Getting married..............

[anne865]

Hi everyone,

I am emetophobic in a very bad way, it causes me to have panick attacks and things have got worse rather than better. I have had the phobia since a small child when I used to get sick a lot.

Im now getting married and 29, at the moment im so worried about getting norovirus on our wedding day.

the reason I now worry about this is because we went to a wedding earlier in the year and one of the Young bridesmaids at the wedding had norovirus, and actually vomited in front of me at the wedding. I don't like people being sick near me but it's more my fear of catching it and getting sick myself. The week of our wedding we are abroad so I'm scared to eat certain food incase I get ill or food poisoning - I don't know what to do should I cook food myself that week??

my next thing is children... I do want children but feel I'm in no fit state to be a mum when I would be worried about catching their tummy bugs. My fiancé wants them as soon as we are married but I don't know what I'm going to do about my fears?


Just oust looking for some friendly advice really......
thanks

[mdgirl1977]

does your fiancé know all this??? seems you guys need to have some talks now versus later - kids are a bigggggg deal. re noro - unlikely but why travel the week before wedding?? you can eat gently, lots of Luna bars or peanut butter sandwiches I guess.

[jumperkar1]

When are you getting married? And I think you should DEFINITELY talk to your fiancé about your emetephobia and your fears about having children asap

[anne865]

We are getting married abroad thats why we are travelling the week of our wedding. I thought i wrote that - sorry.

Yes, he is aware of my fears and one of the few people who know about it.

I am aware children are a big deal - thats why im wondering if anyone with this phobia has any advice for me on how to move on from
It??

Yes we have talked about it and he does want kids the same as me, but says if it isnt meant to be then its not the end of the world, he is leaving it more up to me and if or when i am ready for it. I am 100% ready for kids financially etc but mentally... The ONLY thing stopping me is my fear of vomitting. So morning sickness.. Then kids getting bugs etc. i want to over come it as i do want children.

And as i said my fear of vomitting is ruining the excitement for my wedding as im scared i will be ill on my wedding day.. Ridiculous!

Im getting married in 5-6months from now

[anne865]

Im not asking for advice on discussing things with my soon to be husband... Its how do i get over this fear... Hypnotist? Etc? Looking for advice on that.

[pogopig]

There's lots of things you can try. I'd say the first thing would be to talk to your doctor and ask to be referred for cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). Or you can even refer yourself to your local mental health services for CBT. There might be a long waiting list or you could get lucky and be seen quite quickly. If you get a good therapist you should make some improvements. I've had CBT and it's taken the edge off my fear but not cured me. A therapist won't make you be sick or touch sick or anything like that.

Have you heard of Thrive? Look up Thrive and emetophobia on Youtube. Loads of people claim to be cured by it. I've not tried it as I'm too cynical but I'm thinking of getting the book and giving it a go.

As far as I know nobody's been cured by hypnosis (I wish it was that easy). I think it's a long battle with this phobia - a case of constantly working on it by facing our fears, CBT and Thrive -that's my plan anyway.

[thecheesecake17]

The only thing you can do is eat plainly 24 hrs before the wedding, no risk then. It'd be crazy coincidence if you did get it...think about all the times you DO vs the times you DONT but I did hear someone mention their husband got it ON the day and they went through with it...poor Guy! That was ten years ago though...I'm sure they had a second ceremony haha.

You'll be great, don't let our stupid anxiety get in the way of YOUR happiness. At least forget it until the week before, then wash your hands like a madman and eat salads and light meats. To me that seems extra precautions!

[Leslie735]

I understand your fear, anytime I have something coming up that is going to keep me out of my house I worry about "it" happening during it. Whether that be a vacation, a family party, a fun day out with my family. I especially worry when it's far from home, like vacations. I totally get it. Like others have suggested, eat as plainly (but not so plain and little that you under eat) a day or two before the wedding so that way you won't have that worry. Just do your best to stay hydrated, keep your hands washed (but don't be obsessive about it) and try not to touch your face the days leading up the wedding. You're going to be fine and your going to have a beautiful day. Congratulations!!!

[anne865]

Thanks i really appreciate your replies!

So i have stupidly booked an afternoon tea for the hen do which is 24 hours roughly before the wedding. Im worried now that i could catch something if the chef doesnt have clean hands or has had a bug and then makes the sandwiches or touches the cake... I feel so silly typing this! Do u guys think i should go ahead with that?

I want to try the thrive book.. Is it necessary to have a coach aswell or can i do it on my own? Anyone done this??

[pogopig]

No need to feel silly, we all think exactly the same thoughts relating to this fear. Chefs are trained and well practiced in good hygiene as they could be sued and closed down if they make someone ill. You'll be fine.

I've seen Rob Kelly say on Youtube that you don't need a coach, it's all in the book. You just have to be more motivated if you do it alone. A coach would give you a bit of extra support but it's not vital.

[KaydeeJayde]

Im not asking for advice on discussing things with my soon to be husband... Its how do i get over this fear... Hypnotist? Etc? Looking for advice on that.

I'm gonna PM you, Anne

[anne865]

Thanks so much guys and kaydee.

I have just got home from my sister in laws we spent about an hour at her house chatting then she tells me she had a bug tuesday (now saturday) where she was sick etc.
Im not losing my mind again! I didnt use the toilet but my fiance went in the toilet and then he touches his face a million times (im so upset!)


Her boyfriend didnt catch it as far as i know... Dont know how i am gona stop myself from panicking!?!?

[KaydeeJayde]

Deep breaths. I always found it helpful to accept my anxiety, and then explore it. Ask yourself questions, why are you feeling anxious? What's the worst that can happen if someone does get sick? Things like that That always grounded me and allowed me to understand my phobia better.