My many improvements with emetophobia!
Hi! I know that when certain aspects of my anxiety disorder is bugging me, I like to read success stories from other people, so I decided to share some of the successes I've had with emetophobia!
I've suffered from it since I was in second grade, so about since I was 7-8. To this day, I'm not really sure exactly what caused it, but it apparently is usually triggered by a dramatic thing happening when you're younger involving v*.
Instead of typing my whole story about it right now I'm just going to pinpoint some of my improvements, and general overview of them! And if any of you have questions about how I improved in certain things, please feel free to ask!
(Because honestly, typing my whole story would take forever!)
Okay, to start things off: eating. I have gotten so bad before that I completely refused to eat, and when my mom finally convinced me to, it was always small nibbles of saltines or toast, and if I was feeling real dangerous, maybe a french fry or two. I wouldn't eat at restaurants AT ALL!
Improvement: I've tried sushi (RAW fish), I eat everything from the spiciest Mexican food to the greasiest pizza, I eat out at restaurants without giving a second thought, and I will gladly over-indulge and not even give a worry!
Next: leaving the house. I used to NEVER leave the house. And if I did, my parents used to literally have to drag me out, kicking and screaming. It got so bad, I've had to be home-schooled TWICE in my school years, equaling a total of 5 years home-schooled. I wouldn't go to stores, DEFINITELY not restaurants, the mall, friend's houses, etc. I had the constant fear that I would v* in public, which while I was TERRIFIED of v*ing in general, the thought of doing it in public literally made me feel like I'd rather die. That's right, it got that severe.
Improvement: I've went on my first trip (and many more) out of state this year at the ripe age of 18! I've went to Michigan (and drove through Kentucky and Ohio, considering I live in Tennessee), North Carolina, and Georgia! I've went to two aquariums this year, when I had never been to one before, I attended prom with my best friends at the high school they attend (and I previously had), and easy to assume, I leave the house all the time now!
Next: school. As you've read above, I've had my fair share of school causing my anxiety to skyrocket. It stems from everything from fear that I would v* there, to someone else would v* there around me, to the general germs that come from sitting at public desks.
Improvement: I'm starting PUBLIC college in the spring to major in biology! After being home-schooled all through high school, I'm giving a fighting start back at public schooling!
Next: motion sickness. I've experienced motion sickness my entire life. Given, I've never ridden an airplane or taken a cruise, I get motion sickness pretty easily simply from car rides. That is another reason I didn't like leaving home!
Improvements: When I took my first out-of-state trip, I tried out Bonine (these motion sickness tablets) out for the first time. The reason this was a huge improvement, is that considering that was the first time trying them out, I didn't know if they'd work for me or not! I set off to Michigan (a 9-hour drive) with my friend and her mother after taking the tablet, dedicated to go whether they worked or not! Spoiler alert: they did work though, luckily! I also rode my FIRST roller coaster (actually, my first three, aha). I even ate beforehand! I must admit, eating a big waffle breakfast 30 minutes before you ride your first VIGOROUS coaster, is not a good idea, aha. Even though I took a Bonine beforehand, the first coaster still made me very n*. But guess what? I immediately rode another. I am, although, guilty of taking a break after that one though, lol. But I didn't stop! I went on to ride another coaster and another big ride that day.
Next: improvement overall - v*ing. That's right; the real deal. After going a good 6+ years without doing so, it finally happened this past May. I'll admit: I panicked BIG TIME. I dealt with awful n* for hours beforehand, and was panicking the whole time. It happened of the night when my parents were asleep, which made me feel better (I hate the thought of v*ing around others). Out of nowhere, I finally started g*ing, and well... No more explanation needed. Funny thing, is once I started g*ing, I didn't even try to prevent it. Instead of panicking and crying, my initial reaction was to grab the trash can in my room. I spent the night g*ing on and off, but I wasn't nervous anymore. Sure it sucked, but it was N O W H E R E near as bad as I've been making it out to be. I simply just sat in my room with the trash can in my lap and watching TV until I finally fell asleep. Given, the anxiety / emetophobia wasn't gone after that, I do believe that was a start!
I still have the fear, still have anxiety attacks over it, and still dread n* more than anything. BUT, I have made these and sooo many more improvements over the past decade ON MY OWN, and I just know that I will keep improving throughout the years. No, my fear isn't conquered, but neither am I; and I will continue fighting until this ridiculous fear leaves for good. And coming from someone without the slightest belief in themselves - this IS possible.
I hope this may have inspired some of you all or given you hope! Reading success stories like this always made me feel so much better! Just remember - NEVER give in to your fear; you're stronger than you think.
Sending the best of wishes and strength,
BrookeM
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