panic attacks and n*

[seemichellerun]

I just had to get this out because I am having a bad night. It seems like a lot of my worst experiences happen either at work (I'm a concierge) or late at night not long before I try to get to sleep. In the latter cases, like now, I get so frustrated with myself because my stomach barely hurts and I know the only other two times I've gotten s* I felt a LOT worse than this. Yet I still panic and freak out. I think I have forgotten what it feels like since it's been over 15 years and now every little twinge gets me all worked up. I just pace around the kitchen and my living room and just get panic attack after panic attack.


I'm curious, though - a couple times in my past, I'm pretty certain I would have been s* had I just been able to let go. I can think of three times where I was so certain that I felt bad enough that I know a part of me just wanted to do it and get it over with. But I never do. I just hyperventilate, shake, pace and throw things (usually a pillow or a shoe, nothing dangerous ) until I calm down. Has anyone else ever been able to pinpoint times when they think they should have (or, at least, their body thought they should have) but didn't, for one reason or another?


... Or is this just me?

[jenneth]

im with you with the night-time thing! i ALWAYS feel n* at night, it stops me from sleeping, and being tired makes it worse, its a vitious circle! I don't think i'd ever sleep if i didn't have certain rituals that help me feel safer. Also, i think you're right about letting go, there have been neumerous occations where i swear i should have been s*. this DEFINately isn't 'just you'. from what i've read on this site, it seems to be the life story of most of us!!


jen

[sallyw]

Oh my god! This is so weird. I feel exactly the same. Mine seems to come on at night at weekends. I was up allnight on Saturday night feeling ill, I just pace around and go to the toilet. Im so scared of being s*. I get so annoyed with myself and panic. I also feel ill a lot at work. Im scared to go to the loo in case anyone else is ill in there. Its ruling my life and Ive had just about enough. I get so angey with myself but cant do anything about it. I really need some help. I cry so often about this.

[kylie_0607]

I totally understand too. It is most ofen weekends and nights because thats when I've most often been s*. I panic that when I wake up I will feel s* because for the past two years it has been a saturday and sunday night where I have woken up had a SV and v*ed 7 times till my stomach is 100% empty. I hate it and am more nervous it will happen again this year.

[angel13]

seemichellerun, I am exactly the same as you! I often feel like I've "forgotten" what it feels like to be truly sick, though over the years there have been 1 or 2 cases where I've felt pretty bad and have come close - but I'll never allow myself to actuallydo it.


Alot of us associate night time with being sick - I certainly do, and sometimes am petrified to go to sleep. Also there are certain times of the night I'm scared of - 3:30 am is one, because I remember that being the time that I last v*d, about 12 years ago. And its funny, because any later than that, particularly around dawn, when the sun is just coming up, I'm not scared of, and feel really relaxed around. Sounds silly, but does anyone else find it comforting seeing the sky lighten around dawn? Its kinda like a "Thank god its nearly day time!" sort of thing!