Public = anxiety

[Jess44246]

Hello everyone,
I was just wondering if you'd be willing to share details about the anxiety you feel in public. Specifically: where, when, with whom, and how often. I'm sure many of us would really appreciate it!

Always, when I'm somewhere in public with more than one person around me, I feel anxiety. The places that get me the most are health places, restaurants, theme parks, exercise places, and wherever there's more than one alcoholic drink per person per night.

[CMM811]

Funny thing is I don't really get anxious in public unless I know tons of people have it. I live in a tiny town where everyone knows everyone, so people talk. But I also work in this town as a bartender/server and I do love my job. We have indoor and outdoor seating which is nice and it's not really a kid restaurant though we get a couple every now and then. But they also mainly sit outside because we are all mom and pop restaurants the pizza place two doors down or the bar next door will deliver food to appease the kids. We are more of a upscale restaurant salmon, tuna, ceviche type place. I've seen people really drunk and while it can be nerve racking it's also my job not to serve them. Only time I get a tad anxious in public places is Christmas shopping (for obvious reasons everyone is rude and it's so crowded) and concerts sporting events stuff like that but I suck it up and deal with it because I love that kind of stuff! I have a goal to go to EDC one year if they would not have it in June in VEGAS! It's too frickin hot but I want to experience it! Planes make me anxious but I take a Valium and pass out. I even volunteer in my kids elementary schools, and while it's always in the back of my mind I've volunteered in the school for the past 6 years and have only seen it happen once. I know it's happened way more times than that though. I just tell myself I can do it and even if it sucks for a bit eventually I relax and go with the flow.

[chicajojobe]

I get a little nervous at health places which is ironic since I work across the street from a hospital, and regularly cross the skywalk to go the restaurants in said hospital!

I don't get nervous at bars. I've been to several with my drunk friends, and been drunk myself and never had a problem. I also don't get nervous at concerts. I've even been to heavy metal festivals where I passed several puddles of you know what on my way out to the parking lot...no one did IT in the shelter, though.

I do get nervous at theme parks. Also on buses, because I'm most likely to get motion sick on a bus than any other vehicle.

Gyms don't bother me because real life isn't The Biggest Loser, and people rarely exercise to the point of puking and passing out at their local Planet Fitness. I do get nervous at marathons, though, because those people actually do exercise to that point!

[Jess44246]

Although it does not matter because I already am training for my career, there are certain jobs I'll never be able to have. Bartender at a place with more drunk idiots and less people having a good time, unlike CMM's, if definetly out. As for chica going to a concert with v puddles around, I could never do that. Once, at a craft show, a young girl (although I was young at the time, she was younger) was v on the sidewalk with her mother pushing her away from the people. It really freaked me out, and my parents grabbed me and we hurried to a different part of the fest. I never came within 50 feet of the v girl and the three puddles she made. Now, as for exercise, I mean places with intense exercise, not the local gym, lol. I mean like running marathons or running a track meet on a full stomach. One year I was forced to join track at school (but I just threw metal balls called shotputs), and thankfully nobody overworked themselves THAT hard after stuffing their nasty little faces in the disgusting locker room. Buses and planes because of others being sick and that causing me to be sick too (i dont get motion sickness). Amusement parks because of me an others on rides. And if I know im going somewhere that there's a good chance that somebody will v, then I'll starve besides very light foods the day before,

[chicajojobe]

Jess,

Well I didn't exactly plan on it! I passed it on the path out to the parking lot as I was leaving. I was actually impressed that people were conscientious enough to leave the venue when they felt sick considering there was a 99.99% chance all of those v* incidents were caused by alcohol.

I actually had an incident like the craft show recently at a friend's wedding. The 2 year old flower girl v*ed in the garden. I didn't see it, but my friend did. It made me really nervous about disease, because, no way was it alcohol related, but apparently one of my group saw her mom in the bathroom, asked after what happened, and it turned out she choked on a piece of bread. Which made sense because I saw the kid running around the wedding the rest of the night perfectly happy and energetic as if nothing happened...so it really didn’t seem like she was sick.

You mention restricting your food out of fear of being somewhere someone might v*. I'd really encourage you to try to work on not worrying about that so much. I've done that before, and, trust me, it's no way to live. Plus it doesn't even work. I've been to amusement parks, on boats, to bars and nightclubs, hospitals, parties where my friends got really drunk....and no one got sick at any of them. The one time it happened right in front of me was a way that could never have been predicted. One day after work I was walking to my car, and this guy just randomly threw up on the sidewalk...by the looks of him, he was probably coming down from some kind of drug, but I was just walking down the street in broad daylight in early afternoon. I'd never seen him before, and it was total coincidence that we were in the same place.

[tiredofitall]

Public places don't generally make me anxious unless I already feel sick before getting there. Planes make me very anxious for two reasons -I feel trapped and take off makes my head feel funny. As long as I'm feeling good then I'm not anxious in most situations.

