Having dealt with emetophobia for almost 22 years I know how terrible of a mind battle this can be. I strongly believe the thoughts that affect us are very obsessional and definitely OCD if not borderline. I am new here and this is my first time posting but I wanted to share a bit of my story with you all and let you know that there IS hope. # 1 my hope is in Jesus but I am not hear to preach to you. But when I am having a terrible moment He is who I run to, pray to, and talk to. The thoughts that bombard us are truly a battle for the peace in our minds and hearts.
This phobia is such an irrational phobia that I can't believe at times someone who has vomited 2x in 22 years has fears and thoughts of the possibilities of it happening almost daily. It truly is a phobia that tortures the mind and tries to consume every waking thought. At the highest moment of stress in my life in my early 20s I had this fear BAD. I became agoraphobic. I couldn't drive. I stopped working. I hardly ate. I wouldn't do well in public places. I couldn't sit in the MIDDLE row of a movie theater. If I went to a restaurant I wanted to sit near an exit.... what was I running from? For years I did not know I had emetophobia and that it was the cause of my anxiety until God revealed it to me. Over the years I've pushed myself to do things that I feared and little by little with God's help I have overcome SOOOO much. I wouldn't eat certain foods or do certain things and over the years I have been healed of those fears and have come such a long way that would take up too much space to write about. What I want to share about with you now is the last time I became ill. I had not been ill in 9 years and it appears my husband and I both got food poisoning. He spent the entire night sick from both ends and I just had d*. However after 6-7 hours of d* I woke up and knew I had to do "it". (by the way I have no problem using the real word but I choose not to for those who are sensitive to the). So I woke up and went to the bathroom and did what I had to do. In between moments I asked my poor husband who was in the bed and exhausted from being sick all night to call 911! One of my fears of being sick is that if I start it will never stop. Now how silly is that? He yells back... you'll be fine! You don't need an ambulance. A few more seconds went by and by the time I was done and it was EVERYWHERE. I felt a bit silly that I had asked him to call 911. I cleaned up everything like it was nothing. It didn't faze me one bit. And I remember as I was done cleaning and began to walk out of the bathroom a sadness came over me.....I couldn't believe....for the past 9 years I have been fearing, wondering, concerned, worried and allowing this fear to control me for so long......I just couldn't believe I had wasted SO much precious time on something that was over in less than 1 minute. The amount of time and years wasted brought me a sadness I cannot explain. I was fine the rest of the day and I do thank God that even though it did happen it was only 1x. He showed me grace and mercy even in that and at first I was a bit upset that He had allowed it to happen but I think He wanted me to see that I was already healed from this and that I didn't have to fear it. We do not always know why He does what He does. So long story short I was good for many many months and again some stress and anxiety hit earlier this year and my tensions ran high, fears came back pretty strong but still remembering and trying NOT to let my life pass me by while I worry and focus on this THING. There are SOOOO many worse things out there that could be happening to us.
Just look at the news... Ebola, Chemo, People with horrible disorders that makes them ill all the time. Most of us are pretty healthy for the most part. Don't let a major illness or sickness be the reason you realize you've been wasting your time worrying about nothing. I know its easier said that done but I've been there done that and yes over time, with dedication and pushing through on things you fear little by little you can overcome.
The current things I am working on overcoming are fear of food poisonings vs SV from a restaurant. When I know I am going out to eat my mind kicks into high gear checking restaurant reviews and trying to carefully pick something off the menu and so on and so on and so on.
One of my biggest triumphs is having my son. I didn't not want to have kids for fear of v* and my husband talked me into it and I am so glad he did. I didn't get sick not once. Had some days of nausea but that was it and I was able to overcome. I am so glad that I chose to have my son because if not, I would have missed out on such a beautiful life that brings me such much joy.
So my point in all this is.....I'm not perfect. I'm not there yet. I'm better than where I was years ago....I'm not there yet...but one day I will be. Don't let fear win the battle of your mind. Don't let fear dictate your life. Don't let something that takes 30 seconds or less to happen dictate what you do in the hours that you are with your loved ones.