Unwelcomed....

[wetjeans]

Hello, all, it seems as if everyone here, including Hippychic (shes PMed me over this), has a problem with the fact I like wet clothes. Well, I do, and am sorry for living. It is a part of me, and I dont think there is anything "Sexual" about it, no more that the phobia here is a sexual turn-on for others (yuck), So, since I cannot tell someone, jokingly "go take a shower in your clothes" I guess it would be better to say "Go puke a while, and call me in the morning" Hippy, is that satasfactory enough for you??? I know where and when Im not welcomed, so with that, Im outta here.








Mike

[x hannah x]

Oh come on Mike, you don't have to leave! Please don't!

[hippychick]

Mike


The reason you were PM'd was so that it did not become an ugly public thing as we do not like argunments here. But since you want it public then fine.


What i had a problem with was that people had made it clear they took what you were saying (however innocently you said it) as a sexual thing and asked you to stop and you continued. It makes me uncomfortable, and i don't see an issue with outlining that. I don't think there is a huge problem with asking you not to contiually talk about wet clothes with younger members of the board.


Everyone is welcome here, especially when they want to discuss how emetophobia affects them or someone they know. But please don't make members of the forum uncomfortable.


I am more than happy for you to stay here, i would just ask you once again to stop with the wet clothes insinuations. I have to protect those here and that is what i will do.


For now i will leave this thread open, in the interest of fairness.

[izzybee]

I certainly dont think we have made you unwelcome and i'm sorry you feel this way, however people may take your 'wetjeans' username and the talk of it offensive and we cant really have that here. I'm so sorry you are leaving but please come back ina few weeks, maybe with less talk of wet clothing. I'm sure we would all give you anoher chancee!

[symphonicfaith]

Let it go, Mike. So people here don't like hearing you talk about wet clothes... is it really that hard to stop? If you could show a little self-control, we wouldn't be having this discussion... sheesh


<Zach>

[*kristen*]

Mike ~

We're all here for one specific Reason., Hang in there. We all don't have to like one another, however, we all have the same phobia and being able to discuss this with each other is a beautiful thing ! I thank each and everyone of you for your help and advise. You're all Wonderful. Let's keep it going ! LEt's all try to g et along and keep each others feelings in tact ! Don't leave us just yet ![img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

Kristen

[x hannah x]

Mike ~

We're all here for one specific Reason., Hang in there. We all don't have to like one another, however, we all have the same phobia and being able to discuss this with each other is a beautiful thing ! I thank each and everyone of you for your help and advise. You're all Wonderful. Let's keep it going ! LEt's all try to g et along and keep each others feelings in tact ! Don't leave us just yet ![img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

Kristen

Ditto

[missgoddess]

i think theres different places for different things...this place is to discuss our phobia and just chat about general things, not our sexual fantasies (yes we all have them but this isnt the place!) theres plenty of chat rooms and boards for that kinda thing where discussing emet wudnt really be appropiate...i dont get y ur bein so defence, its not as if anyones calling u a freak or saying u shudnt have this fantasy...just that this isnt the place to be discussing it

[SimplyMe]

At first I didnt' even know what this post was about so I looked at old posts and figured it out. lol Yeha I'm sooo in touch. Anyhow, mike, you seem like a really cool person and to have alot of good, helpful things to contribute and you can get alot from this site too. I believe your intentions were probably completely innocent BUT the problem seems to be that they can be taken in a different context and/or make others uncomfortable.Being a father I'm sure you can understand how this could be misread, no matter the intention behind it. I dont' think anyone feels you are bad or wants you to leave. I hope you reconsider and stay w/ us!

[missgoddess]

thinking about this i have just noticed...this forum is very friendly...i have been a member of a few and they all involve rows and nastiness...how come this one is so peaceful? mayb its cuz we all have the same goal

[siafi]

Seeing as this is an emetophobia website, it seemed a little weird for you to come on here and ask a 13 year old girl if she liked wet clothing. I love reading your posts because I feel like I can relate to you (emet-wise), so I for one do not want you to leave! However, the main goal here is to make everyone comfortable, so some people would prefer it if you kept your fetish updates to a minimum. [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]


But - you're welcome here wetjeans!!

[missgoddess]

i don't think he's reading this...u think we may be wasting our time? if u r readin this (i feel im talkin 2 myself lol) come bak!!! make a fresh start!!! its all good!

[crazybeautiful]

Hello, all, it seems as if everyone here, including Hippychic (shes PMed me over this), has a problem with the fact I like wet clothes. Well, I do, and am sorry for living. It is a part of me, and I dont think there is anything "Sexual" about it, no more that the phobia here is a sexual turn-on for others (yuck), So, since I cannot tell someone, jokingly "go take a shower in your clothes" I guess it would be better to say "Go puke a while, and call me in the morning" Hippy, is that satasfactory enough for you??? I know where and when Im not welcomed, so with that, Im outta here.








