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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    185

    Unhappy Major setbacks, can't be bothered any more :(

    Buut I know I have to keep going. Incoming rant now XD I doubt anyone will read this, let alone reply to it but I rarely vent and I really need to.

    So I'm trying to do exposure therapy for my emet, and so far it's been going pretty well! I've been eating without washing my hands (even after being out in public), taking 30 minute bus journeys, going out when I feel tired and sick, eating meat cooked by my boyfriend, amongst other things. But in the past few days, things have just gone so badly and I don't know if I can continue with it.

    I found out a few days ago that I need a filling, which shocked me because I brush my teeth 3 times a day and don't eat or drink many sugary foods, but ah well. Thing is, needing a filling is one of the things that has scared me for years because I knew it'd happen one day, and welp, here it is.

    Today, I went to my boyfriend's in the back of his dad's car and felt extremely lightheaded once I got there. Like when I stepped out, I felt really dizzy for a good 10 minutes and as far as I'm aware, that's how motion sickness starts. Basically, had the journey been longer, I may have started to feel sick. Knowing this, on the journey home (same car) I had a huge panic attack and his dad very kindly stopped for me and let me walk around outside for a bit before he drove me the rest of the way home. Again, I felt super dizzy when I got out. Now, I've been on bus journeys of the same length recently and not felt dizzy when I got off (OK a bit, but nowhere near that as much as his dad's car). I've also been in the backs of cars for 6 hour journeys and never once felt lightheaded or dizzy. That includes ones I had panic attacks on, so I know that didn't cause it. Basically, random motion sickness out of the blue. Nooww, here's the deal breaker! It could just be the way his dad drives. The car was very smooth and he braked a lot I think. So that would make sense. But if it's not that, and I've suddenly developed motion sickness, how the heck am I ever going to get back on the bus/into his car to go to my boyfriend's house again :'( I can't do it! I don't want motion sickness! Or a filling! What next, those were both things I was terrified of. I'm also scared of migraines. If that happens too, I quit life.

    Interesting side note - Whilst having the panic attack, his dad asked me 'Are you feeling car sick?' in such a calm, caring voice. After we'd stopped, and I explained to him that I have a phobia of being sick (my boyfriend had already told him but I was just reminding him), he said something like 'All that would happen if you were sick is we'd clean it up' or something like that. Again, he said it in such a kind way. And I felt really weird. It is weird, isn't it, when someone around us treats vomiting like it's no big deal at all. It's like we can't possibly imagine how that person could be so laid back about it. My boyfriend and his family are so supportive, which is a massive surprise to me as a lot of my family are totally insensitive. I could not ask for a more understanding and caring man and I am so grateful for that.

    TL;DR I need a filling, and I felt dizzy in the back of a car today. I'm scared

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    6,995

    Default Re: Major setbacks, can't be bothered any more :(

    aw I'm sorry honey. motion sickness is an inner ear thing where you get dizzy. I get it too. your bfs dad sounds like a really kind and caring person. and ugh fillings. I need to get like 4 done but started a new full time job and can't take off time until January. yeah. it sucks.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Philadelphia, PA
    Posts
    738

    Default Re: Major setbacks, can't be bothered any more :(

    It's unlikely that you would suddenly develop motion sickness. It's much more likely that you could have a cold coming on or just had a clogged ear. So far as the filling, it will be fine! It will be over in a few minutes. You won't feel sick from it at all. For a few hours afterwards, your mouth will taste a tiny bit metallic, if you get a silver one. That will go away. I work for an orthodontist, and in dental offices. I promise, everything will be clean and the doctors and assistants will be wearing gloves and masks. Remember, they're protecting themselves too!

    Sorry if this has typos, I'm on my tablet and that stupid huge CHAT NOW button is blocking my text box. Grrr
    -Jenni

    "Look for love and evidence that you're worth keeping." PJ

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    2,305

    Default Re: Major setbacks, can't be bothered any more :(

    Hi, I totally understand the dizziness and light headedness. I've been there and it's very scary because you can't control it and you don't know what caused it and if it will get worse, etc. I would try short car rides to see how you feel and gradually go longer if you can. It could have been just those few times in a row.

    As for the filling, just let your dentist know about your fears so he can be more accommodating for you. Are you worried about the numbing, if it will hurt??? what? They do a really good job these days and it is quick. If you aren't worried about pain and if it's a small filling, you could even have it without novocaine. I usually do that and then don't have the after effects of the numbing. Anyway, please tell your doc...you will do great!!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Location
    Bejing, China
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Major setbacks, can't be bothered any more :(

    Wow, I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so terrible; I've been on this site for a little while and most of your comments/replies/posts are all so positive! They've helped me sometimes when I was feeling down about my emetophobia.

