wow. sounds like i just read my own bio. lmao. if I'm not panicking, I'm mad at myself for being afraid of this. i am so strong about everything. I'm in school to become an rn. when my best friend took meds after a surgery she got sick and v* in my car and i helped her. that was the first time ever, but id literally give my eye for this girl and i just helped automatically. the fear hit me after and i was n* for hours. then a few months ago, my ex had surgery. i took him and nursed him. a month later there was complication and he starred to bleed profusely from his nose and was choking on blood. i drove him to the er and ran him in where he was gagging on blood for almost 2 hours. he had ended up swallowing so much that he v* blood ansi helped him also. i stayed with him two days after that to make sure he was ok. i thought i was getting better and being brave but as soon as i know someone is contagious i become an animal. i run and hide w my tail tucked. i carry an entire pocketbook full of remedies. idk how i am going to make it doing my clinicals next semester. i have let this fear run my life for so many years it almost feels normal. then i have days where i hate myself for being afraid of this when I'm not even afraid of death. everywhere i go i see v*. I'm constantly in fear of being sick or others being sick. i have ulcers and ibsand every time either attacks i panic, which causes n* which causes panic.. and so on.. anyway to wrap this up.. lol.. u are NOT alone. this site really helps and i had joined few years back and lost my password so i just rejoined. reading about others who are the same as me really helps and the reassurance is amazing. you're never alone! we can kick this thing in the butt! xoxo