Daughter is sick and I'm in panic mode

[jmmegill]

Actually, despite the title, I'm doing the best I have in her almost 5 years of life and sicknesses. She v*ed when I went to get her for dinner last night, and has been in bed since with a trash can by her side. This morning she's a lot better, still has a fever, but the V*ing has subsided, or at least it has seemed to. Last night I surprisingly was able to sit down and eat my dinner after my H and I cleaned her and the bathroom up. Normally, my stomach would turn from anxiety and I wouldn't be able to even look at food for awhile. I can't eat a whole lot, but the fact that I am eating, even a little, speaks volumes. I took a shower right after I got D to bed, and spend the night numbing my brain watching M*A*S*H and playing some Super Mario 3 on the NES (retro gaming really calms me for some reason), and I was able to get through the night and even sleep a little. D was able to take care of herself with minimal check ins. Her being old enough to make a trash can on her own really helps. I wash my hands like mad after every time I go in her room to check on her. Now I'm not so worried about H...he was a military man and seems to have an iron stomach...and he's a big boy and can take care of himself...we have a spare room so I can sleep there if I really feel the need but so far I'm ok. I'm really worried about myself. Though when it happens I can handle it, it's just the unknown "Will I, won't I" spiel on repeat in my head right now. Doing my best to keep my brain numb, but I have to go grocery shopping tonight and I'm so afraid it will happen when I'm out. Ugh! The other thought reeling in my head is do I really want another child? H and I have been talking about number 2 and it will happen sometime soon, but when the bug hits our house, I always second guess myself as to whether I will be able to handle two children v*ing. Also, I'm annoying the crap out of H and D because I check on D so much. I really wish there was a way to get over this...they both know I can't help it....D rolls her eyes and says "I'm fine Mom!" and H tells me to just use the monitor and stop going in there. I can't help myself...and I hate living like this.

[Syrup]

WOW, your daughter sounds amazing! Must be a girl thing. My 5 year old son needs me right there when he's v*ing. Heck, my 9 year old seems to need more assistance than your daughter! What was she doing in her room while she was actively v*ing? Did she have something to do?

Honestly, the fact that she was on her own without you two in there puts your risk to a serious minimum. As long as she's scrubbed up today and you're sure to bleach spray the bathroom after she poops I'm doubtful that you need to worry about it.

Regarding a second child, keep in mind how infrequently they are sick. It rarely happens when you consider how often they are healthy. Besides that, if your daughter is already caring for herself at 5, you've got it made! 5 years is a BLINK in childhood. Don't avoid your happiness and certainly not having a larger family if that's what you desire because of v*.

You're doing awesome! Sounds like you've come really far in your fear management! Congrats!!!!

[twigandfuzz]

I am sat here in total awe. How does your daughter look after herself? Mine is 5 and is not even remotely able. She knows I don;t like it, but I have never admitted I am phobic - although I think she realises... she also does the eye roll / sigh thing when I check on her repeatedly and bug her senseless...

You are so brave to be able to look after her - I run in the opposite direction and freak out.

Well done, really well done!!!

[mdgirl1977]

you are doing so amazing!!!! I am really proud of you! Being a parent is so hard. Last weekend my son was on the verge of v and like your daughter, he just asked for a trash can and told me to leave him alone with the tv. I checked on him a ton but mainly stayed in the doorway, watching. like you, I made myself eat and act semi normal and it worked out.

YOU ARE AMAZING! Keep it up, mama!

[jmmegill]

It has taken me a long time to get where I am. I'm still very jumpy. Any burping noise she makes is going to make me hit the ceiling for awhile. I don't know how I've kept it as calm as I have this time. Last time she was sick, I ran off, told my husband she was sick, and he tended to her. This time, I don't know...while I don't like it and still am scared, I guess my mommy senses are trying to take over and keep myself at least level headed for her. A few times I got worked up, after she was done we would breathe together and I would say, you're ok, mommy is ok, you will feel better soon, and I think it helped us both. As for her, when she's this sick, she seems to prefer being left alone. She's had her ipad in her room running movies non-stop, and now that she's done v*ing she asked for a couple barbies to play with/sleep with. I comforted her a few times, and watching her on the monitor she seemed to sleep in-between, and when she woke up to be sick, she would just watch for a few minutes then fall back to sleep. Actually I'm pretty proud of her. I don't think I was as self-sufficient as she is at her age. I'm directly across the hall from her and have been getting her pedialyte and ice cubes when she asks, but she's pretty wiped out and I don't think there is much I can do anyways. H is really good at playing go-between when I get really out of hand. He'll never pretend to understand my phobia, but he understands enough that after the intial incident, I need to step away and take a breather, and most times that requires getting out of the house. Last night, I just went to the grocery store for the pedialyte and saltines, but it was enough. I've been working hard because I hate that I react the way I do. I also have this weird tic that since I was a baby, certain lullabies and music box sounding songs make me cry. Nobody understands it or knows why, it just happens. Just like my fear of v*, H has steps he takes to help me snap out of it and get my mind on other things. I wish I knew exactly what I've done to help me. It's just been a big bag of experiments until I find something that numbs me enough to go on. It took years, but a big thing that helps is having family that finally understands and helps me cope. I was made fun of for years. I don't know what clicked with my parents and my sister, but at some point when I hit adulthood, they realized that it wasn't funny to me and that it's pretty serious. I've been determined not to let it run my life. I hate not wanting to do things because I'm afraid somebody will v* (I won't ride Mission Space at Disney anymore because the last time I rode it years ago the woman next to me laughed and said she wasn't sure if this would make her v* or not. Scariest three minutes of my life!). I don't want to be scared of life.

[bambina912]

how are you??
i don't know why but reading your post has made me feel so much better. we treat SV as if its ebola or something, but its just something that happens and your daughters story is making me realize that (i especially like the "im fine, mom!" part haha. shows how silly we are...)

From reading peoples posts i realize that despite my belief, i'm not the worst emetophobic to ever exist. anyway, hope all is well and if all is not well -- it will be soon.

[cargal16]

I'm in the same shoes right now. My 9 year old daughter has the SV, but she isn't handling it as good as your daughter. The first episode, she got sick everywhere! It was awful! At least now we have her aimed at the trash can. I'm halfway holding it together. I'm having to constantly backspace because I'm making so many typos since my hands are shaking. But I think I'm handling it the best I have in years. At least this time I'm able to help and it's not all up to the hubby. The next few days are going to be rough with anxiety! I'm just hoping my husband or I don't get sick. Did anybody else in your house catch it?

[bambina912]

The worst is over Cargal! Seriously, you've made it this far, you're here at this forum, and that speaks volumes. No matter what happens you will be okay. You're very brave for helping and I hope that she feels better soon. I don't have children but I'm sure its different when its your child!