confused

[hollyjean]

Hi everyone


Im at uni at the moment and my boyfreind was supposed to be coming to stay with me today. I was so excited and got up early to get ready so my room would be tidy and i would look nice for him then he calls me and tells me he v* last night. He said he woke up in the night and could not sleep for about 10 mins then just v*. He said he would see how he feels and might still come, but he called me later saying he felt sick but hadent v* again (that was a few hours ago though). He doesnt know if he has a stomach bug or not, and im really worried now.


I have been just crying all day and feel so depressed now, i really miss him and this would have been our first chance to have time alone together in weeks. I dont know whats wrong with me, i just cant stop crying and its so stupid. Iv been pretty stressed this week, i live right by the fire in hertfordshire so have had all that to deal with and i spose i just needed a cuddle from him.


I dont even know why im posting this, i spose to just vent. I feel like such a b**** that i am so upset when hes the one thats sick. We are having a christmas dinner in my flat tomorrow and all my freinds are brining thier partners and i feel so sad he wont be there too.


If it is a stomach bug, it is 3 days from the last v*/d* that he remains contagious for right? I just wanted to double check. Do you know of other reasons that he would be sick, he only v* once which is quite unusual for a stomach bug right?

[californiagirl]

If it is a stomach bug, it is 3 days from the last v*/d* that he remains contagious for right? I just wanted to double check. Do you know of other reasons that he would be sick, he only v* once which is quite unusual for a stomach bug right?

I've read that that is true, about the 3-day thing. I'm sorry you're so sad [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]


Do you have a good friend or two that you can get together with, to take your mind off being sad?

[hollyjean]

Nope, they are all spending time with thier partners tonight because thier bf/gf all came to see them :'(


I actually feel anger towards him and i feel bad for this. Im always telling him about washing his hands etc, he does if hes with me because i make sure he does it, but i know for sure he doesnt normally. He works in pc world where kids touch everything all day, then he goes out to get lunch and i know for sure that he doesnt wash his hands first. Im so selfish and i really hate myself right now

[futuredr]

Even if he did wash his hands all the time etc, he could still catch something so I hope the anger you have towards him subsides. It could just be a random dietary indiscretion, i.e. he ate something that just didn't agree with him. He is probably fine now. I'm sorry you're feeling like this and I hope you feel better soon.

[hollyjean]

I just spoke to him and he hasnt been sick anymore, but came close today. Of course now im freaking out that i may have been exposed the same time as he was. I last saw him on saturday night when we went to a party, he didnt eat any food at the party and i know all hes eaten the last few days are fish and chips and bacon sandwhiches which is pretty normal for him. Im so freaking out now that iv been exposed too.

[tanyarn]

[img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]Hey Holly. Sorry you can't see your b/f because of the way you feel. I had plenty of times like these. Thyis happened to my boyfriend a couple years back but he claimed he had food poisioning. I still did not take the chance in seeing him. It might have been somethiong he ate. Maybe he ate something that did not agree with him or he might have ate something that was a little spoiled. Did you ask him if he was around anyone that might have had a s/v? I'm pretty sure if it was a bug he probably would have thrown up again. Does he have diarreah? I hope he feels better and I hope you feel better to. I'm not to sure about the contagious thing. To my understanding I thought the person was contagious even before they show signs of getting sick? Sorry I'm not really any help here. Take care

[hollyjean]

I know his brother in law was sick the other day with v* and that David went round there, but im not sure when it was, i think it was sunday night so im guessing thats when he was exposed so im hoping i will be ok since i havent seen David or any of his family since. I sound so selfish worrying about myself, but im so worried for him too, i just want him to be ok


I think the reason i feel so sad is that on sat night we had a really deep conversation about where things were going etc, we have been together nearly 4 years but after sat night i feel so much closer to him so have been missing him even more than normal. Uni is really taking its toll on me, im finding it hard with all the stress, especially this week, i can see the fuel bunker fire from my window its that close! Iv been stressing about contaminated water all week, and had a really bad headache all yesterday and last night. David says he has a bad headache also and iv been panicing because iv had this too, but im hoping mine is maybe because air pollution, you cant smell the fumes anymore but they must still be there since the bunker is still smoking.

