Worst Year Ever

[lydiajac98]

I've suffered from emetophobia for as long as I can remember (I am currently 16 years old). It's been about 5 years since I've had a huge scare with it, but the very first day of this year my mom got s*. She had d* and said she was going to v* but never actually did. I had my sister come get me because I didn't want to be in the house and was freaking out. I wanted to spend the night with her but was afraid to in case I got sick and so I ended up going back home. My mom was basically fine once I got home and we even went and got breakfast the next day. I was really careful about what I touched and washed my hands a lot and after a few days I was fine. I barely even thought about if for the next few weeks. Then the last day of January my mom got s* again. But this time she v* a lot. I freaked out and went to my sister's house for three days and had so much anxiety. I could barely eat for a week, and once I got home I used tons of disinfectant wipes and spray and I've refused to eat anything out of the kitchen even until now. And also, last Monday night my mom felt s* again, but never v*. She went to the doctor the next day and they said she had a sinus infection and the drainage was probably why she felt s*. Still, though, I'm really panicky and feel like a prisoner in my own house. I even refuse to touch my pets because they've all been sitting with my mom. I've fallen into somewhat of a depression because of all the anxiety about possibly getting s*. I haven't and neither has my dad, who literally takes no precautions when it comes to getting s* at all. I guess I'm just asking if I'd be sick by now if I were going to be and if the germs are still around my house? I can't talk about my problem with my parents because they think I'm crazy.

[Dairyfreelife]

End of January was when she was sick? Then absolutely not are the germs still around. They've been gone for weeks. They can't last on surfaces very long. At most it would be two weeks, but if you wiped down and cleaned afterwards it was gone a long time ago. You won't catch anything from touching your pets either. Within a maximum of 72 hours post sickness if you were not ill you won't catch anything from her. There is not any risk of anything in your kitchen being contaminated now. If you wash your hands regularly (not obsessively, just regularly as in after you use the bathroom and before you eat or touch your face, things like that) and if someone is sick you disinfect you will be fine.
It has been over a month she was last sick. Sinus infections and drainage could definitely make her feel sick. It is 100% NOT contagious.
Do you mean your parents think you are crazy now or that if you told them about this phobia you think they would think you are crazy?

[lydiajac98]

End of January was when she was sick? Then absolutely not are the germs still around. They've been gone for weeks. They can't last on surfaces very long. At most it would be two weeks, but if you wiped down and cleaned afterwards it was gone a long time ago. You won't catch anything from touching your pets either. Within a maximum of 72 hours post sickness if you were not ill you won't catch anything from her. There is not any risk of anything in your kitchen being contaminated now. If you wash your hands regularly (not obsessively, just regularly as in after you use the bathroom and before you eat or touch your face, things like that) and if someone is sick you disinfect you will be fine.
It has been over a month she was last sick. Sinus infections and drainage could definitely make her feel sick. It is 100% NOT contagious.
Do you mean your parents think you are crazy now or that if you told them about this phobia you think they would think you are crazy?

I mean that my parents think I'm crazy already because of all the precautions I take. I try to explain to them that emetophobia is a very real thing and it's a fear just like they have fears, but they just don't understand that at all. Either way, your reply has made me feel a lot better. Unfortunately, though, I'm about to be in another situation that is going to make me anxious. I'll explain. My grandmother lives in a nursing home and last Friday she got sick, so my aunt called my dad and told him not to go visit for a few days. My mom is the one who overheard this conversation, but no one told me about it because they didn't want me to get freaked out. So on Tuesday I was in the car with my parents and my dad said he was going to go see him mother, and my mom said that he needed to wait a while before going over there. Of course, that made me wonder so I asked what they were talking about and my mom told me. My dad then said that my aunt had texted him and the doctor had said that my grandmother didn't have a SV, but knowing my dad, it's very likely that he'd lie about something like that just to get me to shut up. Either way, I basically begged him to not go that day and finally, after much yelling, he agreed to not go. I've also talked to him after and asked him to not go there until next week. He said he would but I could definitely see him sneaking around and going to visit her anyways. By yeah, so even if he does wait until next week I'm still going to be afraid that he's going to bring the germ back here because I know that he doesn't wash his hands like he should and if I say anything to him about it, he'll get angry. So yeahhh, I hope I don't sound crazy. I just feel like I can't escape SV's.

