I mean i think im even doing better with the whole emet recovery. but there is this weird thing i get i dunno if anyone else is same??

I just feel 'differently' towards people when i've heard that they have/are v* probably because it's something I just don't really 'do'

I read online that some celeb is v* and i feel differently about them. I heard about it quite a lot from miley cyrus who posted a tweet which irritated me, saying she had an sv*. on vids of her at some awards thing i think it was, apparently she went off and v* (found this whole trying to expose myself to v* vids) and I dunno why, but it just makes me feel 'different' to the celeb after prpobably because they're normal??

iS this just my weirdness or is there others like this? might be an emet thing?

even if i could be ok and handle v*ing myself why can i not get myself to be able to feel it's a normal thing or whatever craziness is causing these thoughts!? I know i would probably have to get ill myself to know that it's normal. i wouldn't and cant will that to happen anyway, i dont want to get ill so how can i get better? idk how am i just supposed to 'know' that i am better and if i was faced with v* i would be ok? the only times ive faced v* ive not been ok with it so i just don't know, even considering that I've got better a bit.