11 year record broken at last

[lilyann]

I hope this doesn't bum everyone out, but I broke my 11 year v* free record two nights ago on Christmas Eve and I am so relieved. I resolved myself a month ago that I wanted to overcome this phobia after suffering the past 25 years, even if I had to open myself up to v* if I felt sick again. I thought since it had been so long that I had turned off that part of my brain and had become a freak of nature. I've been thinking of my husband as "v*" ever since he got sick last month and haven't been able to stop thinking of him this way. I'm 4 1/2 months pregnant and guess the "morning sickness" finally got to me with all of the different foods, all of the stinky scented candles my mom was burning, being pregnant, and wanting to get over my emet. I had a long talk with my cousin about my emet and was happy to know she remembered I had this phobia. She gave me a lot of reassurance and told me v* is not that bad, just to think of it as food. After this talk, I felt s* while we were opening presents but got over it. Then on the 1/2 car ride home started feeling it again. Soon as I got in the door that was it. I v* several times and it was great!! It was nowhere near as scary as I was anticipating these last 11 years and was actually exciting to know that my body does still work. Afterward, the thoughts about my husband dissipated and I'm no longer angry with him for v* last month. I feel so much better knowing there is hope for me yet!!

[crimgoddess]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!


It is AWESOME that you were able to give in, and be fine afterwards. It's not that scary once you actually do it, isn't it?


I went through a stretch when I was scared to vomit (now my fear rests with other people vomitting- which I really dont get)- but then one day got really sick and just let it happen. At that point it had been a few years and I was like ... "this is IT?!"


Good for you! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


*amber*

[gubba]

I guess I should say good for you, but it scares me a little. Are you still worried about V* or are you over it now? Does it scare you to think that you might V* in the grocery, mall or in the car or is that over? Are you worried that you may get an SV or do you care?


If you are over this EMET thing, I am so happy for you. I did V* from Kidney stones 5 years ago and I was glad that i could still V*, but still scared stiff about the next time and where I would be or if I knew someone was with an SV I would run still

[liriodendron]

Yeah, not to burst any bubbles but not knowing when or if you will come
down with a long lasting spell of it is the big problem around here I
think.

What do you think about being confronted with that and if you were in
close contact with someone who was very sick and v* repeatedly?

[samara's on tv]

Good for you, although I don't think I'm OPEN to V*ing...I try everything in my power NOT to do it. I haven't done it in about 5 years *Knock on wood* but I don't think I'd be very open to it. The past few times I've gotten N* I've just curled up and held back. But if this helps you get over your fear then that's GREAT!


~Monica

[angel13]

Well done, lilyann...there is a strange, twisted part of me after reading your post that wants to go and do it right now! XD lol....perhaps not. But I really do congratulate you on plucking up the courage!


v* is usually over within seconds. I don't think it's the actual act that I'm so scared of...it's more the feeling sick and sense of impending doom, knowingthat it's going to happen. So its the lead up that gets me. I'd like to v* without feeling sick, that would be so much better!

[lilyann]

Yes, I am still scared about when it could happen again. That was in fact my biggest fear abouttrying to letgo of my emet. For a whole month after I decided I wanted to try to let go of it, I felt sick all the time and wondered if it could just happen anywhere. I did not remember what n* felt like and was afraid I wouldn't know how to recognize it. I think this was just a first step toward normalizing the whole thing. I was happy to know that: a) I hadn't suppressed my ability to v* for so long making it no longer possible, b) I could recognize true n* when I felt it, c) that it wasn't as bad as I spent the last 11 years working it up to be, d) it helped ease my negative feelings toward my husband for v* a month ago, and most importantly, e) my husband was happy for me and didn't think of me as disgusting, gross, etc. etc. like I had imagined. Right now I'm not worried about being around sick people because I spent the last month after I resolved myself that I wanted to overcome this by purposely trying everything I could to be around sick people and try to catch something, as weird as it sounds. I am still worried aboutbeing around sick people but I am also curious about how I would handle it. The night I v* and the night after, my husband kept saying he felt sick and I was like, bring it on, let's go, I want to watch!! But I think that really freaked him out and he never did v*. I had a theory that whenever my son caught a sv and my husband then caught it that some of it was just a sympathetic reaction. I think now that I could be right. Anyway, what I'mmore scared of right now isof my emet getting as bad as it was for the past month after myson and husband had thatsv. I have never been that anxiousand havenever had such obsessive thoughts in my life and I don't want tobe there again. It was pure hell! And it is unhealthy for me being pregnant. I want to be able to take care of my son andmy baby when they are sick and v* and I am determinedto overcome this, whatever it takes. I feel that, for me, in order to be around others who v*, I have to have the experiences too. Since I had not v* in 11 years, I just couldn't understand others who did it. Hope this makes sense!! And I hope I can keep moving forward......