[Syrup]

First of all, if the doctor says it was her sinuses it was her sinuses. My husband's boss had a HORRIBLE sinus infection last week that caused v*ing and landed him in the ER. If left untreated it can cause n* that lasts for weeks. No doubt about it. There's no reason for you to believe that there are sv* particles in your home. Besides that, even in someone in your house did have a bug in Jan., it's now March! There's nothing left to fear.

As for your Grandmother, I'm not trying to be mean, but you are allowing selfishness to rule. You're denying your grandmother visits with her family because of your fear and as hard as it is, it's not right. I know it's hard, but it's not right for you to dictate the choices that other people make. Not only is your grandmother recovered, she's in a facility that would know how to properly clean her up once well. She has certainly bathed and has clean clothes on. You need to trust that your father is a grown adult and knows how to handle himself in this situation. It's been close to a week since she's been well, it's ridiculous to argue with everyone who wants to go see her. She's an old woman who needs to see her family; letting your fear get in the way of her happiness is bad for everyone. It allows your fear to get bigger, her to be left alone wanting to see her son and your parents frustrated at you. Yes, this fear is real, but it doesn't force you to act this way. I know how hard it is, I do but trying to control everyone around you to make yourself feel better isn't going to help, it's only going to hurt.

Why not go with your dad? That might help you. To see that she's fine (old people have v*ing for a variety of reasons, it's very likely that it wasn't even a virus), and to put the focus on someone else could be really good for you. Again, I'm not trying to be mean, but your grandmother won't be around forever, it's sad to think that someday she won't be there, don't let a common virus get in the way of family time, it's not worth it. Not even close.

[lydiajac98]

First of all, if the doctor says it was her sinuses it was her sinuses. My husband's boss had a HORRIBLE sinus infection last week that caused v*ing and landed him in the ER. If left untreated it can cause n* that lasts for weeks. No doubt about it. There's no reason for you to believe that there are sv* particles in your home. Besides that, even in someone in your house did have a bug in Jan., it's now March! There's nothing left to fear.

As for your Grandmother, I'm not trying to be mean, but you are allowing selfishness to rule. You're denying your grandmother visits with her family because of your fear and as hard as it is, it's not right. I know it's hard, but it's not right for you to dictate the choices that other people make. Not only is your grandmother recovered, she's in a facility that would know how to properly clean her up once well. She has certainly bathed and has clean clothes on. You need to trust that your father is a grown adult and knows how to handle himself in this situation. It's been close to a week since she's been well, it's ridiculous to argue with everyone who wants to go see her. She's an old woman who needs to see her family; letting your fear get in the way of her happiness is bad for everyone. It allows your fear to get bigger, her to be left alone wanting to see her son and your parents frustrated at you. Yes, this fear is real, but it doesn't force you to act this way. I know how hard it is, I do but trying to control everyone around you to make yourself feel better isn't going to help, it's only going to hurt.

Why not go with your dad? That might help you. To see that she's fine (old people have v*ing for a variety of reasons, it's very likely that it wasn't even a virus), and to put the focus on someone else could be really good for you. Again, I'm not trying to be mean, but your grandmother won't be around forever, it's sad to think that someday she won't be there, don't let a common virus get in the way of family time, it's not worth it. Not even close.

I can see where you're coming from, but I don't think you quite understand the situation. Not that I expect you too because you obviously don't live my life. There's been a lot of bad things going on these past few months that have caused me to be in the worst depressive state that I've ever been in. Not just to do with my emetophobia. I'd also like to add that my dad goes to see my grandmother all the time, a few times a week, in fact. And not to sound horrible, but my grandmother has dementia. I know this probably sounds terrible, but to be completely honest, within a few minutes of my father leaving she wouldn't even remember that he was there. Sometimes she doesn't even know who he is. Please believe me when I say that I'm not trying to say that it doesn't matter if we see her or not because that's not what I'm trying to say at all. I'm just saying that waiting a few days would not be a horrible thing. She also has nine other children who come visit her frequently and an abundance of grandchildren. Me asking for my father to hold off a few days on visiting her in order to not only protect myself from getting sick but also him and my mom who also asked him not to go because she's basically been ill for two months straight and she's just now finally getting a little better, is not some horrible act of selfishness. Just clearing that up.

