My Arch Nemsis when it comes to this fear it back

[Maige]

When my fear first truly took bloom, when it began to really negatively effect my life...well, it began one day when I was walking to school and suddenly I got this really uncomfortable sensation in my throat. A feeling of something like bubbles trying to rise up my throat and out of my mouth. From that day on I dove into the deep end of the whole fear of being sick. It got so bad with that feeling I ended up in the hospital because I wouldn't eat or leave my room.
Every now and then it would come back a little bit. I'd get that sensation and think 'oh this again. I know it's not real and I left it behind years ago'.
Yet...it's back. And with a vengeance. It's much stronger than it was before, and now it's making me retch/dry heave with it. When I first got the feeling, it made me dry heave once or twice, and that was when I was in the midst of a great panic attack. Now it can happen at any time, even if I'm calm. Sea bands do nothing to help what's going on in my throat. If this takes over me again, I'll basically be so crippled I won't be able to do anything again. I'm already disabled with severe anxiety, but at least I can go out for a short while, and for the most part I rarely get panic attacks while in my house.
So I am fighting against it, I just ask you guys to wish me luck. I will still go for my walks. I'll still go the mall to get a gift card a couple times a month (my Mom, when she can, treats me a couple times a month to a gift card from the bookstore, as that's all I ever ask for other than necessities).
My psychiatrist is booked for a long while, though I'm on his cancellation list. I'm going to do to my family doctor and ask if there's anything I can take to relax the throat and gag reflex. I'm going to do everything in my power to not let this take over me again. So, wish me luck in battling this, please!

I also just realized I made a typo in the title. OTL

[MichelleS]

Wishing you lots of luck and sending you prayers! You can do it!!