Hey, guys. New member here, although I am not new to reading forums. Been reading other people's forums for about a year now. And, also certainly NOT new to this fear. Well, to start I'm 13. Might seem young, but I do know what I'm talking about once it comes down to the sv, or fp. Im not a popular kid, so don't worry about me being a nasty little greedy teenager. If anything I'm shy, aha. I was basically born with my fear. As a tiny one, I'd cry when I or someone else would v. That was the very start to a life controlling fear. I went to pre-school when I was 2, and children regularly just v*ed all over everything, I'd run into the nearest corner and sob. Kindergarten I'd hysterically cry once one mentioned a stomach ache. First grade. Ah the year bad went to horrible, life controlling, just.. Just undesrcibly miserable. I had the fear and used purell about every 30 minutes (yes, I know hand sanitizer doesn't kill noro, alcohol doesn't kill the virus.) and there was this kid, he was allergic to milk to the point if he was in the same room as it he'd v. Every day after lunch he'd v in class and I'd run out of class to the main office to the support teacher. Eventually I went to a real therapist. It just frustrated me more. I was too young for them to expose me to videos of people v*ing, so it was verbal therapy such as telling me to breathe. People ask how I'm so skinny, my daily deit was a chicken nugget... I refused to eat if I was n. I was always n. My parents wanted to be supportive but just made me mor frustrated, no one understood me. No one understood why someone coughing sent me into a panic attack. I stopped therapy when I was 7, they thought I was cured. I ate about two meals a day. At 8, I went back to my horrible state, and refused to eat. Prescribed to Pedisure. Refused to drink it, tasted horrible and made me gag. At 8 I was less than my 6 year old cousin weighed. And she was normal weight. And, I hadn't said it but at age 6 I got to sv. The earliest one I can remember. Then might have in between 6-9. At age 9 I was in the process of curing myself, when I got the sv again. That all fell apart. At age 10 we moved 30 minutes away from where I used to live, and that caused a lot of anxiety. Years of struggle. Much more to tell but it'd be a thirty page paper. I'm now 13. Everyone's catching the sv, and I'm freaking out. Been eating lately, can eat a whole pizza pie if I wanted to. For real. But this year I KNOW I will catch the sv! I'm so scared, I don't know what to do. I don't use hand sanitizer anymore, I eat with plastic forks from the school cafe, and it's a good school. My mom says when it happens, it happens but I had said I'll loose all progress I made. I used to pace in circles, flinging my hand around when n. I no longer do that. I can eat, I don't eat until hungry in the morning.my little brother just started pre school and hes caught a sv every year of his life, that's 4 sv's! Plus two food allergy reactions. He has acid reflux, and if he doesn't like a food or smell, he gags and v. It freaks me out and I loose all appitite, for the day. If a friend says they or a family member got the sv, I advoid them for 2 weeks Minimum.

Sorry for for the long paragraph, it needed to be lifted off my shoulders...


is anyone elses life controlled by this? No public bathrooms, no going out with friends.. It's tourcher.