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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    7

    Default Scared to leave the house

    Hi, I'm new to the forum so please be forgiving if this post is in the wrong place, or I say something wrong, or what ever

    I've been suffering with emetophobia for around 9 years now. With this comes OCD, anxiety, panic attacks, slight depression etc. I've seen various people and had counselling on and off in this time.

    I'm not in my last semester of third year at uni and the pressure is really starting to show. Over the last few months I have been finding it really hard to leave the house in fear of being ill when I am out, or being exposed to someone how is poorly. I really don't want it to defeat me, but I think it might. I've started to cancel and makes excuses for events I would have once enjoyed.

    I do not want to succumb to this, I want to be able to go out whenever and wherever I want!

    Any advice?

    I've also become really scared off pooping in case of D*- which, whenever I have had it, leads to V. But I think the stress and worrying from this leads me to poo more often and gives me looser stool; it is all 'in my head'? Does anyone else experience this? Am I right or am I actually ill when I have loose stool and feel like I need to go urgently and often.

    Please help.

    P.S I have seen a few post's with code letters like V* and D*... I think I might be using these right?

    Thanks.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Scared to leave the house

    Well this sums up my life! Everything you've said in this post I can relate to, I think we may be twins itsamyyeah haha!

    Have you spoken to anyone at uni like tutors or anything? Mine are fully aware of my emet/GAD and they understand if I have to take a time out or even leave. I'm doing a dance degree you see so if I'm feeling "off" for some reason it's not just like I can be sat in a lecture taking notes I have to be up and active. I was supposed to start back after 2 weeks of Easter break this week and I managed 1 day, I just couldn't do it after being "safe" for 2 weeks.

    I have the same poop fear, it's almost become worse than my emet because we always associate D* with V*. I never used to be like this until an episode back in September. I had loose stools every day until it became complete D* and I felt so awful with it! It was my 3rd week at uni (this is why I think I get afraid to go into uni incase it happens again) and I was starting a new job! It could've been anxiety, but I don't remember feeling particulary anxious leading up to when it happened.

    Anyway long story short, it's all anxiety! Your head and stomach are connected and if you're not thinking right up there, your stomach won't be right either. I can give you some tips that have helped me try and get better which may work for you but it all depends on the person.

    1. Bristol Stool Chart - sounds gross, but helpful! If my BM's are looking stranger than normal I just look at this and it reassures me that looser stools are healthy! I went to my doctor about 3 weeks ago because I was having issues with hemmeroids and he said the stools have to be loose to come out without being too painful. He recommended keeping hydrated.

    2. Assessing other factors - I automatically jump to conclusions and think that I'm ill just because of what my BM's look like. You need to think about how your diet may effect it and obviously how much of a MASSIVE part the anxiety is playing on your body.

    3. Speak to your doctor - this applies to both the not wanting to go out/poop thing. I spoke to mine about all the problems I was having in thinking that he might just reassure me and let me get on with it. Nope. He put me on medication straight away and since you are having the same kind of problems as meyours might do the same. He started me on Diazepam to take as and when I needed it and then prescribed me with a Anti-Depressant called Sertraline to take daily and I've been on it for about 8 weeks now and it's slowly but surely working! He also referred me to a counsellor but all the CBT spaces are full so far. Did you find the therapy helpful?

    Sorry for the long post I just want to share my experience and hopefully have it reassure you. Things will get better and you are not alone at all! Feel free to PM me if you need

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Scared to leave the house

    Hi Hannahlucyx, I'm glad someone can relate!

    I've only had the courage to speak to one about it and she is happy to let me do anything (within reason) because of this. All that other tutors know is that I have panic attacks, but they don't ask questions and are happy to let me deal with it however best suits me. So they're good really!

    I totally agree with you when you say "it's almost become worse than my emet because we always associate D* with V*". Totally!

    I often think I have D* and my friends (who are reeeallllly good about it) reassure me that it's stress. I then think I'm not that stressed, but if I have no other symptoms I'm not ill, so must be stress! Although in all honesty, I'll be honest and say I don't really know
    what D* is...

    I look at the BSC but I'm often towards the lower end... that's bad right?