    I know this thing feels like the worst thing that could've happened to you. I don't mean to minimize other phobics' pain, but sometimes I really wish that I had gotten a different phobia; something that is easier to avoid, like phobia of a certain animal, for example. But emetophobia is one of those things that just doesn't give you a chance, does it? Sometimes I'll feel like I'm making progress and cheer up a little, and then the next day something new happens, a new challenge arises (like a tooth filling or your motion sickness experience) and it all falls apart and I have to build it all from scratch again. It's horrible. You feel the weight of every single little effort like a stone you're dragging behind, and everytime your stomach gets a weird feeling, it feels like nausea. I get it every day, and each morning my mind goes like "oh my god! I'm feeling nauseous! Or at least I think I am? Is it real this time? Doesn't it feel different? Maybe it's really a stomach virus this time! Maybe I'll really vomit this time!" (anyone else do this?)

    I am happy to hear that your boyfriend and his family are so supportive of your phobia. I feel like my mother acts really insensitive towards it most of the time I know she loves me, and she's told me several times that she wished to be able to take it all away from my mind and put it in hers, but I look to her for comfort about my phobia all the time, so I guess it's only natural that she should lose patience; I shouldn't ask the world from her. Luckily my friends seem really supportive and laid-back about it too, and they don't ask stupid questions like "but why?" (They understand it's an irrationnal fear that I cannot control).

    Sorry for ranting... Guess I needed to do that myself, haha. Again, sorry to hear you're feeling bad. But it's great you're trying to do something to fight this phobia and were making progress before this mishap! Please don't give up or "quit life". The one "good" thing about becoming emetophobic is that it made me realize I can deal with humongous amounts of stress and anxiety that I'd never thought I would be able to overcome before, and I think that's something that can go for a lot of people here. So don't lose hope; remember how laid-back the people around you are about vomiting, how they see it as something natural and not scary in the slightest, and strive to become like them. I know it's a challenge, but hang in there.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    488

    Default Re: Major setbacks, can't be bothered any more :(

    I've never had motion sickness but sometimes when I'm in an unfamiliar car, like my bf's mom's for example, especially in the back seat i'll psych myself into feeling dizzy and nauseous because my biggest fear is throwing up in somebody's car, I can't even express how ashamed and embarrassed I'd be. so its an anxiety thing for me. Maybe similar for you? I've never been carsick in my entire life, and my family used to do looooong car trips. I don't think it suddenly just happens.

    As for the fillings, they aren't fun but honestly they aren't that bad and its done really quick. A few months ago i had SEVEN done in one appointment and it took about an hour. So just one should be less than 15 minutes The dentist will numb you up and you won't feel a thing other than vibration and pressure, but it doesn't hurt. You will be fine The anticipation is soooo much worse than the actual appointment, I promise.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    185

    Default Re: Major setbacks, can't be bothered any more :(

    You guys! I didn't check this post for a while because I haven't been on the board, but I just came back and saw all these encouraging replies. It made me feel so much better, especially since I've been kinda nervous this afternoon. I'm going to get some kind of anti anxiety prescribed so that I can go to the dentists without needing sedation, so I'm not TOO worried about that any more, but y'all made me feel good about it ^-^ thank you xx
    As for the motion sickness thing, Collie it sounds exactly like that. I've been on 5 hour+ long car journeys in the back of my dad's car and never even felt dizzy, let alone nauseated. So I'm guessing it was a mixture of anxiety and how warm it was in the car the first time (which made me believe I'd feel dizzy again on the way home, so I did). That's my biggest fear too! I feel like they'd be horrified and disgusted by it and hate me. Therefore I always feel like I'm about to throw up with anxiety when I'm on long journeys. It passes though when I relax!
    That's fine Scaredy, you're more than welcome to rant :3 I definitely know how that feels. If I'm online you're welcome to private message me too, I will always listen *hugs*. That is exactly how it feels. When you're scared, all that seems to matter is the fear and you can't look past it and realise you'll be okay in a couple of hours. It's just I-want-to-die-this-sucks kind of fear. And yep, I'm CONSTANTLY thinking to myself 'Is this real nausea this time? Will today be the day I throw up? What about tomorrow?' It's so annoying! I hope you're doing okay xx
    Thank you Naive ^_^ and Andee, I'm just afraid of having a panic attack really! It would be awkward to have to stop the dentist because I was freaking out so badly. Getting that sort of adrenaline whilst sitting in a chair unable to move is terrifying. I think I'll take music to listen to ^-^
    Spoke to my dad about the motion sickness thing as I'd like to go visit him some day (he lives 200 miles from me). He was also supportive about it and also thinks it's nothing to do with motion sickness.

    This phobia can be beaten! I may panic post a lot of times in the next few months but I just need to do it to get it off my chest. I will also post positive things whenever I can In general, I feel really positive about overcoming this. With time, effort and exposure it HAS to be possible. It's just a matter of getting through the next few weeks. I believe that every one of us has the courage and strength to get over this. It's hard, yeah, but when you think about the fear we go through on a daily/weekly basis, a few months of terror and exposure has got to be worth a lifetime of freedom.

    *big hugs for everyone* thank you for the support xxx

 

 

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