Relapse from Childhood

[Thejefu]

Hello everyone

I've never openly discussed this on a forum before, but seemingly out of the blue I've returned to a mental state I was in from when I was maybe 16.

I had a period in my teens where I would dread night time and lay in bed shaking, fearful of the onset of nausea. I'd simultaneously watch TV, read or play video games to avoid the sensations of my own body. I'd be in a constant state of panic with no discernible way of calming down. During the day I was generally happy but mindful of what I ate and somewhat aggrophobic of being trapped in places where I might be unwell. It slowly eased off, completely leaving me into my early 20s. I think I had an episode of being unwell which actually brought me great relief, which helped.

I'm now 28 and seemingly in a month I've landed straight back where I was out of the blue. I had avery long relationship end before Christmas and a truly terrifying episode with a girl I dated shortly after who put me under quite severe stress. I developed quite severe hypochondria shortly after and then one night I felt very unwell due to alcohol. I've been a mess since. On a nightly basis im getting myself close to the point of no return purely through anxiety and thought.

Im now suffering from insufferable night anxiety and in public. Work and home are no problem. Even did a night shift n felt great.

I've sought out countless videos and books but nothing seems to be breaking through to me and I'm continuing to have the most uncomfortable time of my life. I'm a very sensible and rational person these days and I can see through and rationalise everything wrong, I just can't be free of this hypersensitivity and its eviscerating my gut and my weight. That feeling of being just cresting the top of a rollercoaster is something I can't seem to shift and it sits there until I pass out.

Really appreciate anyone's experiences, advice or thoughts on my situation.

Thanks

[Jess44246]

Hello. Not sure how this forum got buried, but I found it.

I know how you're feeling now. My Emetophobia is very severe, so I go through this too (and not just me). Emetophobia is this cruel punishment that I have for no reason whatsoever. I've always been emetophobic, and it gets exponentially worse as I age. I am now in my teens. I have panic attacks often (I recently made it 14 days without one... woah). And panic attacks aside, I panic 24/7. I have no idea why Emetophobia could come back to you after being rid of it 8 years, but I do know what you're suffering though now. I also use tv, books, and video games as a distraction from my 24/7 anxiety and whenever I'm feeling n. It really does help to focus your breathing and distract your mind. I know it may seem silly now, being 28, but you should do the same thing now. That'll keep your mind off it enough and just give you some sort of break from this cruel anxiety. Hope it helps! Keep me posted!