vent/panic post

[babyfairy]

today i had one of the worst days i've had in a very long time. i've not had the best past few weeks, but tonight has been the worst. i went to bed halfway expecting to wake up anxious and here i am. i take melatonin nightly for sleep (3 mg) but i still wake up in the middle of the night regardless. i took it about 3 hours ago and just woke up - and of course since i associate waking up in the middle of the night with sv*s i'm in a full blown panic, though i felt fine before the anxiety hit. now i'm a little n*, and i can't seem to calm down. it's the icing on the cake for such a terrible day.

i just hope i'm able to calm myself down. my grandma and her husband are visiting and they're a room over. my family is very understanding about my anxiety (my grandma has it too, just not emetophobia related) but it's embarrassing when people see me anxious.

typing helps me relax a little. i wish this would all just go away. i'm exhausted and i just want to rest - i cried so much earlier that my eyes are swollen and i have horrible dark circles. i hope tomorrow is better.

[paulinek]

You posted ages ago so I guess you're alright now? Anxiety in the night is always worse than during the day I think, there's the added worry of waking people up and less distractions etc. Hope you got back to sleep and have a better day today.