Maybe OT but I'm so mad right now!!

[Abigailchamp]

I live with my OH, daughter, FIL and MIL at the minute until I've finished my studies. Anyway, my MIL is constantly treating me like a kid and calling me lazy saying I have no future etc etc because this phobia. It is really getting to me and I am so close to snapping right now and unleashing my emet fuelled anger at her!!!!!

How ow would any of you guys deal with this?

Yes i I have a phobia and may come across lazy during a panic attack but to treat me like a child constantly and saying that I have no future is a step too far! Not to mention saying I won't make it through uni with this phobia (as I'm doing midwifery).

Arghhhhhhhhhhh! I really am beginning to despise her! She thinks emet is made up and I can just get on with it.

Any advice?

[butterfly91]

Firstly that is such a good think you are at uni and studying to be a midwife, you should be proud of yourself. I would love to be a nurse but my phobia will hold me back.
I don't know what MIL means lol but that is out of order what she's saying to you, she shouldn't put you down and treat you like a kid and saying that you have no future is nasty. She obviously dosen't understand your anxiety and phobia but she still should make an effort to support u during your uni and through emet. I would try and talk to her and tell her how upset she is making you feel, she shouldn't be saying them negative things towards you as it probably won't help your anxiety either.

[mdgirl1977]

MIL means mother in law.

im sorry that stinks. my family doesn't get it either so I just don't talk to them about it. I have no real advice except smile and ignore her. if she doesn't get a response she will probably stop.

[Abigailchamp]

MIL means mother in law.

im sorry that stinks. my family doesn't get it either so I just don't talk to them about it. I have no real advice except smile and ignore her. if she doesn't get a response she will probably stop.

I have aves ignored her but it's constant. If I'm having a bad emet day I'm lazy. I'm a child. I should snap out of it... I've tried to explain this to her I've given her info on emet printed off but she will not have any of it. Really am at my wits end now. I feel like throwing a childish tantrum, then at least treating me like a child is justified!!!

[mdgirl1977]

don't explain anymore. you are a grown up. end if story. try ignoring. it works. she will rant and rant. smile.

[AoD]

My mom spent pretty much the whole time since sixth grade up until halfway through my engineering degree telling me I was a failure and I wouldn't ever amount to anything and that I would end up a drugged-up prostitute in an alley somewhere. Not because of my emet, but because I was bullied at school in sixth grade and they forced me to see a therapist and I wouldn't cooperate with her because she was an idiot (anyone can become a "therapist" here, it's unregulated.. she wasn't a psychologist or a psychiatrist) and said therapist told my mom I would never finish high school. My dad pretty much said she was an idiot but my mom believed it like it was the gospel, because she didn't like me. Also, it was completely uncalled for because I always did brilliantly at school and I was a quiet and shy kid who was well-educated. You know what's the best solution? Ignore it. No matter what you reply or not, the nagging won't go away, and snapping at her won't change a thing. Just ignore what she says, zone out when she speaks to you, and eventually you'll be free from her. And once you finish your course, send her a lovely picture of you smiling with your diploma.

[Mamafear]

So sorry you're living like this. I agree with previous posters, look happy and unaffected. My MIL can be a real b**** and I never know which persona she'll assume visit to visit. I tried fighting it once but it REALLY didn't work. My Mum advised just carrying on with a smile on my face with the occasional comment about how lucky I feel to be at the beginning of my awesome life (even though I didn't believe it). Every once in a while, when she says 'you'll never finish uni', you say, with a genuine looking smile on your face ''ah, but that's where you're wrong, because there's nothing stopping me!". Also, hug and show the bond you have with your man in front of her as that will, in a perfectly normal way, make her realize that she is alienating him by doing what she is doing. My MIL literally tenses up and gets a bit nervous when she sees her precious boy and I showing the bond we have with each other and is suddenly 'nice' again, I imagine from feeling afraid he'll see her as the pariah. We're here for you. xx

[Abigailchamp]

Thank you guys so much,... I haven't spoken to her in 3 days now. So awkward when under the same roof. I feel the way she is makes my emet so much worse. So that is hard.

I get even more frustrated when she talks about my OHs friend who killed himself due to a mental illness and she says how sad it is and goes to the charity nights which is raising money for MIND (a mental health charity) I feel like she shouldn't be there as she doesn't believe in mental illness. Gets me so pissed off and I feel like creating a seen but obviously that's wrong.

Just wish people could see that mental illness is as debilitating as a physical illness... :-(