Mike

No one on this site has ever said anything about a fetish with v*. A fetish IS sexual. No one made you feel unwelcome, but some of the things you were saying was kind of inappropriate. You are always welcome to share stories and such about your experiences with this phobia, don't be silly.

[skon]

jesus tapdancing christ.


Don't let politically correct, oversensitive people tell you what to do. It's not your problem. This is like one of two sites , and the only one with any amount of people who are good to talk to about this, I wouldn't let it slip just because of silly s*** like this.

[sweetfreak]

Sorry, but it has nothing to do with being politically correct or overly sensitive. wetjeans had been told in another thread that his remarks were improper. He brought the same subject up again. We have young girls on this site and we need to keep fetishes that seem to be sexual in nature out of the forums. They do not have place here.

[Melikasa]

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Yeah I would have to agree with sweet freak on that one. Until I knew how old Mike was I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, but he was asked. Please don't leave thought this place will do wonders for you if you can just keep to the topics. Or even a few off topics that are always clean and fun. This is an awsome site with lots of super advice and questions that have made things clear.


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[chibi]

We've all seen it before, people who come that seem to only want attention. This is a support group, where it is okay to talk about semi-offtopic stuff sometimes but only as long as its appropriate and keeping other peoples thoughts and feelings in mind. If you are going to say something you know might be risque, either dont say it or dont complain if someone is offended. Sorry to be blunt, Ive just seen a lot of people pull crap in the years Ive been here.

[sage]

The thing is about rows (as the British would say) or disagreements/misunderstandings is that we're all people with anxiety disorders...and believe it or not that makes us very "danger-aware" AND sensitive to criticism, and our feelings hurt easily. It's the same part of the brain engaged with all three - sensing danger (such as sexual predators - real or imagined), believing we're being attacked personally more than most folks AND the fact that vomiting must be dangerous, so we're scared of it.This part of the brain that senses dangermay be overstimulated -in cases like Mike's, though - it's hard to know.


And the thing about"crap" as chibi calls it - is that it's pretty much inevitable if you hang around here long enough - lol.


I was the victim of, and instigator of - "crap" about a year and a half ago now. I realized throughout the course of my own therapy that I had come on here and gotten very emotional and reactive...and that this was actually linked into my phobia! (It may not be true at all for everyone, but it was for me...) I meant well - trying to convince everyone to get treatment for their phobia, but I went around it all the wrong way because I was just so darn emotional. It pissed people off (understandably), then they started yelling at me, then I got hurt and cried all the time and just left. I came back when I grew up - apologized n'all. Made a new start. It was easy by then because after my course of treatment I just wasn't all that emotional about anything anymore.


Now I can just let people be wherever they're at with their thoughts about getting treated and not feel I have to "fix" them. I just contribute what I can, on the threads I can, and shut up the rest of the time, feeling genuine compassion for those who are not ready to go into treatment, and vow to always be here for anyone who would like information about it, help or support.


Gee, this is sounding too much about me. My point is to everyone (not just Mike) that it's ok to put your foot in your mouth, get people mad at you, react childishly, and still re-connect. That's true anywhere - not just here. The tendency to "cut off" by running away is counter-productive in your life. Better to just "make up".


Neither party may feel they are wrong here. Mike may or may not have been speaking sexually or whatever...we'll never know. The thing is, Mike - it's ok. Whatever your intention was - it's just ok. We care about you just like we care about every 13-year-old girl on this site. Sometimes we just get a little reactive because we're overly sensitive to danger - both imagined AND real. Whichever you were - it doesn't matter now. So long as you continue to come here and talk about emetophobia, you're welcome. Everyone is.





P.S.: please don't take this out on Hippychick. Both John (the site owner) and I were in on the conversation too. That's what the moderators are here for - to screen for inappropriate comments or potential sexual predators. Admittedly, we're a little sensitive!Edited by: sage

[skon]

right, give a gag order"for the children".


I fail to understand how a teenage girl can be scarred by reading that someone prefers the look of people with water on them. I like women with red hair. OMG shoot me, lock me up, shut me up, think of the children!


Sensitive children should not be on the internet. It's the one place where we aren't (supposedly, seems to be gradually changing sadly) supposed to be censored to death. It's ridiculous. They're old enough to be put on antidepressants but mention something REMOTELY sexually oriented and all hell breaks loose.


When I was in school everyone talked about sex and stuff like that. I don't see how things could have changed so much in 8 years. Nobody I knew needed to be sheltered so much, but I guess nowadays coddling is the norm. Hell, we even have a sex section here. Anyone can view it, and kids probably do. There's been sexual innuendo before and nobody got so upset. Granted, this isn't a sex forum, but in any given message board the subject comes around from time to timeand that's fine.


