Should I go to Florida alone??? Anxious...convince me!!!

[andee]

HI Everyone,

Question for you all...I figured you'd understand best. We have a condo in Fort Myers, FL and we try to go twice a year. Well, here in CT the weather has been brutal and I HATE it!!! We have feet of snow on the ground, bitter cold coming, and another snowstorm on the way. I am fed up and really considering going to my condo for a few days. My husband doesn't want to go and can't really leave work right now, but I'm more flexible and can do it. Also, we need to have a new air conditioning unit installed so I thought I can be there when they do it. Anyway, I am not very independent at all, more dependent on hubby when I get anxious. So my fear is going alone, how am I going to feel, what if I get anxious, what if I feel n*, how will I cope alone?

Funny, I'm not worried about flying or driving alone or any of that stuff, just the old fear as usual. What do you all think? I hate being so dependent when I can go to this nice place and escape this awful weather!! And also, how do I deal with the anxiety issues? Thanks all!! Please talk me into it!! LOL

[horsewoman]

Feel the fear and do it anyway! Arm yourself with some relaxation skills and go for it! Think about how good you would feel about yourself if you went and even enjoyed yourself, best wishes!

[mdgirl1977]

Totally go! I drove cross country (twice) from DC to CA and it was amazing. I packed a ton of food so I didn't have to stop for anything except drinks. That calmed my emet A TON. It's a straight shot from CT down, and I guess would take about 2 days if you drove 10 hrs a day? So pack some bread, pb, granola bars, chips, fruit...easy peasy. I would totally go if I could and I am in DC! Not nearly as cold and snowy as ya'll.

GO AND ENJOY! If you stop in DC half way, we can totally grab coffee and share emet stories!

[andee]

Thanks horsewoman and mdgirl, but I will be flying! 3 hours flying vs. 24 hours driving??? Yes, I worry about food, because that's what is hard for me with this...freshness, safety, what if I buy something that isn't fresh? Eating alone? How will I feel? I really should go because it would be a good challenge for me and it's a lovely place and has become our home away from home. But I am NOT independent like that!!! Arghhhh, and the flights have gone down recently too...well, I will keep you posted!! And thanks!

[mdgirl1977]

3 hrs is a long movie. you can easily do that. bring a luna bar and drink water/soda and you'll be fine. I sit through movies all the time and eat nothing. you got this! and hello, FLORIDA.

[Shubertgoddess]

Dude go. I live in ct. If you won't go, I will lol

[mdgirl1977]

Dude go. I live in ct. If you won't go, I will lol

LOL perfect comment.

[Anie]

I agree with the others, go Andee. You will be so proud of yourself and enjoying nice weather!!! No snow, wow, lucky you! Enjoy your time!

[Shubertgoddess]

LOL perfect comment.

We are buried in snow with more on the way. Is this even really a question LOL

[andee]

I know!!!! This weather is literally driving me crazy!! No sun for dayyyyssss...freezing temps, and yes, more snow on the way. I would realllly like to go but I am scared! Like today, woke up from a nap and felt "funny." Needed to use the bathroom, helped some, but right away I thought what if this happened while I was alone in FL?

Gosh if I knew some of you better I would invite you to come with me!!! HAHA. And the flights went down again too. Need to decide soon...

[andee]

By the way, I know this issue kind of sounds stupid and I realize I am very lucky to even be able to get away like this, but this is what our fear does to us.

[horsewoman]

Everybody is afraid of something... Don't let the fear win. You are strong and can do it if it's what you want to do...

[jkl81]

All I can tell you is that I live way up in northern FL and even up here, the sky is beautiful most days, many days there has hardly been a cloud in the sky. I think you'd have fun. I am really glad I haven't let my emet keep me home from the adventures that I have had.

[kaiilyn_23]

Yes, for sure! The sunshine will help tremendously. I'm always more anxious when the weather is miserable. Not just because of the sv traveling around, but my overall anxiety is increased. I'm leaving for Arizona in 3 weeks without any of my immediate family (I'm staying with a distant cousin I've only met once!) and I'm terrified, but excited. She's the sweetest but I'm of course a little concerned how I'll deal with my anxiety. But for now, my goal is to just do what I want to do and have an excellent time, and I hope you do the same! xo

[Syrup]

YEEEESSSSS! Absolutely, 100% GO! Do you have a friend you could take with you? Not because of your anxiety, but just because it might be more enjoyable with a companion!

[andee]

Hi All, wow Kaiilyn, that sounds awesome and good for you for doing it! You gave me courage! And Syrup, I've asked a few people if they would like to go, but they can't take time either from work or their families. I understand.

Today is my birthday too (45!!!), so I should really book the flights today...the weather here has been freezing, snow stopped, but now wind gusts up to 40 mph...burn your face off! Seriously, I'm gonna let this fear stop me???

