i've always had emetophobia but didn't realize it had such a strong connection to my anxiety until maybe a couple years ago. i always just assumed it was normal and everyone was as terrified of vomiting as i am.
up until recently, it wasn't that big of an issue. i'd have panic attacks occasionally but my anxiety was under fairly decent control and i didn't even have to take my meds (i've been on zoloft for years and managed a little over a year without it.)
a little over a month ago, i woke up with BAD anxiety right away because my stomach was bothering me and went to the front door for some fresh air. i panicked so much that i dry heaved but nothing came up. i immediately assumed i was sick and that made my anxiety even worse -- i dry heaved multiple times that day but nothing ever came up at all, but it was like a neverending panic attack. it went on for days and i couldn't sleep or eat at all. i was sleeping on the couch and i was absolutely terrified that i'd dry heave or v* at some point especially during a panic attack. after a few weeks of debate (because my anxiety had actually been bothering me quite a bit prior to this) i started back on my meds and i'm back up to my highest dose of zoloft, 150mg.
about 2 weeks ago i lost a pet and that took a huge toll. it brought my anxiety back and i spent another week on the couch, but no dry heaving/v*ing -- just extreme fear of it happening whenever i had anxiety. i have managed to move back into my room and i can eat again, but every single night around the same time i wake up with anxiety. at this point i feel like i anticipate it so much that i'm inducing it. they last anywhere from a few minutes to about a half hour (which is a huge improvement from the 13 hour long panic attacks i was having a few weeks ago, but still.) and they're starting to take a toll on me.
n* seems to be a relatively new symptom of my anxiety ever since my dry heaving episode, but i'm never 100% sure because it's hard to distinguish between that and my anxiety. having n* as a symptom of anxiety is one of my worst nightmares. these panic attacks have ruined my sleep schedule, and it's hard to force myself to eat a lot of the time, especially at night, because i'm scared i'll wake up and v*. even the slightest feeling of discomfort in my stomach or my throat is enough to make me anxious. i'm scared that my meds won't kick in and i'll be stuck like this forever. i'm scared that one day i'll actually v* from anxiety.
i at least wanted to post here to know that i'm not alone. it's such a scary feeling, i really just wish i could stop worrying about it and be normal like everyone else but i feel like i'm stuck in a cycle and i don't know how to break it. does anyone else suffer from n* as a side effect of panic attacks? how do you deal with it as an emetophobe? i'm exhausted of repeating the same process every single night.
(so sorry for the long post, by the way! it's my first time here.)