My case of emetophobia...

[rhinoseri]

It started when I was about five or so, for some reason, I dont know
why- I constantly felt sick. Like I was going to throw up. Anyhow, this
went on for the later part of my kindergarden year, and seemed to get
worse. In the beginning, I remember feeling sick on occasion during the
night, progressing to every night, and then pretty much all the time.
But it got worse and worse till sometime in early summer, when I
finally threw up. In the few days previous to that, I was afraid to
eat, use the bathroom, and I tilted my head onto my left shoulder all
the time. But after that I have always been emetophobic. I think it has
gotten worse as time moved on, because now when someone gets sick-
Well, the last time it was my brother at a hotel, I sat outside in the
bushes till about Midnight when my parents made me come inside, where I
hid on one side of the bed shaking all night (since it was in the
hotel, my brother and I had to share a bed) In the ten hour car ride
home the next day I hid beneath all the suitcases we had...



But yeah, I have some pretty weird habits that must be related to this,
one is that I will never eat what my fingers have tounched, like, If i
eat a fry or something, the very end I'll just not eat at all. I'll
also eat everything with a fork- never fingers.



When someone get's sick, I'll cover my ears, close my eyes, start
breathing funny, whimpering (because if I scream... I'll really be in
for it with my dad), and walking in circles. But when I feel sick
myself I do weird things like look for patterns and count very small
things, which usually will hold me off for a couple of hours.



Anyways, I hate being emetophobic, I have been for seven years. Evilness indeed.

[mparker5]

You sound a lot like me when I was younger, except for
the fear of germs- I have never had that. But that is exactly how I
used to act when someone was getting sick. And my parents used to act
like I was being ridiculous, too. Please hang in there. I'm sorry your
parents don't understand, but you can always talk on here. Anyway,
isn't it better to know you're not alone?[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]</font>

[rhinoseri]

Yeah, especially my dad... And I can almost see how he thinks I have
issues with that, and am over reacting, but I really try not to...

[symphonicfaith]

I completely understand where you're coming from about overreacting to others getting sick. I do the exact same things! I shut my eyes, cover my ears, shake, and just want to cry. A few months ago when I went down to Georgia to see my cousin return from Iraq, the whole family stayed in a hotel. My two little cousins had passed a stomach bug between them, and I was SO worried that my little brother was going to catch it and be sick in the middle of the night. I got up about every 10 minutes or so, and went for about a 20-30 minute walk. It was so difficult for me to sleep, as I just kept thinking about it. Then suddenly, my brother sat up in bed, and I went into a full-blown panic attack. I said things like "Zane... are you okay? Zane... Zane! Lay down! Zane, Zane!!" He obviously wasn't totally awake, and eventually laid back down (whew!). He never did get sick, so I felt like quite an idiot for getting all worked up over nothing. But anyway... just thought I'd share! It was comforting for me to hear stories of others who behaved like me, so I hope you've found some consolation [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


&lt;Zachary&gt;

[SimplyMe]

Welcome to the site! Everyone here is great! When i was in 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th grade i wouldnt' eat what I touched, it's so interesting that you said that! mine was because in 4th grade a girl had a science project that involved these crystal like things and she said they made you sick if ingested and she exhibited it on MY desk so I figured uh oh school isnt' a safe place to eat, what if they switched the desks and I had the same desk then what if they gave it to the middle school when I changed, very rational huh? If I am out an unable to thouroughly wash my hands I do the same. Sorry to ramble about this it was just amazing to read that!

[rhinoseri]

Yeah, about the not touching what I have eaten, my Dad always tries to
get me to stop by yelling at me and making me feel guilty about it
saying "Other people would be thankful to have any food even if it did
mean getting sick!..."

And I can see what he means, but what I purposely do is keep my
fingernails very long, and use them to pick up food, and the parts that
I have touched can sometimes be disguised by crumbs, but all the same.



