SO mad at my psychiatrist

[kel12347]

My psychiatrist, who was wonderful the first few times I saw her, is really starting to tick me off. Every time I go there, all she wants to talk about is how thin I am and how I might have an eating disorder. I gave her Sage's info, and told her that I have always been thin, ever since I was a kid. Granted, right now I weigh a little less than I usually do, b/c I'm trying to put the weight I lost during my bad time in September back on, but that's going to take time. I can't just eat 15 pounds of food in one day to put the weight back on.


Secondly, my other therapist and I are working on exposure therapy, and my psychiatrist thinks I shouldn't be doing this. She said I should just not think about v'ing at all, and any thinking about v* will just make things worse. I have explained to her three times now that just burying my phobia under medication and avoidance hasn't helped in the last 16 years, and it's not going to help now. Sure, things are better now that I'm on meds, but the meds will lose their efficacy after a couple of years, and then that Band-Aid will be ripped off, and where will I be? Back to square one, terrified. Exposure therapy was the way Sage and other emets have been cured, and I am going to go through with the exposure therapy no matter what, but my psychiatrist just keeps saying it's a bad idea. Like ignoring the problem and hoping it'll go away, and then having a nervous breakdown once I actually do v* is a better solution.


Lastly, during the last few visits, I've been getting the impression that she thinks my phobia is, well...stupid, I guess, for lack of a better. She always gets this smirking expression whenever we talk about why in the world anyone would be afraid of v'ing. (Now I'm analyzing her facial expressions....maybe I'm getting a little paranoid). I've done everything I can do make her understand, and things were fine in the beginning, and I can't change to another psychiatrist. In addition, although we're obviously not getting along, I do approve of the way she's handling my medication.


I still see my regular therapist (who I'm doing the exposure therapy with) and she's great, no problems there. Does anyone have any advice with my psychiatrist issue?

[*mandi*]

Kel I feel so bad for you! But I know how you feel. I went through the same thing with my psychiatrist. First of all let me tell you that I've been very thin my whole life. It is VERY hard for me to put on weight. And when this phobia got really out of control..I wasnt eating very well and therefor I lost more weight.


So right away...the first thing she said was that I needed to work on my "annorexia" before anything else! I was shocked! I couldnt beleive she said that! I tried explaining to her that I wasnt...yada yada yada...


And I got the same smirk that you have when I told her I have emetephobia. She was like "no one likes to be sick" or "just dont think about it"


I think maybe you should talk to her about it and tell her how you are feeling? I cant give much advice...B.c. I stopped seeing mine after I felt she wasnt helping me. I hope everythign works out for you

[shiva]

Man.. Just reading that pisses me off! I can't believe that these are professionals! I thought I had it bad because my shrink yawns the whole time I'm talking! LOL! Anyway.. I don't know what to tell ya. Do you think you could just sit down and tell her quite frankly how you feel and let her know that if she doesn't understand the problem you don't think she can help you? I think somewhere psychiatrists (and some psychologists) get so concerned with making sure we appear to be "doing better" in their minds that they go off the wrong path. You think they take it personally or something?


I suppose they are far more used to anorexia than phobia's, so it's probably just natural for her to take that route. I remember those days, although I wasn't in therapy, when I was thin and everyone wanted to title me anorexic without looking at what the real problem was. Why is it so hard for people to just understand???


I guess I would suggest talking to your therapist who might be able to help you bring this up the next time you go to your psychiatrist. Maybe your therapist can suggest a new psychiatrist who s/he can work more closely with in order to help them get it a little better. Or mabye they can even put a call into this one for ya??


Hang in there..

[mommyof3]

You mentioned something about not being able to change psychiatrists. Do you have to see her at all? Could you see your other therapist and have her make recommendations to your family dr. and he/she could prescribe the drugs?

[stella9]

Just remember that people are attracted to professions where they feel the most comfortable. Hence, most mental health professionals have issues themselves. One of my best friends is apsychologist andhas shared with me a tremendous amount of information with regards to her colleagues and how emotionally unbalanced they are. Okay, now that I have gotten that off of my chest.


First ofall emets are not mentally ill. They are phobics which is a way different ballgame. Many mental health professionals have training with bi-polar, depressive, and othermental disorders. They know nothing about phobias. Almost every person has some type of phobia on some level or another. Some are more debilitating than others. The person who is deathly afraid of pythons is not hindered that much if they live in New York City. The likelihood ofcoming across a python is about one and a gazillion. There are people who are petrified of flying. They CAN avoid it if they want. Emets have a higher probabilbity of being hampered byour phobia because V*** is a daily occurence that happens in every segment of the human population. It is almost impossible to avoid.


You probably need to find someone who specializes in phobias. Whether exposure therapy is the way to go is questionable. It works for some and is traumatic for others. That would be something you and the phobia specialist would have to determine. Please find a person who can help you. A therapist who is bad match for your condition can only make the problem worse for you, which is what sounds like is happening.