[Jess44246]

tiredofitall, next time you're on a plane, chew gum or taffy during take off and landing. It really helps! The trapped in public part is all with the Emetophobia, and that leads to many what-if thoughts in my head. My mother does it because it makes her head stuffy and her ears plugged.

chica, of course it wasn't planned. Things like that just sort of, well, happen. I'm also sure it was all just alcohol and nothing to worry about (but I would have a panic attack anyways because my Emetophobia counters all logic i these situations). With the girl at the wedding, be glad you didn't see it. If you did, but couldn't tell she was choking, you'd be a lot more worried about it! It's so fascinating how little kids recover so quick from a v episode. I've been working on eating freely. Tonight, my mother made slightly undercooked burgers, and I ate two (two because I had just swam for 1.5 hours and I hadn't eaten anything since lunch) after she said that they were completely safe. It's a shame how random v incidents seem to happen like that... I've been there. We've just got to keep fighting and pushin through!

[blueridge212]

Hmm. My anxiety in public usually isn't so much about other people, unless there are lots of little kids (but I'm rarely around big groups of little kids anyway). A lot of that is probably desensitization from work, where I'm around literally thousands of people all the time in an enclosed area, sharing bathrooms, etc. But anywhere I feel "trapped," like away from easily accessible exits, those make me nervous. Concerts scare me because I'm usually in the middle of a huge crowd with no way of getting out quickly. Hell, sometimes I even get nervous in walmart for that reason. And I can't even tie it down exactly to my emetophobia, I really think it's just general anxiety for me. I feel the calmest when I'm outside and alone, so if I start to panic for any reason my goal is usually to get somewhere outside and private. Not always the easiest thing in the world to accomplish.

[Jess44246]

blueridge, first of all, Walmart is scary in it's own lol! Informal concerts and on-stage events worry me too, and I always try to get at the aisle so I can just spring right out the back of the auditorium if somebody v's in there. A crowded store gets me too. Always remember to clean up very well after public outings such as a trip to the store. I wish I could be desensitized to crowded in a minimally stressful way! Nice going wit work! I, too, feel calmest alone. If I start to panic because somebody else may be or is v'ing, then I get the hell out and go where I'm alone. If that's outside with fresh air, an added bonus. If not, then it's fine, as long as it's away from the sick person.

[chicajojobe]

Oh dear God, Walmart!

As you can probably tell I've made strides in overcoming the fear of being in public due to emet, but Walmart is my version of hell! I've encountered v* so much at Walmart. Kids v*ing in the carts, adults v*ing in the parking lot, random puddles on shelves...yes shelves! The worst was when some chick ran into the bathroom stall next to the one I was already in and started v*ing. Apparently Walmart doesn't just make hispter types like me sick!

And, yeah, I'm also an aisle seat type no matter where I am. I like to have an escape route just as a safety net.

[chicajojobe]

tiredofitall, next time you're on a plane, chew gum or taffy during take off and landing. It really helps! The trapped in public part is all with the Emetophobia, and that leads to many what-if thoughts in my head. My mother does it because it makes her head stuffy and her ears plugged.

chica, of course it wasn't planned. Things like that just sort of, well, happen. I'm also sure it was all just alcohol and nothing to worry about (but I would have a panic attack anyways because my Emetophobia counters all logic i these situations). With the girl at the wedding, be glad you didn't see it. If you did, but couldn't tell she was choking, you'd be a lot more worried about it! It's so fascinating how little kids recover so quick from a v episode. I've been working on eating freely. Tonight, my mother made slightly undercooked burgers, and I ate two (two because I had just swam for 1.5 hours and I hadn't eaten anything since lunch) after she said that they were completely safe. It's a shame how random v incidents seem to happen like that... I've been there. We've just got to keep fighting and pushin through!

Oh, I was definitely worried about the girl at the wedding even with what her mother said. I just did acknowledge that, logically, she wasn't acting like she was sick.
Also it was 4 weeks ago, so it's easy to be calm about it now that I know I'm in the clear!

Glad to hear you're working on it. It's all we can do. I may seem very calm with emet but it's still a struggle. Especially during work meetings because v*ing in a quiet room in front of all my colleagues would be so embarrasing!

[Jess44246]

chica, thanks for that! I agree - it's easier well after it happens to stay calm about it. Then, your logical brain is working! Now, has anyone ever v at work before?

[chicajojobe]

chica, thanks for that! I agree - it's easier well after it happens to stay calm about it. Then, your logical brain is working! Now, has anyone ever v at work before?

Not any specific instance that I know of. Maybe in the bathroom.

Not in a meeting, though, but that really doesn't help me. I start feeling an panic attack coming on, or my stomach hurts a little and I start thinking it's going to happen to me.

[Jess44246]

Well, it's good that that hasn't happened. It amazing how much we worry over things that are unlikely.