My life feels as if its coming to an end.

[twells00]

i suffer terribly from emetophobia and ive seen the doctor and he was going to refer me but he doesnt want me to see any 'thearapists'.





im 17 and i cant face work, ive now lost my job, i cant face school, i cant face people. i live in my room and just tell people im studying hard, everything i touch, everything i see makes me think im going to be ill. i cry at night, and im male! its totally embarrassing. my whole life seems to be about nothing but the fear of v*. im at the end of my teather, i honestly cannot cope with whatever it is that is causing me to feel this way. what can i do as a last resort, its hopeless!!

[kjen]

hiya,


i've been goin thru some pretty dark times lately too so i can totally sympathise..... everything i do revolves around v*, like u say, everything i do/touch makes me think i'm going to be ill.... sometimes i convince myself i'm some sort of phsychic and i'm definitely goin to be sick sometime this year (mad huh?!!) i never used to be like this and the only thing i can suggest to u is perhaps you're depressed/anxious about something else in your life but it comes out in your emet..... earlier this year i broke up with my boyf, got really bad flu, was really stressed at work and i just went completely downhill... i have only just returned to work after having 4 months off trying to deal with depression/anxiety/emet......


things will get better though i'm sure. they slowly are for me although i do have some really bad days.... but then some really good days considering! you just need to focus on getting better and not letting this evil emet beat u.... i'm sure you'll get the help you need from your doc......... stay strong!!!!!!!!

[shiva]

twells,


I know this is hard for you and you are obviously going through rough times right now. Just try really hard to keep putting one foot in front of the other. You will make it. I am one of those emets who believe that we have this phobia in order to teach us something or challenge us in some way, sometimes it helps me to think that all of this hell I am going through is somehow actually helping me grow in some aspect.


Can you talk to your parents? They should know how bad this is for you, then they might help you get help more quickly. You really should be in therapy with a good psychologist who can help you sort your feelings out. Good luck.

[mjewell]

twells - did your doctor give you any sort of medicine to take to help relax you? I am all for meds but that's because I have severe anxiety and panic as a result of this phobia - not everyone needs meds like I do, but if it is affecting your life to that degree, I think you would be a good candidate for some tranqulizers or an anti-depressant. I take Xanax and it is a LIFESAVER! I also just started lexapro which is an anti-depressant and my persistent anxiety is fading.


Also, why did your doc not want you to go to therapy?

[twells00]

he just said i would get over it with age, it was because i was going through a 'tough time'. he didnt seem bothered or care a great deal. he was the first person ive ever told and now thanks to his reaction the last!! I want help so bad, but there's nothing out there, nothing at all... no help!! i honestly want life to end, no more pain no more suffering i get really angry with myself for having such pathetic fears. its not just fear of v* i fear, i fear death, i have panic attacks around insects, im awalking mess and a waste of human space at the moment. if it wasnt 4 my 5year old nephew id end it all now! [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

[gubba]

Just always remeber there are better days than others and this may very well be the worst for you. it sounds like it and it will get better, i promise. Just think about how long you have felt like this and you haven't been V*ing, so it isn't going to happen. I convince myself daily that people in general just don't V* all that much and I need to not think about it. Trust me, I do the same thing we all do. I took my son to a music class today that we always go to and I get out of the car and worry about V* in the parking lot from someone in the class before us, so now we go to the first class of the day. I then think about all the toys that the kids touch and I have a 3 year old that knows not to put his hands in his mouth, nose or eyes. This is a crazy feeling time for you, but it will get better and you must remind yourself constantly that it will get better the same way we have all convinced ourselves how awful V* is.


Good luck, smile and know that you are not alone.


We are all here to listen and hopefully help.

[suzy.o]

I get like that often too at the moment but youre not alone, Iv had it for 26yrs and it only becomes intense when things arnt going right for me, at the moment Im sitting here typing to you but thinking of this retchy feeling I have in my stomach and I darnt burp in case I retch, 3 months ago I was an assistant manager at a pub, like iv said I had it 26 yrs so it will hopfully tell you that your intense anxiety wont last, most emets on this website have jobs etc so you wil get over this bad patch as it wont last forever, you may still have your phobia when the intense phase passes but you will get used to it enough to lead a normal life, with or without medication. I got mine at 14 and I felt abnormal up to everyone else, and when I go through a bad patch I cant concentrate on anything but IT! It does get better though so keep your chin up you are not alone, I also cry a lot when it gets me and its natural to feel in turmoil when it hits you, and the isolation can be awful so dont worry i know what your going through, you will feel better honest.