[nicki]

hi, dont feel bad, I feel bad whenever my bf is ill and its almost exactly how u feel. I havent seen him in a month because on the day before I was due to see him a girl where he works v* and i was too scared to see him in case he was carrying it (he hadnt even been in contact with her).


I can understand why you are stressed about the fire it looks awful. Try not to worry about water contamination. When i was at uni we got flooded and iw as worried about it then, i just stocked up on mineral water and also boiled any tap water before i used it (for washing up etc) - that will take away the need for worry


how are you now

[liriodendron]

Oh my heavens.

Forgive me for saying so but I'm never going to the UK. I don't know
what's up with that place but never heard of so much V* in my life.
Does your drinking water come from a polluted surface water source?
Maybe the water system predates human civilization and is failing.
Maybe it's just a lot of people crammed into a small space. Is someone
flying overhead in a crop duster and spraying d* out the back or
something? I don't know but if I lived in the UK I don't know what the
heck I'd do with myself. I can totally see why so many UK'uns have
emetophobia.



The illnesses are not robots, it's not as cut & dried as saying it
will or won't be contagious after a certain period of time. Verious
germs are all around and can make one sick and have a different effect
than someone else. If you really are set on not getting it, if you
could ask your boyfriend to remain your boyfriend if you don't see him
for a few weeks, maybe that will do the trick.Then again, you are in
the UK and from what I gather, people are projectile V*ing out car
windows on pedestrians and there is madness everywhere. Might as well
take the chance and have one last hoorah before the diarrheacopter
flies over.

[japa]

I agree with futuredr about hoping that you won't remain angry at him. He's not at fault for having gotten sick, and as much as we, as emets, like to think we can control illnesses, this is not always true.

[hippychick]

I think thats a tad dramatic there, I don't hear of anymore illnesses here than I do of in the US, there have been countless times I've thought "Thank god I don't live in the US or Canada, they are always getting illnesses" I wouldn't say don't see him for a few weeks, give it a few more days and what not and you're good to go.

[liriodendron]

United Kingdom population: 60,441,457

United States population: 295,734,134

Canada population: about 32,000,000



Given the poplations, you gotta admit, there is a disproportionate amount of IES member reports from the UK. Dontcha think?



Then again we have Norwalk, Ohio.[img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]



If someone put a million bucks in a briefcase and stashed it behind a
toilet in an elementary school bathroom in Norwalk Ohio and then said
to me, it's there waiting for you. All you have to do is go there and
get it and it's yours....



Hmm. I don't know if I would go get the money or not.



A similar hypothetical question could be applied to this case of
whether or not to visit with boyfriend. If you were to risk a valuable
relationship by waiting a long time, would you do it just to stay
within your comfort zone?

[hollyjean]

Our relationship is no way at risk from me not seeing him. Its a few days later now and hes feeling better, he only v* the once, no d* etc. I just got home from uni for the holidays so cant wait to see him, i still feel a little nervous because i really do not want to get sick, but i really have to see him. His freind died yesterday in a car accident and hes really upset so i need to be there for him. I will be seeing him tonight, im not tooworried about it, i know im not going to get sick just by being with him, i just always feel akward if he tries to kiss me and i push him away :S I havent seen him ina whileand hes going to be horny as hell and thats what im worried about! I hate having to push him away.


I think the reason people get sick so much over here is because people in general are dirty. So many people do not wash thier hands etc and it disgusts me. Maybe people should be educated more about hygiene. We also have the whole binge drinking culture over here which is probably the cause for alot of the v* we see

[hollyjean]

Ok i worded that wrong, no way is he going to be horny after loosing his mate, hes going to be really clingy and wanting to cuddle and kiss me all night which is what scares me :S

[hippychick]

United Kingdom population: 60,441,457
United States population: 295,734,134
Canada population: about 32,000,000

Given the poplations, you gotta admit, there is a disproportionate amount of IES member reports from the UK. Dontcha think?

