Sort of New and Having a Really Hard Time

[Devonie]

Good morning, first I want to say I appreciate all of you. I've been watching/reading this sit from afar for years, but unfortunately social anxiety gets the best of me and it's really hard to even post in an online forum. My fears started in 1998 when I was pregnant and got very ill. An ultrasound showed my son's brain was 80% liquid (hydrocephaly) and growing at a large rate, pushing up against my internal organs. I was flown to another hospital and needless to say he did not make it. So, in my head, I associate v* with dying and it's very traumatic. That was the last time I was ill with v*.

I've been faced with my biggest challenge yet the last two days. For the sake of brevity, my fiance's mom has been in the hospital and he has been out of town at the hospital with his family. He came home Sunday night. Monday evening we "spent some time together" wink wink, and then had pizza around 6. Within two hour he was v* and consistently v* and d* throughout the night until about 7 am Tuesday. I was taking him water, towels, a pillow, etc., but was never anywhere close when he would v*. He slept on the bed and the bathroom floor, and spent yesterday on the couch. I washed all the bedding in hot water, and cleaned the entire bathroom around 10:00 Tuesday morning wearing rubber gloves (he was really clean, and understands my fears about this) with SoftScrub with bleach. I wash my hands about every 10 minutes if not more. I've been taking promethazine every 4-5 hours since Monday. I've had nothing but ginger ale, tea, one cup of coffee and three bites of Cream of Wheat yesterday. He thinks it was food poisoning because by late Tuesday morning he was able to drink two bottles of Gatorade, a bottle of water, and a ginger ale; he was eating soup by Tuesday night; says he feels completely fine today; and because it was so quick. But, I do the timelines in my head and if it was a burger he ate Saturday, Monday would be a serious stretch for that. So I'm feeling trapped. I've been sitting and also sleeping in my chair by my computer, I'm scared to touch anything, even though I've cleaned it, and if I do I wash my hands - which are now a mess because I've legitimately gone through an entire container of hand soap and part of another one since Monday evening. I'm scared to eat, I'm scared to leave the house, I'm scared to touch him or anything he touches - so, yeah, basically I am losing my mind. I've long seen how supportive and amazing you all are, and didn't know if anyone had any words of wisdom. I sincerely believe you all are the only ones that understand the terror I am dealing with right now. Thank you so much!

[Colleen01]

Very well could be food poisoning. Did you both eat the same food ?

[Devonie]

Hi Colleen, thank you. We both ate the same food Monday. On Sunday evening we ate the same thing for dinner except he had cheese. Before ~5 pm Sunday night, he had been out of town most of the last ten days. Thank you again for responding!

[maeflower]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I know how scary and exhausting it can be. As long as your hands are washed thoroughly (don't forget to rinse well) before handling food and/or touching your face, you should be fine. Do you have any moisturising cream for your hands? Do try to eat, and definitely drink something. Hunger and dehydration will also cause nausea. This all will be a distant memory before you know it.

[Devonie]

Thank you, Maeflower. I've been super diligent about washing my hands. I had part of a piece of bread earlier and I washed my hands before I touched the package, and again after I touched the package again to close it before I ate. It's so bad right now that in one 5-minute span I may wash them 5-6 times during the process of whatever I am doing. Luckily, there is a bottle of lotion handy. Meanwhile, he is drinking coffee and eating bowls of oatmeal, and still hungry looking for more food. I am really glad he is feeling so much better, it hit him instantly and seemed to go away just as fast.
I wish in my head I could set a time limit when I can stop worrying so much and relax, but for me that feels like it's going to be two weeks or longer. I really appreciate your kind words and support, thank you so much!

[anxiousemma]

Hello,

I'm afraid I don't have any insights to offer, but I wanted to say that I'm really sorry to hear about your experience in 1998 - that must have been so traumatic for you. I hope that you are okay, and manage to get through this horrible period of time ok! It sounds like you coped with your fiance being ill pretty well. Sometimes food poisoning can take a long time to set in - I know there's one website I came across (can't remember the name now, sorry) that had estimated effect times for each type of bacteria and the kind of food it is normally found in. Hopefully it was just that! Or hopefully if it's noro you have avoided it. Sending best wishes.

[Devonie]

Thank you for your kind reply, and your well wishes. I seem to still be okay, although I did sleep an hour for every hour I was awake on Tuesday, which I never do. I may have already seen that site (I feel as though I've read and re-read so many the last few days). I keep doing math in my head to see if I feel like I can be safe, and I'm trying to eat a bowl of cream of wheat right now. I did have some n* this morning, but I'm going to attribute that to the conversation I had with my boss advising me that my job was just done away with in state budget cuts. This week just keeps getting better! I hope I am okay now for eating because if bad things happen, I may just completely lose it. I'm sorry for that little rant, I really appreciate you and your kind words so much!

[SarahJillian912]

I am so sorry that happened to you! And I am hoping that you're feeling better. I know your pain because I am currently going through my daughter just getting over the sv*. She seems to be fine today and wants to eat while I am having full blown anxiety attacks and scared to death!