[jkl81]

Probably be in the mid 70s in Ft. Meyers, not "cold" like up here in Gainesville in the 50s....haha my up north friends hate to hear me talk about our cold weather.

[betsie]

go go go.

I live in the UK, and I would definitely get on a plane to spend a week in Florida in the lovely sunshine! I am really suffering from seasonal depression this year so the rays would do me so much good!

[andee]

Gosh you guys! Not to keep going over this...but today again I got this queasy feeling while I was napping, had to use the bathroom (I take miralax cuz I'm usually constipated but sometimes it works all at once), and it panics me!!! SO I keep thinking what if I feel queasy by myself in FL??? Then I get scared and start doubting myself. Haven't booked the flights yet. It's all "what if...what if...what if." Kaiilyn, do you think this way seeing you are going away too??

[horsewoman]

But "what if" you go and have a great time and are proud of yourself! And "what if" you feel queasy and have to go to the bathroom? So what, You'll deal with it just like at home and go about your day. You're stronger than u think u are.

[andee]

Awww, thanks for all the replies and support. Well, the damn flights went up, because I was so hesitant!! So now I'm going to wait a little more and if they go down, I will grab them. Now I really do want to go. You can barely see other houses in our neighborhood because of the snow piles!!!!

You are right, horsewoman...you can't live by "what ifs" all the time. Hope for good flight prices!!

[kaiilyn_23]

Kaiilyn, do you think this way seeing you are going away too??

Oh yeah. I've been definitely struggling with the "what-ifs", especially last week. But I'm trying my hardest to ignore those thoughts because they're absolutely useless. If I feel unwell while I'm away, I'll feel better just like I always do. I'll take a deep breath, sip some tea, and remind myself that I'm bathing in the sunshine while my friends are still in sweaters. You can do this, Andee. The sunshine will help! It was sunny here the other day and I can't even tell ya how amazing a little sun made me feel.

[andee]

Thank you! Thank you! Going to look at flights momentarily...:0

[andee]

GOT THEM!!! Going Tues March 3 to Sat March 7....OMGosh!!!

[kaiilyn_23]

Yes!!! Fantastic. You will have a great time!

[andee]

Hi Everyone, Just wanted to update you on my trip. It went better than expected!!!!!!!!!! I felt pretty comfortable, rented the car, visited cousins, and had fun driving and playing my music. The weather was perfect too. Went to the beach or pool when I could. I only felt anxious a few times at night, but was able to talk myself through it. Did a lot of praying as well. I pretty much bought groceries and cooked for myself, so that helped the food anxiety. And I was always in contact with hubby and kids at home. So I am proud of myself because that was a huge step for me. And I am hoping to do it again. Thank you all for encouraging me and helping me. Hugs to you all!

[mdgirl1977]

good job! and I am so jealous! sounds like you did a great job facing many fears. this may inspire me to drive the 3 hrs to my moms this summer. I never can make it...food fear, anxiety, etc.

[horsewoman]

That is awesome!!!! You should be proud! Each time we face our fears we get a little bit stronger! Now if I could take my own advice how empowering it must have been driving and listening to your music knowing that the phobia did not win!!! You kicked it's butt!!! Yea!!

[Sjg333]

I haven't read all of these comments as there are so many so maybe you have already decided either way what you are going to do but I would say definitely do it!!
I'm in the UK and family have an empty house in the Canary Islands (4 and a half hour flight) and I was in the same position as you, I went for it anyway and had the best time of my life! On the way to the airport and waiting for the plane was the scariest bit thinking 'omg I'm actually doing this what if it all goes terrible etc' then I just thought, well if I do find it so terrible I'll just fly back.... As it happens I ended up staying longer than I initially planed!
I didn't eat very much for the first couple of days, worrying about food and getting sick and stuff but soon got past that. There were some times where I did have panic attacks or anxiety would flare from nowhere, and I must admit I ate only really basic foods (toasties, jacket potatoes, chips ...) but it was actually no worse than when I would have been at home anyway only I had the lovely sunshine to keep me positive!
I really hope you have decided to go for it, and if not don't rule it out for the future

[andee]

Thank you all! Yes, sjg33, I just got back!! And you know what one of the good things was? That you only have to worry about yourself, not the kids, not anyone else. So that makes it easier. And the music really was fun...I had to drive 2 1/2 hours, most of it on "Alligator Alley," but it's wide and open with not a lot of traffic so it was easy. I brought water, baby carrots, crackers, etc. and that helped.

Thank you horsewoman, it was almost exhilarating...just being almost free...yeah, almost cuz I'm never totally free, you understand, I'm sure...

Mdgirl, DO IT!!! It really isn't that bad, and you can totally do 3 hours!!! Just pack whatever you want that you are comfortable with foodwise, get some great song favorites, and your mom will be meeting you. Really, think about it!!!