[twells00]

u sed uve had it 4 26yrs, what if i have it that long? ive had it for about 4yrs and thats more than enough, i couldnt cope having it that long, my new years resoultion was to have it gone and cured, im failing and its only now im starting to look 4 help, but i have no money, well some not alot, i cant afford all this thearpy stuff, i have no where 2 turn, i cant tell no-one only you people and thats because i cant see you. It gets so bad sometimes like today, and then tomorrow everythiing will be fine again. All i wish is that it was gone, its affecting my education and my life... please people, does anyone know a solution... i would give anything to be able to smile.

[crazy_me_84]

Hey twells,


I can understand the despair you are feeling. I myself, am going through the same, except I am seeing a therapist. I suggest you go and see another GP at your clinic. Your first doctor doesn't understand the nature of the phobia and how debilitating it is. Its unfortunate that the first doctor you decided to confide in was so unsupportive. You can get treatment on the NHS- counselling, psychological therapy... there is a way out. Its not easy but please don't keep this to yourself, speak to another doctor and keep trying until you find somebody who listens.


Feel free to add me to MSN if you want to chat


xxx

[mjewell]

I agree with crazy me - your doctor is very ignorant about this. i went through the same thing with my doctor - after he told me I need to "get over" my panic attacks I gave him the boot. Please don't let one bad seed deter you from seeking help. There are so many wonderful docs out there. If you can I would strongly suggest you go see a psychiatrist who specializes in phobias and anxiety disorder.

[mommyof3]

Twells, as hard as it is, you need to keep telling people until SOMEONE helps you. I don't know how the health care system in Great Britain works, but can you find another doctor? You are having thoughts of suicide and he hasn't referred you to a psychotherapist? HE is CRAZY!


This makes me so sad . Like i said, I don't know how the system works there, but could you maybe call a therapist, find one somewhere, and get him or her to talk to your doctor for a referral??? Look one up in the phone book, explain your situation, and see if they can intervene for you.


Good luck. Keep posting. It really helps--I've only been coming here these past couple of months and I can't tell you what a help it has been to come here and feel so accepted and comfortable.

[bexcelica]

hey, i dont really know what to tell you to do because i have emt too and i havent figured it out. i think being on here and talking to everyone and knowing your not alone could be a good help... my aim name is bexcelica. im there to talk

[chicajojobe]

Okay.......here's my advice for what you can do.





Step 1: Stop telling yourself you have no where to turn. You're here
right? Well I don't even know you and just reading what you're writing
is making me care about you and hope you feel better soon. You can turn
to us and it's a start. There's always help out there.



Step 2: Don't put a time frame on when you need to have it cured by. I
tired tell myself that I would have mine gone by the time I left for
college and it only made it worse. Well I started college over a month
ago and it's by no means gone. I did improve a little bit though. Every
step counts.



Step 3: Stop telling yourself you shouln't have this phobia. I used to
do that too and believe me just because I'm not male that didn't make
me feel like it was any more aceptable for me to have it then you feel
it is for you. Getting angry or upset at yourself for having it doesn't
make anything better though. You can't help it, and it doesn't make you
worthless or anything it's just...a cross to bear.



Step 4: There's a treatments page at this board that gives more
information about available treatments, and it has information you can
give to your parents or doctors so that they have something official to
read and see that this is an actual phobia that many people have.





I know that for me just finding out that I wasn't the only person in the world who was like this helped emensely.



Best of luck to you and I hope you do feel happier soon.

