Struggling to cope

[VivaLaPohm]

Yesterday my BF had a mild case of food poisoning, we had to take the car to be serviced and i wanted to bus home but he insisted he was well enough to drive me back from the mechanics in another car.
Needless to say he wasn't

He was ill as we were pulling up at home, and i jumped out of the still moving car and ran away. I had to call a friend to get me cos i was having a panic attack and couldn't handle going home at that point.

Now I cant cope, its over 36 hours on and while he's fine (and has gone away, giving me space). I cant sleep in our bed even though he wasn't ill there. i can hardly sleep at all, last night i dozed while watching movies cos i cant cope without something to distract me.
Usually i have no problem with food but now i cant even face eating at all, i have barely eaten anything both today and yesterday. I had to force myself to eat dinner because i knew i had to eat but it was a struggle.

I've always been really good at avoiding the situation and I've never been this bad before. I just don't really know what to do to manage this or how to cope with it.

[mhartse]

I understand how you feel, I can't deny I wouldn't act any different if that happened to me. Its hard but just know, its been over 36 hours, You haveNOT got it, nor will from him. And Rationally, He wasn't sick in your home or bed. Ask him to clean the car or things you both use and you should be just fine! No worries.

[mdgirl1977]

i'm so sorry you had to go through that. It sounds very frightening. I'm sure you're not to get what he had, but I know it's really traumatizing to see somebody be sick. hugs.

[VivaLaPohm]

Thanks guys.
I think, it's not so much the fear i'm going to catch something, i know i won't, and that it was his own fault for eating something he shouldn't have.
But whenever i close my eyes and try to sleep i see it, I even got woken up in the middle of the night because it has made it into my dreams.
I don't know why i cant eat either, its totally illogical. I usually love food but now its just a fight to eat anything because i just don't want it.
I am just glad it was his work car because it means even though he has cleaned it i wont have to go in it for a while.

[mdgirl1977]

I saw my son v when he had strep and it haunted me for days. couldn't shut my eyes without seeing it. he had strep so I knew I wouldn't get it but he was inches from me do I saw and heard it. it goes away. I promise.

[mhartse]

I can relate to that also my in laws were sick (and I'm close with them/work and see them a lot) and it terrified me for months. It also made it into my dreams, well nightmares. It does eventually go away just take small steps and do what you feel you can.

[Mamafear]

I lose my appetite when I hear/see or know someone v and I literally don't eat at all or have an appetite for 4 or 5 days. I drink water to get by and pop a vitamin each day but for me it's a great way to lose a bit of weight:-)

[VivaLaPohm]

Yea, i still don't have my appetite back even though i've managed to start sleeping again.
I'm managing about 1 meal a day + some snacks, but i have to keep eating because i have a fainting problem and cant let my blood sugar run too low.
Now its time for me to deal with the assignment ive been too keyed up to do all weekend. Handing it in under 24h late so the penalty isn't huge but its still a pain. I was going to try and see a councilor yesterday and get a med note but I got some really bad news and ended up staying in all day instead (and still not writing it).