[SilentFrog]

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation, I know how unhelpful it is when parents don't understand and charge about cavalier, barely stopping to wash their hands or consider that their behaviour can make us emets so anxious. Yes, you might not care about getting s*, but I do, because if you're careless and get s* it increases the risk to me... Anyway, first of all I just wanted to say that even in the worst case scenario, if your dad did catch something from your grandmother and got s*, there is still no guarantee he will pass it to you. And in fact, you can significantly reduce your chances of catching anything with just a few simple hygiene measures.

First of all, hand washing! It's seriously the most effective way to prevent yourself from being ill, before you touch your face, eat or drink, wash your hands with warm water and soap, and do so for at least 15 seconds (enough time to sing your ABCs). That's the first thing, the second thing you can do is to simply keep an eye on your dad and if he does become s*, then just keep out of his way and if possible use another bathroom (if that's not possible then get either him or your mom to clean it with a bleach solution), again that will significantly reduce your chances of catching it, even in the worst case scenario. Having been in that situation myself and used those simple measures, and read countless threads here from people who have shared houses, even beds with family members who were ill, it is these measures which will prevent you from getting ill.

Ok, so second of all let's put things into perspective. You're grandmother is quite old and after a certain age our immunity to certain types of SV, for example the Rotavirus begins to wane. So infections that spread between residents of care homes and the elderly population don't always cause any symptoms in younger people. In fact in most cases, the Rotavirus will cause no symptoms in adults, but in children (under 2) and elderly people, they can get very bad d* and sometimes v*.

My point is that not everything which can make people in certain age groups (young children & the elderly) will make healthy adult ill, no matter how much of the virus you're exposed to, so bear that in mind as well. I know it's in our emet nature to always assume the worst, somebody is ill, it must be norovirus, but that isn't always the case. Unfortunately, unless we go in there dressed in a biohazard suit and take stool samples and do analysis in the lab, we will never know exactly whether it was a virus that caused her illness, and indeed, what that virus was (although we can make a fairly good guess from the symptoms, incubation time and other factors)... And so in the absence of a mobile lab that we can use to assess how much risk people pose to us, we have to just do the best we can with simple hygiene measures.

Like I said, wash your hands with soap and warm water before you touch your face, eat or drink (it is the friction which removes contaminants and microorganisms from your hands so be sure to give them a good rub together, including in between the fingers), hand sanitizers containing at least 70% isopropyl alcohol or ethyl alcohol are useful for killing off Rotavirus and Astrovirus (two types of SV) - they normally take around a minute to act, so wait a few minutes after applying before you handle food etc. Other than that, if somebody is ill in your house and bathroom, then aside from the previous measures, the best way you can reduce risk is to throw away any items left in the bathroom (eg: not in a cupboard), for example toothbrushes, toothpaste tubes etc, as these will be covered in virus particles. Again, you might want to use a pair of disposable gloves to remove these items (more for peace of mind than necessity).

Hope that helps somewhat, I know I've rambled on a fair bit, sorry about that, in one of those moods! The important thing to take away from all of this is that your risk of getting ill is much much lower than you think it is, for starters your very careful with your hygiene, secondly there is no guarantee your dad will get ill, or even that your grandmother has anything infectious. I know it's hard not to feel trapped by all the SV going around, but try to bear in mind that about 90% of the time, the SV is picked up by not washing your hands. So already you're at 90% less risk than most of the population

[Dairyfreelife]

Having had elderly relatives in nursing homes I can say for a fact that while, yes, stomach bugs do flourish in institutional environments like nursing homes, schools, etc. many of the elderly get sick for reasons not contagious. It is very likely she did not have a stomach virus at all.
I know it is hard living with this phobia. I know how the thoughts overwhelm you and make you behave irrationally even when in any other circumstance you would be completely reasonable. I have had this dumb fear my whole life. It has made me do things that are completely ridiculous, avoiding things because someone MIGHT get sick or I MIGHT get fp from it or catch something even when that is risk is so small it is stupid to even worry.
It is now March, which means cold and flu season is almost over (October-March, though October/November are always very low with activity). Spring is coming and snow is ending, which I am quite happy about if I may say so. 3/4 of the school year is over as well.
My parents thought I did weird and crazy things as well and never understood my anxiety, but my father was always and still is a very anxious person. He just did not understand the exact phobia. You may not be able to get them to understand the fear, but if it is very severe they may understand if you sit them down and say that this has taken control of your life too much and you are not coping on your own and need help they may be willing to help you get that help.