Not really no. I don't think you can take any numbers here as reliable fact to be honest, so many are not here and I wouldn't say is disproportionate.


HJ I would think you are safe to kiss and cuddle him as much as he needs you, I'm so sorry to hear about his friend and I hope he is ok. Edited by: hippychick

[zanana]

Holly I'm really sorry that you had to be without your boyfriend but I'm sure that he won't give you anything to catch after he v*ed once a few days ago. I think you just need to be there for him and give him the comfort he needs, just take sensible precautions, hand washing etc.
liriodendron I'm afraid I disagree with you, I'm not sure whether you're trying to imply that the UK is dirtier than America orthat its just a horrible coincedenceor what but the fact that there are a lot of UKians on the site as well as a high number of Americans doesn't mean there is more illness here. For example you mentioned Norwalk which wasn't half as prevelant here as it was in America.

[liriodendron]

I'm not suggesting anything is factual. It just seems to me like there
is a lot of sick people in the UK. V* on the sidewalk, schools with
high absenteeism, many adults becoming ill, etc etc etc etc etc. Not
only that I remember during the cruise ship outbreaks in 2001, they
said on TV that they believed there were some sick people from the UK
that boarded the ship and maybe have been the cause. I know that
doesn't mean anything either but when I hear about so many of these
things + UK = I associate the UK with sick people. I didn't mean to
offend anyone as it sounds like that was the result. My bad.

[nicki]

Im from the UK and actually thought the opposite - i was relieved im not in the USA cos there always seems to be stuff going round there!

[hippychick]

Thats what i thought but guys this is a support forum and HJ asked a very specific question and to greet that anxiety with "I'm glad I don't live in the UK it's crazy" etc etc well thats not supportive at all. Please don't make such inflammatory comments in a topic meant to reassure and help especially when they are not based in anyway on actual facts.

[hollyjean]

thank you hippychick. In the end i didnt see David tonight. I called him and he said he didnt want to see me, he said he didnt want to risk making me sick and he just wants to be alone. I feel really bad for him, hes such a state and even then hes thinking of me before himself, he really is a great guy. I feel really bad but he insisted hes ok and just wants to be alone for a while. I want to be there for him so im going to call him soon and see how he is, i dont care what time it is, if he needs me i will drive round to his.


When do you think it will be safe to return to normal, hes quite a kissy, cuddly guy and i dont want to have to push him away butI know he will feel so guilty if i got sick from him, i dont want to risk that and make him feel worse than he already is. Also if i go and get sick i wont be in any mental state to be there for him I must sound like the most selfish person in the world

[hollyjean]

im supposed to go see him in a couple of hours and im freaking out, its been about 4 days since he was sick and i dont know if im safe or not :S Any advice?

[hippychick]

I would say you are safe, if you are not comfortable with kissing then just tell him no but since it's been 4 days I'd say you are good to go

[hollyjean]

Hi, i had alot of anxiety but i went out with him tonight, we went to see narnia at the cinema. Hes really upset and not himself at all but i know he will be ok in time, i hate seeing him so sad. He did keep trying to kiss me then realising at the last second what he was doing, i did push him away at first but he did kiss me a few times but not properlly, just a peck. Even though he understands my emet, he still looks so rejected if i push him away Im not as worried now, but being a typical emet im still having the irrational thoughts.


I wish the emet would just go away, its really getting me down. Since i came off my meds i have been a little unstable, i can go a week or so and do great then something happens and i go back into emet mode again.


Thank you all so much for your imput. I must seem completely neurotic and unstable asking all these stupid questions and for reassurance all the time.

[hippychick]

Last week I had a girl over and we ordered food in. Well she got chicken which I am practically phobic of lol cos of my emet. After we had eaten a lil later (though not that long) she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't kiss her because she had JUST eaten chicken and I'm that phobic haha I felt awful and she looked so hurt, but the point of my story is everyday is really difficult and you did an amazing thing just going out with him tonight and I don't think you are neurotic or unstable honey, we all need reassurance in life. *hugs*