    I'm scared to go to a doctor because that's like admitting to myself I have a problem (I know I do... and I have been to the doctors before... It's a vicious circle haha). I know I should, and at the beginning of third year I was begging myself to go to the uni doctors but I didn't. It's also not great that I hide a lot from my parents because I do want to disappoint them. They obviously know my problems, but not quite how bad it makes me feel. We english people are good at hiding things :P

    I didn't find counselling helpful. I'm a very 'closed' person so to speak, and I find it hard to share my feelings. I haven't had a connection with any of my councillors. My last one told me she couldn't do anything else to help me and that was it!

    I'm back to uni on Sunday and I really hope I'm not going to have D* in a morning or worse...

    Thanks for listening

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Scared to leave the house

    Hi Hannahlucyx, I'm glad someone can relate!

    I've only had the courage to speak to one about it and she is happy to let me do anything (within reason) because of this. All that other tutors know is that I have panic attacks, but they don't ask questions and are happy to let me deal with it however best suits me. So they're good really!

    I totally agree with you when you say "it's almost become worse than my emet because we always associate D* with V*". Totally!

    I often think I have D* and my friends (who are reeeallllly good about it) reassure me that it's stress. I then think I'm not that stressed, but if I have no other symptoms I'm not ill, so must be stress! Although in all honesty, I'll be honest and say I don't really know
    what D* is...

    I look at the BSC but I'm often towards the lower end... that's bad right?

    I'm scared to go to a doctor because that's like admitting to myself I have a problem (I know I do... and I have been to the doctors before... It's a vicious circle haha). I know I should, and at the beginning of third year I was begging myself to go to the uni doctors but I didn't. It's also not great that I hide a lot from my parents because I do want to disappoint them. They obviously know my problems, but not quite how bad it makes me feel. We english people are good at hiding things :P

    I didn't find counselling helpful. I'm a very 'closed' person so to speak, and I find it hard to share my feelings. I haven't had a connection with any of my councillors. My last one told me she couldn't do anything else to help me and that was it!

    I'm back to uni on Sunday and I really hope I'm not going to have D* in a morning or worse...

    Thanks for listening

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Scared to leave the house

    Wow, somehow I replied twice...

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    u.s
    Posts
    53

    Default Re: Scared to leave the house

    I been there. I think the reason for you wanting to not leave your house is because you feel like it's a safe place. Anyways, I sometimes get loose stool because of the worrying. And other times I get constipated. Try not to focus on your poop. Think of other stuff while pooping.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Scared to leave the house

    It's always reassuring to know someone is in the same boat as you

    Aw that's good at least they are aware! They're there to help in whatever way possible at the end of the day! Mine are great! They've suggested I go to the university counsellor so I'm going to speak to her after the weekend. I'm only in my first year so I've got a long way to go haha! Having supportive people around you is bound to help!

    I'm the same! I can wake up totally fine one day but then I'll think 'I haven't noticed how I'm feeling today' that's when everything begins to go wrong and I convince myself that something's wrong. It's got to be all in my head, it's like thinking about it makes me ill haha!

    Lots of things could cause you to be at the lower end of the scale and anxiety is probably the main one. I know you said you don't like going to the doctors but I find it really helpful (even though it's a bit of an inconvenience)! I explained to my GP about the loose stools and he said it could be IBS causing it and it's very common when you have anxiety disorders. For me, my mum and my boyfriend are my "safe" people so I tell them anything and it makes me feel better to get it off my chest. But for some people it's difficult to talk to parents, I think if you told them how you were feeling they wouldn't be disappointed they would just want to help you

    The more you worry about it the more your stomach will churn and make you feel uncomfortable. I've learnt this from experience :P there have been days where I've woken up feeling like I'm going to have D* and just sacked off uni completely :/ I'm still struggling with this part myself so I don't really know what to suggest! Although I do find that the travelling to uni is the worst (20 minute train journey for me) because I'm thinking "what happens if I get ill" or "what happens if someone else is ill" and it's on my mind the whole time. However most times I get to uni and start getting on and distracting myself and I'm totally fine!

  8. #8

    Default Re: Scared to leave the house

    I've been in situations where I felt awful and wanted to cancel but my mum always says I'm fine and I am most the time! I think when we cancel plans for it it makes our fear WORSE. Like we just give in and let it have its way. Not gonna lie, I do it a lot (hey I'm still an emet). I'm doing counseling now (exposure therapy to get over the Emetophobia) and I haven't really connected with mine but hey trying can't hurt. Best thing that has helped me is family (or friends) that reassure me that I will be just fine if I just do it. Think about how much you are missing because of it!

 

 

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