Hey everyone, just to apologize ahead of time this may be trigger but I do not use full words. Today I have been feeling really off, I woke up at 5 this morning for work with a with a belly ache but it was just gas. I felt fine once I woke up and got moving and I had a nice cup of coffee with a breakfast got pocket (I have eaten them several times). A co-worker at the same thing at the same time and ironicly we both felt a bubble in our belly and had to use the bathroom...normal, no d*. I had to use the bathroom again later that day, softer than previous but not even close to d*..but my belly felt as if there was a slight burning..it would come and go but wheb it was present it was aweful and it made me feel as if I was going to have d*. I just took my phenergran and went on about my day and even washes my carpets with my new carpet cleaner and snacked on a Mounds chocolate bar because I felt hungry/n* but not really an appetite. I know my body pretty well and I know when I have a gurgle noise in my left rib/back I will have d* but it normally has me down and locked in my room for a few hours and then I am good and nibbling on my safe foods. I did have a more "solid" d* not like a water constinstancy but looser than regular before I felt that urge I got this cold sweat and shaking and n* in my throat! I have now calmed down and my head feels funny from the after math of that anxiety attack..basically what it comes down to is that this has happened before..not that first and it will not be the last but of course I have that hovering doom sitting on both shoulders just telling me I will v*. You guys, I am ready to get better and be normal...I feel as if I am STARVING but then I get that familiar gurgle that screams "I control you, you cannot eat, you will be miserable and nothing you do will ever help you" we are supposes to be above our fears..I ask myself what is it that I am actually afraid of? It will not kill me and besides I am not even afraid of death. I am not sure I will ever understand..right now I just need some clarity and postive thoughts because I am feeling real bad and you all know exactly what this is like.