In recent weeks I've started getting really anxious about v* whilst I'm getting ready for bed for no real reason whatsoever. It's happening tonight and I can't stop shaking or convincing myself tonight will be the night I v*.

As I've said previous posts, I am going through stress anyway - I'm between houses staying with a friend until I move in to my new flat next week. Not being settled in your own place means I feel I don't have that 'safe space' when you're anxious or feeling n* or think you do. I'm also in the middle of a court process against a violent ex. I think these two things are making my phobia worse as I feel out of control of two aspects of my life and so I fear v* even more as it represents losing control even more.

When a random attack strikes, even if you aren't even feeling remotely n* or been near v* or anything... What do you do to calm down? I can't keep staying up late panicking when I have to work the next day. Tomorrow I have to be up early for an audition and even though I'm tired and want to sleep, all I can think of is, well if I do I may wake up and v*. Then I start imaging sensations (warmth in my lower stomach and lower back I find one of the most disturbing ones - anyone else get that?!)... What can I do? I'm due to see a psychiatrist next month again for therapy but until then I can't live like this. Also the more exhausted I am, the more I'm worried I will fall ill and also I'm less able to deal with the anxiety.