[suzy.o]

I agree with chicajojobe, you have to accept that its a part of you andno time limit, if you did that it would stop angering and frustrating you so much, dont worry I did that myself when I first got it.Yes I have it 26 yrs but I get bouts of it I dont have it constantly,I am emeto free for years then if I have too much stress in my life due to relationships etc it comes back. I promise you that you wont feel the way you do now all the time, at one point in my 26yrs of emet I actually made myself sick due to an sv so as you can see I m not affected 24 hours a day. You get to know it and find ways of dealing with it instead of being angry that you cant get rid of it and this is why your feeling so depressed, you will find ways though we all have and we can then get on with our lives, so that rhe phobia will just be a little niggle, ok you may NOT want to go on the roller coaster at the amusement park because your worried about beig sick but at least you will be there to enjoy the other fun things, so its not that bad.Dont worry hun Its awful now but it will reduce and that IS someone saying it with 26yrs experience.Keep yer chin up.Edited by: suzy.o

[bexcelica]

hey, how you doing???

[wing]

._.;I'm a little late..sorry but yea..you need to tell another doctor or something. Dont give up there. Its hard I know. I'm 16 and I've had this since I was 4 and it is very bad at times. My mom told my doctor and my doctor said "Oh don't worry I think its just a phase. I think she just wanted to lose some weight. She's fine" Then she smiled at me. O.o I'm like "..." My point..is that you can do this even if you believe you cant (I endure school day by day). By telling another you might get some meds to help you, not cure but help until you can get things together. Good luck. =]

[case]

hang in there buddy. life always gets better for everyone despite any shortcoming. we can onlygrow as individuals much like budding flowers ready to bloom. at one time i was in the same predicament, and when i look at the life i leadnow i realize how much strength i've gained through the past experiences i had to endure and how much love i have accumulated throughout years of misery. if anything it has humbled me significantly, and i would never ask for thatblessing to betaken away. emetophobia is a horrible thing to live with, but in time you learn how to deal with itbetterand find things out about yourself you never knew existed. as the people before me suggested, i encourage you to find a psychiatrist who specializes in anxiety/panic disorders. medication is not a cureall, but it can definitely make things a lot easier for you. i also support the use of herbal remedies to heal the body and soul. sometimes the earth can provide more for us than a synthetic drug.

[sage]

Twells, sorry I haven't seen your post til now. Buddy, trust me. You have an emotional illness that has TREATMENT. You CAN reach your goal of feeling better in a year. I did - read my story on the Experiences thread (sticky). It's your DOCTOR, dude, who has the problem. He is COMPLETELY IGNORANT. I absolutely know for a fact that you will not just "outgrow" this. Read my paper on the Treatments thread - sticky called INFO TO GIVE YOUR DR. OR FAMILY. And also read the other one HOW TO GET PROFESSIONAL HELP. You're quite young, but hopefully you can give these papers to one or both of your parents to read. YOu don't have to say anything, just print them out and hand them over.


Keep posting. If you post on the treatments thread, I look there every couple of days. Mark your post SAGE if you have any questions. Even when I'm not around, some good people on this site will be here to help.


Hang in. It only took me a year to be substantially cured of this, and thousands of others are being treated all the time and lead normal lives. Your doctor is an idiot. But you're not. It's an illness with a good treatment available. You'll be ok.

[crystalmom]

Wish I had some great advice for you, but everyone has already everything that needs to be said. You can always come here, and you can find support here.


All the best, and let us know how you are.


Crystal

[ontariogirl]

For some one to tell you it will go away with age is an idiot. I will be 40 in 21 days and I have had this phobia since the age of 9.

[twells00]

hi, im back!


THANK-YOU ALL FOR YOUR REPLY'S.


as you might be able to tell, im having a good day today, see it comes and go's. right now i feel fine, i still act weird and do odd things, e.g not touching handles.


Yesterday i was having an off day, ive been working at tesco's for a week and yesterday my boss told me ive either got to cheer up and smile or ive lost the job! Which will be the 3rd job ive lost. So yesterday i kept thinking about it and slowly fell back into a stupid little depression in which my fear of V* got worse. But todays a different day and although my boss doesnt like me, im trying not to let it get me. It makes me cringe reading what i wrote because my first post is miles away from how i feel today, im just waiting for the day it all goes pete tong!!

Thanks u guys/girls 4 being here!