Comforting words that help to calm me.

[flyaninnocentlife]

Hi all,

**Warning, I have not censored possible trigger words**

For those of you that want the encouraging words but not the story skip to the section in bold!

I am 27 and have been an emet for as long as I can remember, and recently went through a particularly rough patch where I even got put on anti-anxiety tablets to help - something which I, as a naturally happy person, never expected. I was referred for CBT, but byt the time I actually got an appointment months later I was back to myself. Some of you may be like me in that I seem to have episodes/periods of it affecting my life. Don't get me wrong, if I ever feel sick I immediately start to panic....but the periods where feeling nauseous and anxious all the time come and go. So, when I finally had my CBT appointment, they said there was nothing they could do as I was currently fine *sigh!

Anyway, the reason I wanted to post is that although the counselor couldn't take me on for CBT, we spent that one and only appointment covering emetophobia and how it controls me when I'm having a bad patch. And she pointed out an obvious thing that I guess I always knew but never really thought about it seriously and let it sink in. And that is the following;

The main symptoms of an anxiety attack (or panic attack if worse) are fast or thumping heartbeat, shaking/trembling, heavy breathing, nauseous, feeling of dread, hot or cold flushes, dry mouth or excess saliva (dependent on each person)....does that sound familiar to you guys too?? When I feel sick it automatically makes me anxious, which in turn gives me all of those symptoms, which then enforces the fears I'm having. The reason you feel these when anxious is due to the fight or flight response - an automatic function you cannot control. Feeling anxious (consciously or unconsciously) maybe even for a second triggers this response and floods your body with hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones will make your heart race, make you shake and reduce the activity to areas not needed to fight or flight...importantly for us, your stomach and digestive system. This causes you to feel nauseous. So actually, this is a normal reaction of your body and it will not make you be sick. Try to breathe slow, keep distracted and calm and the hormones will gradually leave your system and you will feel better again. I guess I always knew all this, but never really gave it serious thought and actively thought about it.

It is a horrible circle of feeling anxious because you feel sick which causes you to feel sick because you're anxious. Bodies suck huh! But I did find this helpful during the week when I had another attack. I kept talking to myself aloud, reminding myself of these facts, forcing myself to hear it by saying it. Of course I still had moments of sheer panic when I couldn't control my fear, but overall this helped keep me much calmer than usual, to regain control of the moments I panicked and allowed me to get rid of the attack sooner.

I hope that this may help someone else too - it won't make the phobia go away, but it may help just a tiny bit during those dark hours. It's a horrible, horrible battle we have to live every day that no one but us really understands. I, like many of you, would literally give an arm and a leg to be rid of this. The struggle we face every day means we are strong can can get through anything.

[flyaninnocentlife]

I forgot to say...I would be interested in any comforting thoughts or words you guys use to help when you are having a bad time?

[Afdpt]

Thank you for sharing! I'm 27 as well and been emetophobic as long as I can remember but I THINK it started with just being afraid of others v* near me and in time progressed to me being afraid to be sick myself. I also go through good and bad periods at different times but the worst of it for me was last summer/fall. It had never been that bad before that time and it was then that I realized I had an actual problem that needed to be dealt with.

I never made myself an appointment for therapy but was able to sort of self-treat myself with a combination of watching youtube videos, reading therapeutic techniques online, and actually getting advice from my fiance who has never been truly emetophobic but went through a period of time when he had bad anxiety which caused him to believe he was going to be sick all the time.

The biggest help to me dealing with my phobia is actually really simple. I don't know that it would be helpful for everyone - as everyone's phobia/anxiety is at different levels. But for me, I play the "so what?" game with myself. When I become really anxious I try to ask myself "so what?" and then answer myself as well. For example, So what if I'm sick? I may v*, but so what? It will be gross, but so what? It will be unpleasant and uncomfortable - so what? I've endured worse things in life. The v* will NOT last forever. I will survive it as I always have. I will feel better, as I always have. And I will get on with my life.

Again, it can be hard to rationalize when you're in a full blown panic attack but I've learned to begin these questions as soon as I start to feel the anxiety coming on.

The other thing that has helped me a lot is to really analyze the things I'm feeling. I've learned what my anxiety symptoms are and I use them to stop the attacks. For me, dry mouth is a big one so if I feel my mouth getting dry I remind myself that is a normal anxiety symptom. Same thing with a racing heart. Once I can convince myself that I'm definitely (or very likely) just having an anxiety attack - it usually subsides. The only down side is that sometimes if my symptoms are not typical of anxiety, this can exacerbate it into an anxiety attack. But then I play the "so what?" game.