Brand new and terrified!!

[charshie]

Hi everyone, I'm a 19 yr old college student, and I can't BELIEVE i found
this place!! I read a ton of the posts and I feel so akin to everyone...i have
dealt with this my whole life...it's so bad, I just get petrified, well I don't
have to relate it to you guys I am sure you already know the terror we get
The worst time was when my sister had a ridiculously bad bout....I tried
to sleep in the car but i could still hear the noise, and it frightened me in
such a inescapable primal way that I ran in my pajamas a few blocks and
spent the next two night in the park. Sleeping in the grass like a
homeless person. And I was so ashamed and embarrassed at how i was
acting, but i couldn't shove it aside!!! I have tried to deal with it, and this
is why i desperately need some help now:

My boyfriend of a yr and 4 months whom i love dearly recently got an
apartment with me, and I have taken over the role of dutiful
housewife...and he was SOOOO sick all this morning, and my only
thoughts were to make sure he was comfortable and alright....my god....I
cleaned his vomit...I was shaking and crying but I did it, i just told him to
ignore me and that i was a ridiculous illogical dork But right now I am
too scared to even sleep...I was able to suck all this up for him, and now
he is comfotably laying in bed without having...had an episode...since 11
this morn. But I can't help being horrified at the thought that i might get
sick! I told him my worries but he doesn't understand at all, and I don't
want to make him feel guilty for being sick. I know it isn't his fault...my
christmas is so ruined *cries* I know this post is way too long but please
respond, i am so afraid and alone in this right now

Love,
Char

[charshie]

Can't sleep it's 2 am here and I am still freakin out bad. Washed my
hands all day like a nut but still worried...and we live in such a tiny studio
apartment, there's noplace to kinda get away from it

[futuredr]

It should be OK, just try and relax. Just be proud of how well you've done, looking after him and clearing it up. That is something to be so so proud of! I am really impressed. Be strong

[tink]

Wow Char, you have really don a great job! It seems that you have really taken control of your fear and gone forward.. You should be very proud.. Just make sure to wash your hands, a get the bathroom really clean. You should be fine.

--Kim

[charshie]

Hey, thank you guys so much for both responding!! I feel quite a bit
better...less panicky at any rate. I just hate watching the hrs tick by and
knowing that I am not *in the clear* yet. We had so many big xmas plans
and now I am just going to be too preoccupied with worry to enjoy it. But
as I said i feel much better I do feel like I really accomplished
something....it was just as simple as he needed me there, I was the only
one to take care of him, and I love him I had to do it, it's how I would
have wanted to have been treated ^_^. And yes my bathroom/sheets are
SPOTLESS I scrubbed everything no mercy The hands have been
constantly washed too We'll see....LOL i'll trust my health after Saturday
afternoon if I go that long feeling fine.

Love,
Char

[curly wurly]

Poor you Char! I think you were very brave, well done! I know how you feel about Christmas plans as last year my son caught a v* bug on 23rd december and I spent all of Christmas worrying that my daughter or myself would catch it. We didn't though and I was really annoyed with myself afterwards for wasting so much time worrying about getting ill instead of enjoying a lovely Christmas with my wonderful children. This year I am determind to fight my fear and really enjoy Christmas for the sake of my children. I hope everything goes fine for you.

[gubba]

Could it have been something that you maynot catch? It is possible that it wasn't an SV, and maybe something he ate. Either way, let me tell you that my son V*'s and has had a few SV's and I clean up the V* off the floor etc., and I have not gotten it from him. I know I will one day, but so far, I have not. Also, my husband had it and I cleaned up from him and waited on him all day in bed and I did not get it.


You will be o.k. and don't let it ruin your Christmas. My wish for all of us is that by next Christmas, we will all be free of this pain and worry and be able to love every minute of this season.


WELCOME to our group and glad you found us