Stella

[kel12347]

Thanks everyone for your advice. My therapist is great, but it's my psychiatrist who sucks. My psychiatrist is recommending exactly what my subconcious mind wants me to do: bury my head in the sand and keep avoiding things, which is just going to keep the phobia with me and maybe even make it worse. That's what I've been doing for years, and it's gotten me nowhere. I definitely want to keep with the exposure therapy, because it seems like the tried and true method for beating this thing. I am taking it slow, of course, using Sage's hierarchy.


Mommy, thanks for the idea. I think that once I am stabilized on my meds (we're still playing around to get me on the right dosage), I'm going to dump the psychiatrist and just go to my family doctor.

[japa]

Hey kel,


My advice is that I would go to the psychiatrist to get the meds and just ignore whatever else she says about anything. The therapist is the one that matters and the one that is working with you on the exposure, so of course, stick to that. The therapist is your main line of assistance for the phobia anyway.


I think that it is good that you have remained assertive about telling her about the phobia. Whenever she said anything about anorexia, I would just repeat myself like a broken record and say "no, I have emetophobia, and exposure therapy has cured other emetophobes." I say stand your ground until you can get away from her.

[japa]

Oh yeah, that's a good idea. Therapists usually do have a psychiatrist that they work with closely.


Oh and my sister had a therapist who took two to three mini-naps per session, eyes closed and everything. [img]smileys/smilies_35.gif[/img]She'd nod off andthen start back awake abruptly.[img]smileys/smilies_03.gif[/img]My sister is so goofy that she kept going back to her for a while. I was like, please, please stop seeing this woman. She can't help you if she's unconscious.

I guess I would suggest talking to your therapist who might be able to help you bring this up the next time you go to your psychiatrist. Maybe your therapist can suggest a new psychiatrist who s/he can work more closely with in order to help them get it a little better. Or mabye they can even put a call into this one for ya??


Hang in there..

[kel12347]

The crappy thing is that this psychiatrist is the one my old therapist recommended (my old therapist moved to CA, but my new therapist is at the same agency). My old therapist said this psychiatrist was very understanding and empathetic. Well, she was, for the first few visits. What went wrong?

[kel12347]

I talked to my hypnotherapist, and he said he's willing to talk to the psychiatrist if I want him to. He also wants me to talk to my CBT therapist first, before deciding on a course of action. My hypnotherapist said that most psychiatrists have very little training in therapy, because they have to learn so much about all the different medications. He also said that exposure therapy is the standard treatment for specific phobias, and that if done correctly, it almost always works!!!! Boy, was I excited to hear that! He did say the one thing patients don't like about the exposure is that the hierarchy can take longer than they anticipate. I'm giving myself 3 years to get through the hierarchy, so hopefully I have set aside enough time.


Also, I've now (sort of) completed hypnotherapy. No more weekly sessions, but my hypnotherapist wants me to come back for follow up every three months or so. He said that at this point, he's taught me everything he thinks I need to know. He does want to try some EMDR with me, especially with the incident that triggered my emet and my ipecac incident, but he thinks it would be better if we waited until closer to the end of my exposure therapy. He said that right now the exposure therapy was going to be the main "work horse" of my treatment program, and that if I keep up my homework and motivation, he believes I can recover. He didn't make any guarantees, of course, but just hearing that made me feel great. It made me feel even more motivated to just get this phobia the hell out of my life FOR GOOD!

[sage]

Yes, I'm so glad you have two reasonable therapists working with you. GAK.


When I met E-liz in Toronto for a drink she said her father-in-law is some sort of advocate or heads some organization AGAINST psychiatrists. Gosh, sign me and you up, huh? Unfortunately, some of them are great, and are even trained in psychotherapy but a whole heck of a lot of them are IDIOTS.


Here's what I recommend: start "taking control" of your sessions with this shrink. Be in the driver's seat - don't just sit there like a victim feeling ashamed and fearful that you're not "following her orders". Don't EXPECT anything but good meds management from the woman. USE HER, so to speak, for what she does best...manage medication (which IS helping you, I'm sure).


Each time you go, let her know on some sort of "scale" like 1-10 how well you're doing on the medication. How has the week (or two weeks, whatever) gone for you [anxiety-wise]. Don't talk about the nature of your fears, the issue, etc. Save that for the GOOD therapist who is actually understanding. In fact, once you've filled her (the psychiatrist) in on how you're doing on the meds, then see what SHE'd like to talk about, if not your fear of vomiting. If she asks about eating or weight, simply breathe deeply up into your shoulders, hold your head high, give HER a little smirk and say "I don't have any issues with food or weight, thanks" (or something like that: memorize what you will say). Then let HER lead the session - if it's not about your fear of vomiting, then whatever she might like to talk about will probably appease her.


I kind of get where she's coming from with her advice: constant, 24-7 obsession with vomit, the phobia, reproducing anxiety from the hierarchy....it can be a little much. I still disagree with her approach, but I get it. So when she asks you about the work on exposure do that "proud breathing" thing again and say "it's going well, thank-you." Or "I understand your advice, however I simply disagree with it." Or "Yes, thank-you for your advice, however I prefer to be in charge of my own treatment." Don't be bitchy, angry, or meek-and-mild. Just be...a lawyer - lol! (I would tell that to anyone, so it's funny it's you - ha ha) Calmly "state your case".


Good luck with her - and with all of it!