This guy didn't do anything wrong, and I commend him for speaking up about this nonsense. I don't intend on burning any bridges on this forum, one of the few places I actually restrain myself, but overmoderation and censorship really really really piss me off to no end.

[Babydoll]

while I agree that overmoderation is awful, I dont think it applies on this case.


I tend to think about it this way. an 8 year old doesnt know the difference between someone talkign about wet jeans in a sexual or non sexual way. we do. he's asking people, some of them who are very young, sexual questions that they may answer, without giving thought to it.


any other sexual question we tend to ask is blunt and kinds will know the difference. I dont know how to explain myself here and i think im probably going to confuse you all before i make a point. if anyone can put this in better words please do!


I don't think its appropriate. end of story.

[sage]

Gee, Skon, if only we knew where you stood on this - lol!


The thing is, while the internet is a "public place", this site is owned and operated by John. He receives funding for it from a number of people, and puts up a lot of his own cash as well. He provides a service to humanity with a certain theme. He doesn't WANT this place to degrade into a chatroom for paedophiles! I'm not saying that's got anything to do with Mike - the whole Mike thing could well be just a big misunderstanding. But the rules are John's rules and he has every right to them. Hippy and I moderate the site and watch for this sort of thing because John's not here very much. We're pretty careful not to "censor" anything, I think. Lots of open talk goes on here, and yes, kids can read it. But having a conversation with a kid that appears sexual is something else again- especially when it goes back and forth like a chat room. They can do that wherever they want - but not on this site. If people don't want "overmoderation" they can go to lots of places on the internet, for sure.


And while we're on the topic of censoring, just to let everyone know John hates swearing and foul language, too. Especially the "f" word. If you resort to a lot of that, just watch your posts disappear. The best rule is: keep it on topic, and keep it clean.

[crazybeautiful]

right, give a gag order"for the children".


I fail to understand how a teenage girl can be scarred by reading that someone prefers the look of people with water on them. I like women with red hair. OMG shoot me, lock me up, shut me up, think of the children!


Skon, honestly I think you need to change your attitude. All we're doing here is looking out for the younger (and some of the older members). If they are feeling uncomfortable for any reason, it should be looked upon. He didn't put it so eloquently as to say "I like the look of water on people". He blatently said "You like wet jeans? You ever swim in jeans?" And to a member who was only 13!!!


Sensitive children should not be on the internet. It's the one place where we aren't (supposedly, seems to be gradually changing sadly) supposed to be censored to death. It's ridiculous. They're old enough to be put on antidepressants but mention something REMOTELY sexually oriented and all hell breaks loose.


When I was in school everyone talked about sex and stuff like that. I don't see how things could have changed so much in 8 years. Nobody I knew needed to be sheltered so much, but I guess nowadays coddling is the norm. Hell, we even have a sex section here. Anyone can view it, and kids probably do. There's been sexual innuendo before and nobody got so upset. Granted, this isn't a sex forum, but in any given message board the subject comes around from time to timeand that's fine.


Where has there been sexual innuendo? The only "sex section" I've seen is questions asked about sex relating to emet. Which I see as perfectly fine.


This guy didn't do anything wrong, and I commend him for speaking up about this nonsense. I don't intend on burning any bridges on this forum, one of the few places I actually restrain myself, but overmoderation and censorship really really really piss me off to no end.


Overmoderation is used on this site, for the reasons mentioned by Sage and Hippychick. Honestly, this should be a safe and happy place for people of ALL ages to come and speak freely about their expieriences with Emet and things concerning emet. NOT fetishs.


\

[siafi]

Hallelujah and amen, crazybeautiful!!!


I just think that there are millions of places - on AND offline where you can bring your thoughts regarding your fetishes. How hard can it be to avoid the topic for the 5 minutes it takes to write a post?


Personally, I don't think this whole thing is THAT big of a deal - but it has been blown out of proportion by wetjeansmaking it an issue of itat all. Wetjeans - (I'm sure you're reading this) You were asked to censor your posts, you didnt, and someone called you on it. How is that such a big deal? Just change your ways and no more will be said about it.

[hippychick]

Hey Skon


Yes a lot of moderation is used on this site, and no you might not be as free here as some other places. But that is for a very good reason. The people who come here (and I include myself in this) want to feel safe. Especially with everything else that goes on with them. So if something is making peoplefeel threatened or uncomfortable should i just let it go on in the interest of free speech? I Don't think so.


This has got out of proportion. It wasn't the topic of Sex i had an issue with. It was the questions being asked to underage members of the forum. Yes there is a hell of a lot of crap on the internet, but this site does not need to contribute to all that!!!! The point is wetjeans was informed how his comments were affecting others and that should have been the end of the matter.

[izzybee]

I agree. We've all said what we want to say now and its for mike to decide if he wants to return and not mention the subject again. There is nothing more that we can do!