Another thing that bothers me is people sharing pens and pencils. I
always carry around about two or three lead loaded pencils and a pen or
two, so I dont have to borrow anyone elses. I also have another pencil
that I loan out to people when they need it, and I stick it in my other
pocket so it won't get my other pencil's germy.

[pink_flamingo]

Yes, the not eating what you touch thing, i do that too. I was really little when my emet started and i constantly felt sick and complained to my mom. My mom took me to all sorts of doctors and i had blood tests and everything o.o now i realize it was just my phobia. I get panicky when someone gets sick becuase im afraid im going to catch it from them. When i feel sick (which happens all the time sense im so nervous) I usually drink alot of water and hold my breath.

[siafi]

OH MY GOSH, rhinoseri, we are exactly alike - it's uncanny!!


I had that feeling of constant sickness in my early childhood, and when I felt sick back then I would go to the bathroom and look for patterns in the tiles. Also, I had a very similar brother/hotel/bushes v* incident, AND I do that tilting of the neck to the left side thing!! The only difference is that when I do it, Ialsosqueeze the left side of my neck with my left hand. I guess we do that in an attempt to take our minds off feeling sick. Anyway, I just wanted to share our weird similarities! Thanks for telling us your story!!

[sage]

Rhino,


I had no idea you were so young - are you only 12 now? You poor thing! I remember those days - your story is really touching. I was EXACTLY like this, especially for me the morbid, horrible fear of being near someone else sick. And also my mother and sister were always ANGRY and blaming me. It was terrible.


I guess I'm here to tell you that I'm 45 years old now - cured of emetophobia, happily married with 3 grown children - a great career - and I enjoy life to the fullest (food, friends, activities, travel). So there IS light at the end of your dark tunnel. Hang in there!


Watch for my article to appear as soon as John (owner of the site) looks at it and posts it up. It's written for people to take to their doctors/therapists, but it would probably be really helpful for your parents to read. Perhaps then they'd understand, and maybe even get you some help.


You say this started when you were about 5 - may I ask what else might have happened in either your family or your parents' families around that time? (births, deaths, divorce, sickness, anything of significance). Sometimes it helps to know that.


I hope you get a lot of help and support on this site.


Blessings to you!

[rhinoseri]

Well... We were about to move to France for a few monthes, for my dad's
job, but I wasn't all that stressed about it, if I remember correctly.
But it could have been that, because a few days after we got there I
actually did get sick, and after that I felt a lot better, and didn't
feel constantly sick again- but you would think it wouldnt have taken
me about two monthes to finally actually throw up o.O



Ad now that I think about it, doing things to keep getting sick, off my
mind, especially when I was five and constantly felt sick, when I felt
well enough, during the night, usually- I'd sit in my bed and take
pictures of my stuffed animals or my clock, or whatever, since I had
the hardest time sleeping at all during those two monthes. I suppose
that's where I got my strange liking of Photography, over nearly
everything else. *shrug*


Edited by: rhinoseri

[Jenneh]

12 ????????? u have got to be kidding!!!


my gosh [img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]i feel so sorry for you.


i first got the phobia badly wen i was 11, and i was SO SCARED. i think if i had this site, i wud have felt so much better.


so, welcome to our family


im 16 btw. just so that u know.


Jen xxxxx

[Melikasa]

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Aww hey hun. BIG hugs to you. I can relate to you. I have had Emet since I was about 18 months old and it got real bad when I was about 3 My mom use to lay on the floor and I was on the couch with a bucket. We thought it was mono that made me feel ill but from that point on I was TERRIFIED of being sicl. I am 25 now and I have a baby and husband. I am almost better from it.


What seems hopeless really isn't and I hope that knowing that you alway have support here and that what you have is a REAL condition wil help. Maybe if you can get your parents to view this it will help them understand that you have a legitamate fear. I went through it with no support because my parents didn't understand and they feel bad now that they know what it is that I suffer from. Welcometo the sight I hope you make yourself at home here. </TD></TR>
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