question for moms here?

[kthomas629]

Are you a mom who hovers over her kids when they are sick? I have found as my children grow that my maternal instincts are stronger than my fear. When my kids are sick with anything I am a helicopter parent. I am never further than a quick run away if they need me. I have linked this to a need to control everything in my life even when my kids are ill. And I think that is part of my emet. because *n and *v is something that takes away your control. I know when they were little and sick I would panic and make my husband do it all. But I was never far away even then and gradually I guess I did my own form of CBT when they were sick by forcing myself to clean up after them and sit with them while they were *v. Now I would go crazy if I couldn't be with my kids when they are sick. Baby steps huh...

[Syrup]

It's funny, I've done the opposite. When my oldest was little I didn't care who looked after him. My husband and I just dealt with it, often caught it, were sick and moved on. Then when my youngest (now 5) was born I freaked out about bugs. It started with me totally freaking out about the baby catching it and spiraled from there. I used to be right there the entire time, hovering, constantly reassuring, etc. but then my therapist suggested that this can actually be bad for them. If they see it as a thing that they need reassurance through, babying, etc. it can cause them to believe it something worse than it is resulting in them worrying about their own stomachs and needing me to reassure them whenever they have a stomach ache, etc. leading to them feeding my anxiety. She suggested that I treat it like most people. So I began 'asking around'. My therapist also had 4 young children so she told me what she did. Anyway, this past bug a few weeks ago my 9 year old hung out in my bathroom with a pillow, blanket and my computer and watched movies until he recovered. My 5 year old was downstairs with my husband watching movies with a bucket. I didn't hover over anyone. When my oldest v*ed I would go in, ask him if he needed anything, assure him that it would be over soon and clean the toilet. When my youngest needed to v* I went into the bathroom with him, rubbed his back while he v*ed, laughed with him when he remarked that it came out of his nose and then sent him back to watch movies. I no longer hover and I have to tell you that they bounced back just fine. My youngest used to ask me every day if he was going to get s* following a virus, this time NOTHING! So, I seem to be making some progress and it thrills me. They are becoming more independent and I am becoming slowly more relaxed about it! I hate the idea of this bug spreading through my family, but I hate the idea of spreading my anxiety and feeding this phobia SO MUCH MORE!

[sdfl]

I think I can be a smother mother at times, but the fear is still there. I am a single mom, and I don't like making others look after my two children if I can help it - especially when they are sick. Naturally I clean all of their sick messes. It's only natural for us to want our children to feel better when they feel rotten. Even in the midst of fear.