Unbelievable xd

[Claire-]

Hi guys,

I know a while back I said I'd keep an emetophobia recovery diary and I'm sorry that I didn't keep up with this.

Today however, something happened which was completely unbelievable XD I was with my therapist in the waiting room of the hospital (long story), and this elderly lady sort of shuffles in. She looks like she's suffering from something, and obviously it crosses my mind 'What if she vomits?' (because that's just how we think). A few seconds later, she says 'I'm going to be sick' twice. Now, I'm sat about one and a half meters from this woman. I don't panic. There's a bathroom a few meters down the room and I praaaay that she makes it on time. She does. I hear her retching and gagging and vomiting, because they leave the door open. My heart was racing a little, and my throat constricted, but I didn't panic. My therapist looks at me like.... :O XD and we both get the giggles because it's so incredibly unlikely and therefore somehow hilarious. In the end we get up and leave because it was time to go anyway.

I'm not sure what the moral of the story here is. I guess just... stick at it. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. A year ago I would have FLED from that room (though admittedly I didn't have much choice since they lock you in unless a receptionist lets you out). I would not have been able to listen to loud retching about 4 meters away from me. But I did, and I LAUGHED (quietly. Not at the woman, I feel bad for her!)

I'm not cured or anything, I'm still afraid of vomit and vomiting, but I feel like I'm on the right road now Thanks for reading xxx

[Syrup]

Hilarious!!!! (not for the woman, poor thing!) Isn't it incredible the way these things happen? Just goes to show that v* is part of life. Though we hate it we have to figure out a way to deal with it. You've come so far girl!!!! Happy to hear from you (I've missed you) and THRILLED to hear your progress!!!! Remember that 'normal' people don't like the sound of v* and would tense up a bit if they were in your situation. We don't have to learn to like it (who does???) but we must learn to coexist with it.

[Claire-]

Absolutely!! I asked how my therapist felt about it once we'd stepped outside, and he said that his throat constricted and it made him feel a little nauseated, so basically what I felt was totally normal. But it absolutely does not mean that either of us would be sick, or that we're going to catch anything because of it. So you're exactly right, nobody likes to hear people vomit but they forget about it quickly afterwards because it's such a tiny part of life!

Awhh ^_^ Thank you! How have you been doing lately? Sorry I don't come on much, but when I do I can't help but read panic posts and I don't want to learn new ways to avoid vomiting

[Claire-]

Also I think in a way the experience kind of normalised vomiting for me again. Normalised it in that nobody around me freaked out. People were looking and wondering where the noise was coming from, but nobody was horrified. I didn't think the lady was horrible or disgusting (which is how I think people will view me if I vomit), I just felt bad for her. If I met her again, my only concern would be if she was feeling better now. That's quite weird for me, because I've always thought 'How on EARTH could someone be so calm about vomit, or not think that the person doing it was horrible?'.

I'm feeling quite confident about being able to cope. I gotta kick this fear's butt so I can get out there and enjoy my life :3

[Afdpt]

This is so cool! Im thrilled for you! You handled it just as any "normal" person would which is a huge step toward recovery! Keep up the good work!!

[thecheesecake17]

That's good, well done for braving it, I woulda flown away hahaha....inspiring.
Interesting too, Ive had a few moments with friends when they look a bit of colour and funny how our first thought is the worst, but so so SCARY when it does happen...and our thoughts are right, hate it so much!!

[AZCH]

Awesome! I'm so happy for you, I know you can and will kick this thing

[Jannine]

That's Amazing! You should be very proud of yourself... What an inspiration and definitely on the road to recovery as I know I wouldn't have been as brave as you were! Congratulations, keep up the Amazing work ��

[Claire-]

Awhh, thank you guys so much! ^-^