Running from a loved one

[Jess44246]

I'm sure we all have either expirienced or feared experiencing a loved one v-ing when you are the only one who can help, yet all you can think about and all you can do is run like h3ll? Well, I've had an expirience like this, but with no actual v involved. I'll be brief... My mother and I were eating pizza sometime last summer, and she started choking on it. Instead of helping her, I had to run upstairs and lock myself away (and cry and panic and shake and so on). When she finally got the pizza to finish it's path down her throat, she scolded me as if I were a child who had just watched a beloved elderly die when I could have easily stopped it. It's a truly horrible feeling. She'll never understand what I face. I'll never be able to help. I hope most of you can relate to me!

[Bunnyjess]

I can definitely relate! When we were younger both my sisters coughed and choked on their food and I was up and running in my room in seconds. With any phobia we have a fight or flight response where our brains automatically tell us to run away as this stimuli could jeopardise our survival. Your mum needs to understand that with phobias the body has automatic responses without thinking. Maybe show your mum this forum or some info about emetophobia. I did the same for my mum so she could understand that it is a real phobia that lots of people have to deal with.

[Dr.EmTim]

YES!!! My boyfriend one had an incident where he got sick and I walked away very quickly, leaving him alone. Lol I kinda felt bad but he was okay.

[Jess44246]

Thank you both for sharing your stories! I'd really to hear as many as I can!

[Jess44246]

I know, she should understand. She knows I have this fear, but she doesn't know how bad it is. It's extremely difficult for somebody who isn't afraid of "such a simple, natural, sometimes comical thing" to understand what emetophobics face. I'm her only child, so I've always had to be her "perfect child" and will until one of us leaves this earth. For example, I once sprained my ankle but she refused to get medical attention because I couldn't possibly be hurt. So I limped around with no crutches for three weeks. Now if I stand or move around for too long I will begin to feel a tiny (compared to the sprain) pain where my ankle never properly healed. She doesn't have to understand, but I just wish she would.

[Katlin]

My husband has pretty severe acid reflux and always forgets to take something for it before bed. He will wake up coughing and choking from it and occasionally v* if it gets really bad. Last night, he started choking out of nowhere, and I kicked him (physically kicked!) him out of the bed. I was dead asleep and have no memory of it. I feel terrible he stubbed his toe pretty badly on the nightstand. I hate that this happens to me. Any suggestions on this? I've never slept through it before and usually have to go sleep on the couch after one of his episodes, I know it makes him feel really bad.

[emet-ana]

Yes.

My younger brother has a small airway and cleft palate. He had breathing and swallowing problems when he was little. He used to choke terribly and go blue as a baby and little boy (I'm 4 years older) and I would hide under my bed and let my Mum and older brother deal with it. I think his choking may have triggered my Emet, which only fully started when I was 7.

More recently I used to hide when my Gran (who lives with my parents) choked (several times and severely) however in the last year or two I've started to face chokes and wack people on the back when it happens.

When someone really chokes it can be life or death so if there is any possible way you can stay in the room, get the person to lean over and hit them on the back firmly then it is important to do so. If not then you need to get on the phone and call for help if things get bad. It is a horrible, horrible phobia and sometimes it seems impossible not to run but in that instance it's very important to call for help so that your loved one doesn't choke to death too.

If your Mum is still upset about the choking incident then it's a good idea to educate her about Emetophobia. The condition is more complex than a simple phobia and is very similar to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Have you had any treatment for the condition?

[Jess44246]

Katlin,

You should talk to him about how important it is that he gets this under control and how effects you. If presented with the opportunity while awake, I would hurt somebody if that was what it took to save myself from a situation where somebody around me had a good chance of v-ing. Good luck! Keep me posted!

[Jess44246]

Ana,

That sounds awful! Did you hide at first to keep safe from him or because you were afraid something would happen to him? Its fine if you dont remember.

Mother doesn't know how severe it is, and I'd hate to have her know. I've got to be her perfect child, being the only one, no matter my age! She doesn't know how much it limits me to have this extreme phobia, but I don't think she ever will. Three people (two of my four closest friends and one teacher) know and remember how severe it is.

To help myself with the fear, I have my own program that I developed for myself. I make sentence or paragraph long short stories, from first person point of view, using slang terms for v and making them as graphic as I can handle at the moment. I read them out loud several times, and go back to them over time. What do you do?