i cant cope anymore!

[EmmaDarling]

i feel like there's something wrong with me all the time. my head, tummy, back, hands, face, legs, everything hurts. every hour i think "do i feel sick? am i going to be sick?" which then makes me feel sick. i feel ill everyday and its getting to the point now where im too afraid to talk to my family and friends about it because i dont want to annoy them. i am so fed up with having these unnecessary thoughts in my head. when someone wakes up in the night to go toilet i think "are they going to be sick?!" i cant remember what it feels like to be normal and then when i do feel some what normal/ok and forgot about my phobia, i remember that i have this thing in the back of my mind controlling me. i want to be able to go out and not look for sick on the floor, not watch people and try and judge whether they look unwell, not be afraid to go to a restaurant and to just go at least one day without thinking about sick. i am terrified to go to bed coz i think im going to wake up in the night and be sick. i used to love food but now i barely eat. i dont know how to conquer this. anyone who has conquered emetophobia or anyone who is on their way, please tell me how.

[slkarsch]

I can't tell you how to cope because I'm barely hanging on myself. What I can tell you is that I feel the exact same way you do, and that you are not alone.

[EmmaDarling]

It's nice to know I'm not alone. I just seem to have lost all my strength, I don't know how to fight my thoughts anymore. Just want to be myself again

[pogopig]

Emma I feel for you, I used to be exactly the same - terrified to eat, sleep, obsessing all the time about being sick. I couldn't even have a relationship until I was 34 as I couldn't get near people in case they were infected. I had millions of rituals to stop myself from getting sick. For me the phobia was part of OCD which made it really hard to deal with.

I wish there was an easy way to recover from this but there isn't. I've improved in many ways although there's still a long way to go. The thing that helped me was having a years worth of CBT. Also having my first relationship and risking being close to someone. We've been together 4 years and I've not caught anything from him yet.

Please go to your doctor and ask for cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). It's hard work and scary but if you work at it it should help a bit. I know some people take medication to help with anxiety. Personally I've never done that as I'm too scared of side effects. They can be helpful for many people though.

[EmmaDarling]

I'm on a wait list for therapy but it's taking forever. Doctor out me on some anti anxiety medication but it made me feel dizzy and sick soni obviously stopped. But I will remember that CBT, thank you. I'm so tired and I just want to sleep but this horrible phobia won't let me sleep, its inventing something that might never happen. The chances of me being sick tonight are like 99% it won't happen. But that 1% is trying to turn into 100% that it will happen. If that makes sense lol just want to calm my tummy down so I can sleep.

[ShanArt]

I signed up to become a member so I could post when I saw this. I remember feeling EXACTLY like this 7 years ago. I would not leave the house, I would only eat crackers and sip soda and I was constantly shaking in fear of becoming sick. My mom finally convinced me to go to the doctor and ask about medicine because I could not cope by myself or with therapy alone. I was to the point of quitting my job (that I LOVE) because I was fearful of leaving the house.

I went to the doctor and broke down in tears as I told her everything that was going on. She suggested I try Lexapro. I am in no way trying to say medicine or that this medicine is for everyone. However, it literally saved me from myself. It took a couple of months but I could actually function again, began enjoying my job, could leave the house, etc. (Starting to take the medicine was a challenge in itself because I thought the medicine would make me sick until my mom yelled at me to just take it and I did so out of anger but was so happy I did).

Because of taking medicine, I have been able to also find ways to cope and am even facing my next fear - getting pregnant! (Still scared of putting myself purposely in situations that could get me sick).

I just wanted to say you are absolutely not alone. I felt like I was a person who could never conquer this, let alone leave the house again. But I did. You will too.

[EmmaDarling]

7 years?! Wow that's amazing. Wish that was me. I feel the same about medicines. I always read the leaflet before I take them. Thank you for sharing that with me gives me a bit of optimism

[Rls1994]

Emma, I can totally relate to you.. I am feeling n* all the time again... While I have never, ever v* since I was 10 with n* (I'm 20 now), I keep thinking, is this going to be it? It never happens, though, so why do I keep worrying when I am n*? It's so annoying! I really hope you feel better soon, Emma. Please keep us updated.

I thought I was the only one that gets anxious when someone suddenly gets up in the middle of the night. I always shout and ask if they're ok and they're like, of course I am, silly! lol. It doesn't bother me so much anymore because I listen to music in bed so I can't hear much.