight!


happyteacher

[bexcelica]

OH I hate to see cars pull over. I always assume that is why they pulled over.


You seem to be handling it ok, though. Just distract yourself now from dwelling on the thought.

you know thats not an emet thing. my mom always assumes when people are
pulled over its because theyre v*. and shes not anything closze to an
emet