Am i cursed?..

[icicledreamz]

Idont get this..i feel like i've been cursed. I feel sick every damn day at some point .I cant get a job cuz of it,i stay home all the time almost..its seriously ruining my life and im so sick and tired of it..i know its "all in my head" cause when i do actually feel sick..i never actually v*..and it just ticks me off so much cause im missing out on so much in life cause im sitting here scared of v*!!!..it just really pisses me off...and before i found this site, i had no idea i had emetophobia..i just thought i was going mental..and pretty much everyone else thinks i still am a nutcase..i no longer have control over anything..it controlls me..sometimes i just sit and cry and pray to god for this to go away..cause i really cannot take this anymore..i cant go to a therapist, cause i dont have the money for it..i've gotten so many books for panick attacks, anxiety disorders, phobias, but none of them really work..it seems like im not going anywhere with this..you guys are the only people who actually understand me.i really feel lie i have no life at all anymore...i miss my friends..i miss myself..i dont even know who i am anymore..i keep telling myself, that i wont be sick or ill be fine..it just never works for me..ahh geezz i am just sooo mad at myselfff...why cant i just get over thisss.

[kate1966]

Honey, you aren't cursed...you have just joined the world of emet....all though in our minds it absolutely feels like a very bad curse....all i can say is that so many people feel the same way you do...you are not alone...and hopefully that will give you some kind of comfort...i know there is no real comfort...except to never V again....but just have faith and pray alot. I hope you are feeling better soon....don't give up on life though....there's alot of good things out there waiting for you to see. Take care...

[silver]

I know how frightening and awful it can be to feel like this. When I went through a particularly stressful bout after I graduated from college, I didn't leave my house or do anything for 2 weeks because I had d* so bad from the stress. It ended with a visit to the ER for fluids. I know that it was all anxiety and stress related. Even if it is "all in your head" you need help to get it out. I know that you stated that you can't afford counseling...usually there are agencies in towns that you can receive counseling for free. Anti-depressants I know have also helped several people here with the anxiety. I think that it is a vicious cycle that goes from an upseting stimuli (v* or knowing that people are sick and v*, seeing someone v*, etc.) which causes awful anxiety over v*, which then also causes depression, IBS or stomach pains, etc. It all works together to make your life miserable...It is not that we are weak, or mental, or whatever...its that you have a fear and you need some help working through it. Don't be ashamed to look in your town/city for resources. The first step is acknowledging the problem and then looking for help/solutions. You can't expect to do this on your own...it is VERY overwhelming when you are in the midst of it...I understand. Hang in there...

[nicole15]

It sounds like you're really overwhelmed. Maybe you just need to take a deep breath and decide to conquer just one thing. Don't start everyday thinking about all the things you aren't doing, instead, decide on completing something that seems a little intimidating and make it your goal to complete that in a day's time.

Doing something scary (even the littlest thing) can give you confidence and confidence has a very good way of building on itself AND if you do something like that everyday, than at the end of the week, you'll have conquered 7 scary things.

Some days this is how I deal with it.

Good luck.

[samara's on tv]

Yeah I agree with Nicole15. When I was having problems getting out of the house and doing stuff my therapist (at the time) Suggested that I do something scary or uncomfortable ANYWAY and then reward myself with something good I liked to eat, or buy myself something that I had my eye on. I know it's hard but you aren't alone, just remember that! I'm here for you and so is everyone else!


~Monica

[nicole15]

Another thing you might try doing is volunteer work - you don't even have to leave the house if you don't want to - find something on the internet. But sometimes it really helps to help other people. AND it will help to take your mind off of your fears. Is there something that you feel passionate about?

[liriodendron]

I like Nicole's ideas a lot too!

It's one thing to not be able to work or not want to work but you should be doing something fun in that time instead!



I would also recommend structuring your life a little with a regular
eating and sleeping schedule and set aside times to do certain things.
There's always *something* you can find to do and in case anxiety or
panic attacks strike and you'll always know what it is you're supposed
to be doing instead.

[*mandi*]

Ok...so you just explained my life story! Sweetie..I feel exactly the same as you do! I also thought I was a nutball until I found this site! I feel sick every single day. I find myself taking anti-emetics to make it go away or for a "quick fix" andI hate doing it. I dont go out...I miss my life! I dont even know who I am anymore! This is not the person that Im suppsoe to be! I sit and cry all night by myself praying to god to take this away! But I still wake up everyday feeling the same. I also dont have a job...I dont have money..so I cant get help either from a therapist. It really sucks. I dont really have anyone to talkto about it accept everyone on here. My family doesnt get it. My boyfriend doesnt get it. Sometimes I dont even get it! Itry telling myself "your not going ot get sick" or "its all in your head" but it just doesnt work! So I know how frustrated you are with this. Ive also bought tons of anxiety books...and I read them over and over again. Just ntohign seems to work for me!


I get so mad at myself...for letting myself get this way! I miss the old me...when I wasnt like this Iknow I havent been much of a help here...but if you need to talk im here for ya! I know exactly how you feel.

[icicledreamz]

Thank you all for your great posts, i will definatley try wat nicole was saying..i guess i was having just having a really bad day yesterday..i was just feeling like crap..cause i feel like im losing everything good i ever had..me and my boyfriend of 3 years just broke up, and i think it has sumthing do to with me not wanting to do anything anymore..he just doesnt understand..but it feels really good having people to talk to and actually understand what i am saying, cause most people i know dont understand, or dont want to..they just think im nuts, and sometimes i think i am also..but im not going to give up on this bcuz i know it is beatable..and there are many others in my situation and it gives me hopee....ahh i just wish there was no such thing as v*!!!