Cancer and other stuff

[kats]

Hi everyone!


I know this may sound weird to some of you, but I am petrified of getting cancer not because of the cancer itself but because the chemo makes you throw up! I would rather have any infection or anything than be vomit!! Does anyone feel this strongly? Also, I have a great boyfriend and we have been together for about 3 months now. The thing is, previous relationships never worked because I was so scared of kissing because I thought that the guy would have a disease that would make me sick. This is controlling my life and I know it sounds ridiculous but I get in such an anxiety state when I get near to trying. My bf is very patient but heck, he is 24 and he is not going to stand for this forever! I mean, this is just kissing we are talking about....I can't even imagine the possibility of going further. What kind of a life is that???!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

[brandon_r_edson]

I agree with you, I've always been aware of what would happen if I had cancer and I alwayst tell myself that I would NOT go through Chemo therapy unless I was really dedicated to living again.


Where kissing is concerned, I also know how you feel, but I still kiss. I just make sure that the person in which I am kissing is as healthy as possible. Just try it once with your boyfriend, he'll understand if you feel nervous. But just try it at least once and then if it goes well then do it more and more and you'll get used to it.

[Melikasa]

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I use to be like that. My husband will still be careful though for my sake and say if he feels ill (even a cold) that way I won't be kissing him. He is 24 as well. It took time he use to say well you know it is in your head can't you just make it go away? If you are both feeling fine put yourself in a place that you are comfortable, cuddle up and see you feel about it. Kiss him on the cheek and/or nose and then lips. Well that is what worked for me and we kind of just kept doing it. We have been married for over 2 years now and my husband the other day even said you don't like kissing much do you? Hehehe it will come.


As for the chemo I have worried about that part of it but I have not really spent a lot of time dwelling on it. There are times when I feel pains in my ovaries and bowls and I think "oh man this could be cancer" but I talk myself out of it and remind myself that i have IBS. </TD></TR>
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[missgoddess]

my mom had chemo but wasnt sick once...infact she was sick b4 she knew it was cancer she had...dont worry i suppose ppl react in different ways

[kats]

Thanks everyone! I am so grateful for all the advice! It is so comforting to know that I am understood. Because although my friends and family are great, they just don't understand and tell me to get over it.


Ta ta for now!


Kats

[sage]

I was terrified to get cancer, and then when I did get cancer I swear I was more afraid of being sick than dying. I did have chemo (cuz I had no choice - when it comes right down to it you don't want to DIE of cancer either, because I've seen those people literally throw up to death (including my dad). Anyway, I had the chemo and didn't get sick once from it. I did vomit one day, after my last treatment, not from nausea but from a drug I took because of pneumonia I developed. It was really NOTHING, and I haven't feared vomiting since (I actually had a lot of treatment from 13-8 years before that and hadn't noticed symptoms of fear again til I got the cancer.) It verified that I really was "cured" of the fear of vomiting myself.


Since then, as you'll see from my signature, I've had a bunch more treatment for the fear of seeing others do it (which is linked into fearing it will make me sick anyway), and I have gotten over that too. Part of the treatment was to work in a hospital (volunteer) which I still do 2 days a week. MY WHOLE POINT is that chemo patients don't vomit any more than anyone else with any other drug or other disease - not anymore. The anti-nausea drugs are so good, that it's just not an issue. Especially the ones that either fear or don't like to vomit - they just never do. Some others who don't care might occasionally, but then that just puts them in the same category as people who drink or eat food a little off or get a mild virus or feel nervous - if you don't want to throw up from any of these things, you have incredible control. Same goes for chemo.


So if you're going to fear cancer, put it in the "fear of death" category where it belongs, and try to remove it from the "fear of vomiting" category!





As for the fear of intimate contact/kissing...you're right about not wanting it to control or ruin your life. Figure out how you can work to get over the phobia, so that doesn't happen. This website will help you a lot.


Welcome, by the way!

[Babydoll]

just a note.





Im almost positive kissing will make you feel good! it send endorphins to your brain that make you feel so wonderful you dont care if your house is falling down these edorphins actually make your immune system stronger because your happy!


just give it a try. you won't regret it.