Hey, I am new to the site but I am having a panic attack and running off of nothing but adrenaline.
I told my boyfriend to not go out drinking, he went anyway and assured me everything would be fine; he promised. I made sure to tell him to stay at a friends house as even the thought of him being ill or even drunk makes me stay up all night and panic, so he agreed he would find somewhere. However as the night progressed he get so drunk that he couldn't even walk, I panicked and wanted him home and told him to get home as quickly as possible; no matter how I feel I want him to be safe.
However, as he got home he made it to my room and fell asleep. Fine. I was not going to sleep at all anyway due to him being drunk, when all of a sudden he starts vomiting everywhere (food and alcohol he has had out) I screemed and ran out of the room, grabbed my parents (thank god I still live with them!!) and I am full of crying and hyperventilating. Reliving this while writing is extremely difficult. My brother and parents feel I am overreacting (they know I have emetophobia but they still feel I can handle it). I haven't cried for half a year but now I am crying and I can't breathe, I had to shower him and clean him of said vomit (I nearly died). My room is ruined, he was sick over EVERYTHING. Everything that calms me down in times like this, everything that reminds me of home and comfort he has ruined.
We fear he may have alcohol poisining so I have to monitor him through the night, which is where I am now. I am in the hall, in a corner away from him. I can see him and hear him wretching every now and then with a bucket on my bed (which he has also ruined) and I ... I have no words. I can't breathe, even hearing him is too much for me, there is no where else to go... everyone has work in the morning... my room is ruined and I cannot even be near him.
I am on the floor, alone, crying and having a panic attack. Are there any calming techniques? I couldn't sleep even if I wanted to.