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  1. #1

    Default Recovery stories? I might be getting there!

    Just a bit of an encouragement to you all as I believe I have recovered maybe 30% from emet. Don't worry, no triggers....unfortunately no stories on how I made it through an *incident* however, since new year, I have tested myself. I told myself to live emet-free. I decided to cut down on obsessive hand washing(very risky at this time!) And have told myself only to come on this site in either very bad circumstances and/or to check up on you guys whilst we battle this evil thing. And, my favourite one, for the first time in a long time, when I hear "I've thrown up"... I only allow myself to have THE fear for ten minutes tops. Then I try telling myself " Uuuh, its just someone coughing. It's not a big deal, I've got a degree to get through so come on!" Weirdly, this has helped. It truly is a mental game....

    Something pretty massive happened to me and my ex around a month ago, I was faced with proper stress. Like feeling as though I'd shot someone stress. I finished our 1 1/2 relationship all of a sudden and my stomach turned for a good week. Weirdly, the prime focus was my ex. At one point I REALLY felt like I wanted to v* when he brought a friend over and I smelt their dinner...I left the room and the panic only set in after I moved the real obstacle out the way... At that point I realised "woah, I'm actually not caring too much about my stomach...I'm focused on John" (my ex)... So I guess what I'm trying to say is fixating your FULL attention on something will most definitely HELP if you're feeling n*. I still struggle with that one but all I know is, I never came so close to v*ing in ages and I think it was the fact that I knew it was stress that made me calm, as I knew I could control it with enough willpower....As soon as I broke up with him I knew I had to get home(2 hours from my city)...The first few days were bad. I refused to finish meals. But with a nice attitude from my amazing parents, I was tricked into eating ALOT more... They took me to a real nice store as they had won vouchers and we were allowed a good £100 worth of food. They told me to chose a ton of my favourite meals and though I felt hopeless and pointless as I had no appetite, I chose away. They cooked me the most awesome food for a full week and gradually I found myself eating three meals again..they also told me to join them for a film everynight and a walk in the evening...which was very very relaxing. I stayed for over a fortnight with this pattern and I can happily say, even after eating the spiciest, riskiest(one night we had chicken and it looked pink!) And delicious food, I have gained a good five/six pounds. I have barely had any n* or even acid reflux or stomach pain. I started sleeping without thinking "what if someone's sick tonight!!" And managed to get a good eight hours in everynight. Maybe a miracle has happened or maybe my body is thanking me for feeding it properly....this is just a little heads up for you guys, you may go through this paradise yourselves one day. Unfortunately, my anxiety has kicked back in since I've been back at Uni. Started last night, I was on a walk with my friend through the city and felt what I now know was hunger...but, cos I'm so used to eating every 2/3 hours...I left it four hours and suddenly went hot from panic...I thought about all the people who have been sick recently and told my friend "I might have the bug, must go home! Is that OK?"... Sadly emet won that time. Turns out I was completely fine when I got home. Oh well.

    Furthermore, as the title of this post reads. This phobia lives off anxiety. Like I know v* is the worst thing to death but I think what I've noticed is that n* has turned into our worst nightmare as we are scared of the outcome... I try and think of it like buying lottery tickets every fortnight. There's some people I know who run down to the local shop to buy a good 21 tickets every weekend.. They've been doing it for 10 years straight. Only once have they won £10. That's pretty much the majority of us on here.... Everyday we fear "it", hoping it won't happen although we put so much time and effort and even money into the 'fear' an the 'thrill'...when for most of us, we haven't even v* for a good amount of time. So next time you're scared or even n*, try thinking of the lottery couple....who knows, they may win £5 but that's honestly not worth the spending of a decade!

    I hope you guys have some recovery stories too as I'd love to hear some

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Location
    Pennsylvania, USA
    Posts
    556

    Default Re: Recovery stories? I might be getting there!

    Hey Cheesecake, I understand your stories all too well. Its strange how we can let this fear overtake our minds/bodies and let it defeat us. That is why I feel so strong about doing something soooooooooo small to overcome our emetophobia.

    I'm always telling people on here to take their mind off of it* and do something else, watch a funny movie, listen to music, go outside for a walk, whatever that will help take your attention of of it*. Some days I get so busy at work or focused on something else and I really don't have time to think about v*. I think our mind can be torture devices sometimes if we have all this extra free time to think. lol Well at least in my case. I come up with some strange things being an emet. Some days are worse than others. I may be busy at work and *it still lerks through my mind or if someone will be or is s*.

    I'm a HUGE advocate of exercising. I swear it helps and I encourage everyone to exercise. There are days where I will come home from work be in a panic and just want to curl up in a ball / cry / not be bothered by anybody, but instead I go running outside and take my frustrations and panic to the pavement. I can't let this phobia defeat me. Trust me, there are days where it does, but I think I am getting better about it. My eating habits have tremendously improved.

    Again I feel little steps make way for big improvement. For example, you can't set a goal like "lose 150 pounds by next year" its not realistic. What is more realistic is "lose 10 pounds in a month" or "have 1 more serving of vegetables daily". I think its the same way with being emet we can't just be like "I'm getting rid of this phobia tomorrow!" Everything takes time. xx

    "Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future." - JFK


    "All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." - Charles Schulz

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,921

    Default Re: Recovery stories? I might be getting there!

    Thats great news for you cheescake. I hope you have many more success stories. I too have experienced high and lows with my long emet journey. It has been a huge part of my life for over 40 years and at my longest I probably went approx 15 years with little or no drama. I had the pleasure of having my daughter and together with a full social life that seemed to take all my focus. Thats not to say I didnt have the odd blip but compared to how I am know and how I was previously to this period it was heaven.

    Keep doing whatever you are doing and if things get tough again spend some time at your parents for a much needed boost. All the best.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Recovery stories? I might be getting there!

    Congrats! The progress you have made is great! I am also on a recovery path and am a LOT better than I was. I completely agree with the exercise statement, that helps my day to day anxiety a ton. But, it has to be heart-pumping type exercise. Being in nature is also helpful, as are guided relaxations. Keep up the good work and things will keep improving! There are certainly setbacks from time to time but if you keep focused on the end goal I believe it will happen.

 

 

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