New here, first post! Looking for relate-able experiences

[courtneybd]

Hi, this is my first post here! I've recently joined because I am constantly looking for reassurance that I'm not crazy/losing my mind and hope to find some relate-able experiences.

I'm a 23 year old female and have been terrified of v**** since about 8th grade. Not really sure why it started so randomly...never had a bad experience with it. My anxiety started that year for about 2 years or so and then sort of went away. During my first 3 years of high school I was still afraid of v**** but it did not affect my every day life. It wasn't until my senior year that things went horribly. Again, I did not have a bad experience with it...it just kind of occurred randomly. Anyway, long story short, i did not end up going to college for the fear of being around others who might get sick/i didn't want to be sick away from home.
Fast forward a couple years, and things have gotten worse. My stomach hurts CONSTANTLY. Therefore I am constantly cancelling plans/calling out of work/staying home. I've been trying everything to ease my mind and stomach- yoga, eating healthy, chiropractic care, calming tea, chewing ginger... nothing is working! doctors say they don't think anything is wrong medically and then just prescribe more anti-depressants. I don't know what to do. I am miserable and truly feel like I am missing out on life.

I realize this post is kind of sporadic/doesn't include too much detail but I just wanted to get something out there for my first post.
thanks for listening!
may you all find peace of mind

[SophieFoxman]

Hi Courtney!

Let me just start off by saying that there are so much people on here that are extremely supportive. I'm 22 now, and I used to have an account here when I was 16 years old. I thought this whole time that I got over the fear because I wasn't really nauseous, until around a month ago when I witnessed my sister getting sick. I started realizing that it was possible for me to get sick as well, so now I'm back here lol. It's not a bad thing I don't think, maybe I just need to recuperate myself again.

Anyways, I do the exact same things as you to try to mute out the constant battle with nausea... Drink ginger tea, chew on ginger, eat healthy, but sometimes nothing helps, not because something is severely wrong with my stomach, but I believe it's due to my anxiety levels. I strongly believe that if you and I weren't emetophobics, we wouldn't even be nauseous half the time, and it wouldn't feel so intense either because we wouldn't be over-thinking it, or revolved around fear.

It truly breaks my heart to hear that you feel miserable because I know exactly how you feel, and it really takes a tow on life altogether. It's not like other fears where you can escape it, but this is something from within.
my family knows just how serious my emetophobia is, and how bad it can get, and my father always tells me that I'm robbing myself of life. Lately it's gotten so bad to the point where I cannot eat after 2PM. Not even a bite of a cracker. I eat one meal a day because it's the only way I can fool myself that I have nothing to throw up. It gives me peace of mind, but I know for a fact that it isn't healthy at all. It feels sad that I can't enjoy dinner (my favorite meal) with my fiancé or family.

I would give 10 years of my life to rid emetophobia out of everyone's lives. It's really an awful thing to live with, but we're not alone, and there is gonna come a day where we have to face it. It's very frightening, but it's sad to live with this for the rest of our lives as well. Some nights when I'm so nauseous, I can feel my spirit being drained of energy and will-power of trying to hold it in. It really does get tiring.
This place is a safe-zone and hopefully your anxiety won't get the best of you. I hope you meet awesome people on here and conquer emet. I wish you the best! ��

[thecheesecake17]

I'm with the two of you and find it very eerie how at this age(I'm almost 23!) we seem to really struggle with emet.. Something which I'm wondering is do you both feel as though pressure is gonna be dropped on us in (what society suggests) a few years cos of kids etc? I feel as though I'm under pressure to control my emet since I've been in a relationship, not just cos my OH gets sick quite ALOT but cos a few of my friends are settling down, getting married already and having kids and my mum keeps saying 'please get over this silly fear cos when I was pregnant with you I had sickness for three months' Fab. Great. Cannot wait.
Ageing makes me wanna cry cos there's sooooo much pressure ...

Anyway, I think it's anxiety too, most of the time. When I felt like I wanted to v* the other day, as much as I was determined not to let it happen, I decided that once the wave was over, I'd fixate on what was going on around me....I happened to be at a bar with some friends and breathed many times to calm myself. My heart rate finally went down and I was just left with the horrible flipped stomach...and it actually made the whole moment ten times better. I faked panicking as I usually would and the whole experience was ALOT worse..
We should really not fixate on any n* until we know its gonna happen and trust me, peppermint is way better than ginger...ginger MAKES me feel bloated haha. Hope you're OK.

