Avoided it. Feel guilty.

[metric4]

I'm upset with myself. I had stomach cramps yesterday, made it through work, had no appetite. I tried to pepto bismol to see if that would help the cramping. I was nervous on the drive home about becoming s*. My sister texted me she was feeling the same. That confirmed in my head we both have a bug (my niece/her daughter had a v* bug last week).
Relieved to have made it home okay, I had a bath which helps me relax and feel better. My sister texted me that she did end up v*. That's when I decided to take a Gravol and a zofran even tho I didn't particularly feel n*, just cramping (but this is also how my last v* bug began - just lots of uncomfortable cramping and then g*ing).
I think I definitley do have some bug because I've been tired, waking up every 20-30 mins through the night, muscle aches, sweating, and recently starting diarrhea.
What I feel upset about is I probably should have v* had I not taken all precautions to avoid it. I could have done it and seen its not so bad and taken a step towards recovery. Now I'm stuck continuing to be scared of it and the unknown factors of it.
I know that's strange that I'm upset I stopped a possible v*. I avoided v* with another similar bug in November by using pepto, Gravol and zofran. I feel like I can't/shouldn't outrun it forever (even tho a lot of discussion here says it's not necessary to v* and it's okay to suppress it).

Anyway. There's my rant. I feel ashamed and cowardly. No one enjoys being s* but man I wish I didn't have emet

[j.florence]

Don't feel badly. I read time after time on her about people being sick and making it all worse. The way for you to get better is stay strong and do what you need to in order to avoid it. You're doing exactly what we are all doing. And that's okay! I hope you feel better really soon.

[Sparkles13]

I've heard the same as j.forence. I've read they no longer include *v in exposure hierarchies for treatment because it can be almost traumatizing. please don't feel guilty and I hope you feel better soon. Thank heavens for zofran!

[Jess44246]

V*ing yourself is NOT an instant cure. It could make you even worse, actually. Even though your mind is now seeing that nothing bad actually happened, it's just getting your panic fired up. You'd a whole lot more panicky for days, most likely. If anything in those days were to happen, it would make you worse in the long run. V is NOT an instant cure!