Set Back

[sarah661987]

Hi,

This is the first time I've used a forum like this. I have generalised anxiety problems which I am on the waiting list for CBT for (have had problems for about 15 years with bouts of anxiety) but I seem to have a big problem with emetophobia as part of that.

My emet stems from a young age, my father when I was young often got stupidly drunk and was sick (and violent) my mum used to panic and bundle me downstairs and put the tv on loud to cover the noise, and ever since whenever anyone feels ill, or looks ill... or I'm in a situation I may end up witnessing someone doing so (hospitals/ doctors are a particular problem) I panic. I had made quite a lot of progress in the last through years through exposure etc, all done on my own without help, I'm now working in a school so the kids have naturally given me quite a bit of exposure, and although I still do panic with children, its no where near as bad as it used to be.

My response with adults however is a totally different matter, a colleague of mine was ill at work recently and I walked in (unknowingly on it) and panicked and ran, I had to get another colleague to go check they were ok and felt utterly embarrassed. Unfortunately I was the only one available to drive her home, she managed the journey with no events but I honestly wanted to cry/ scream the whole journey.


My Partner tonight has come in and said he feels unwell. This has set me off again, although I havent gone into full blown heart pounding/ palms sweating mode, I have felt completely on edge all night, and I've been unable to summon up the courage to go up to our bed (hes in it) to go to sleep, so I'm on the sofa. Every noise unsettles me, and although I've been able to go up and check on him I still cant stay in the room for long despite the fact he hasnt actually been sick.


Does anyone else have a similar pattern of symptoms? I'm hoping the GAD treatment will help... but I'm not entirely hopeful as this has been going on since I was little and I've only made mild improvement. I hate the fact I cant look after even my closest family when ill. It scares me as I want children and although I can cope from a distance with kids I cant close up and this makes me feel like I shouldnt even be considering having them.


Thanks

[Mamafear]

Hey there, and welcome to the forum. You're amongst people who feel just the same. A lot of us have had children and while it's very scary, I look back an my life before we had ours (four of them), and it feels like it was empty before having them. Does your boyfriend know how scared you are?

[anna81]

Well done to you! I don't think I could ever work in a school or anywhere else 'high risk'!
Since having my daughters I have learned that I can cope (if I really have to) if they are sick but I hate the thought of having to deal with anyone else's kids or adults being sick.
I can totally relate to the anxiety symptoms, I always freak out if my husband is ill. I hate it if anyone says 'I feel sick' luckily my daughters just v and then I have to deal with it, rather than the will it happen feeling but if they do v I worry myself silly that it will happen again or the other one will v!
I think it's different when it's your own child, it's still scary but you just have to deal with it!

[NicManri]

I'm the same when my bf is sick, I always sleep on the couch and I honestly don't think it's a big deal. As long as your able to check on him and get him what he needs I don't think sleeping in a different room when he's sick is a problem.