[courtneybd]

Thanks so much for responding- as heartbreaking as others' stories are, it is comforting to know that we are not alone! Support is huge- I feel like nobody except other emetephobes quite understand, so I am so incredibly grateful that this place exits!
We can all get through this together, I am hopeful! xox

[courtneybd]

First, thank you for responding! I totally relate with the pressure of being an emet at this age! I flip back and forth on the idea of having kids and the main reason of not wanting to have them is because of morning sickness/when they would get sick. It's awful! I feel horrible since my long-term boyfriend LOVES kids and wants to have a large family. I also somewhat feel like a burden to my boyfriend since I am constantly complaining to him that I don't feel well/cancelling plans with him. God, he puts up with so much. It makes me feel terrible.

But yes, I agree, that I think a lot of it is anxiety. Its a viscous cycle. Stomach ache- anxiety- worse stomach ache- worsening anxiety.
I will definitely try out the peppermint! I chew peppermint gum like its my job- but I will look for a more natural supplement.
Again, thanks for reaching out xox

[SophieFoxman]

I'm with the two of you and find it very eerie how at this age(I'm almost 23!) we seem to really struggle with emet.. Something which I'm wondering is do you both feel as though pressure is gonna be dropped on us in (what society suggests) a few years cos of kids etc? I feel as though I'm under pressure to control my emet since I've been in a relationship, not just cos my OH gets sick quite ALOT but cos a few of my friends are settling down, getting married already and having kids and my mum keeps saying 'please get over this silly fear cos when I was pregnant with you I had sickness for three months' Fab. Great. Cannot wait.
Ageing makes me wanna cry cos there's sooooo much pressure ...

Anyway, I think it's anxiety too, most of the time. When I felt like I wanted to v* the other day, as much as I was determined not to let it happen, I decided that once the wave was over, I'd fixate on what was going on around me....I happened to be at a bar with some friends and breathed many times to calm myself. My heart rate finally went down and I was just left with the horrible flipped stomach...and it actually made the whole moment ten times better. I faked panicking as I usually would and the whole experience was ALOT worse..
We should really not fixate on any n* until we know its gonna happen and trust me, peppermint is way better than ginger...ginger MAKES me feel bloated haha. Hope you're OK.

Gosh, I know exactly what you're saying... My fiancé and I want kids, but there's always that fear of getting sick during pregnancy, but ultimately what if our child gets sick and I'm not 'mom' enough to be there for them because of this stupid fear?
I really hope that this doesn't last forever though. I think we deserve to live life worry-free!

[ibdynamic1]

Don't worry your not going crazy I'm 33 years old and have been living with this since maybe 3rd grade? I wouldn't go out to eat since I threw up at a restaurant when I was in Kindergarten..to this day I feel a little uneasy going to restaurants I like to be familiar with the place and know where the exit and bathroom are..
I do take anti anxiety prescribed pills as needed..always have mints...tea.. Peppermint oil on hand...a new menthol spray that helps me w feeling anxious..
One hugggggeeeee fear of mine is airplanes ( I was on a plane once and a nun v** almost next to me it was awful) so now I'm worried if I feel sick I can't sto the plane... I will say I made a trip to California from Pennsylvania with success and my whole trip to Cali was amazing and not sick at all (my Bf also got back from a 9 month military deployment so it was amazing)
I also have constant worry and my stomach always seems to be upset but I do believe it's because my senses are heightened when I feel a little weird..so glad I found this site makes me feel a little bit better.

[courtneybd]

Yes, this is all so relate-able! I am constantly checking out public places for the nearest exit/bathroom. I too am terrified of flying. I never had a bad experience but just the thought of being somewhere without an escape just in case I or someone else gets sick is so nerve racking. I'm glad to hear you had a good trip, though!
Thank you so much for responding, I appreciate it
xoxo

[sCe12]

You guys, I am 100% with you all! This has plagued me for years and I'm so sick of it robbing me of the joys of life. Last winter I literally didn't leave the house for weeks at a time. I waste hours researching disinfectants and the transmission of norovirus/rotavirus. It's really stupid but I can't help it. I'm back on a low-dose anti-anxiety med which has helped (I've only had one panic attack this winter), but I still obsess over it. And the previous post mentioning barely eating because you don't want to have anything to throw up? YUP! I've been doing that for a while now and I actually ended up underweight and my doctor was nervous. Only problem now is that I'm pregnant and I absolutely can't be underweight or not eat enough.
For those of you ladies worried about pregnancy, I can only speak from my experiences... I was pregnant two years ago and I'm in the second trimester of my second pregnancy now, and for me, it sucked, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Thank God, I didn't actually v* (are we not supposed to type out the word on here? I can't find any rules but I noticed that nobody ever writes out the word), but I was definitely nauseous 24/7 for pretty much the whole first trimester. Some people don't feel sick at all. Some people constantly v*. But it's 100% worth it to have a miniature human that loves you more than anything! And, if you ARE really bad, there are medications that your OB can prescribe to make you feel better! So try not to worry about that!