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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    1

    Exclamation fear of others being sick

    Just joined after reading lots of forum posts. Wow, so amazed that I am not the 'only one'... I am in my mid 20's and have suffered from this since I was about 5 or 6. my stepdad was an alcoholic and got sick a lot as i was growing up. I -think- that is where this all stems from.. not too sure. I do not have a fear of myself getting sick, although when I feel it my anxiety goes through the roof. My fear is others getting sick. And worst off, its mainly -men- getting sick. I do not really have an issue with women getting sick... weird i know. This is one of the reasons my past marriage fell apart (it was also an abusive marriage). that's how severe it is. I am calling a counseling center tomorrow to schedule my first visit. very nervous since I've read a lot about exposure therapy, and man my heart races just thinking about someone making me go through that.
    maybe I will start another thread about all my issues with emet, just as a discussion/support for myself and others.
    but my issue right now is that tomorrow my boyfriend and I and our friends (a couple) are going to a concert. I'm so scared that my boyfriend and his friend will drink, and we will have to drive 2 hours home and what if they get sick... ugh. this emet has caused me to miss out on SO much in my life, and I miss having fun. I am forcing myself to do this but my anxiety is soo bad.

    does anyone have any coping mechanisms or advice for my trip tomorrow? I will update all and let you know how it went. At this point, I am looking at any reason to cancel. I hate that this fear makes me miss out on life.

    **also, anyone else here suffer from the fear of just - others - getting sick?? I saw a couple people comment on threads about it, would like to get together a discussion based just on this. I heard this part of emet is extremely rare...**

    looking forward to hearing back from people who actually understand this. <3

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,060

    Default Re: fear of others being sick

    My fear is mainly of others getting sick too. I used to be equally afraid of myself getting sick but have mostly worked my way through that. The thing with others is a bit harder for me to get past.

    I understand the anxiety of being afraid the people you're with will drink and get sick because it's in the back of my mind whenever I'm in a similar situation. Although, if I drink myself it decreases that anxiety a lot. Being DD is hard for me.

    My fear is much worse when I think about someone being sick in any mode of transportation (where I can't easily get away) so I'm usually most concerned about the car ride. What I do during that time is just figure out how long the ride is and then focus on that. So if someone was sick in the vehicle I know "Ok it's only a 30 minute drive. That's not so long it only FEELS long because you're afraid." Then I focus on the time, "Ok now it's just 15 more minutes, this moment is not going to last forever and you'll be home safe soon." Stuff like that.

    In addition I also just keep reminding myself, "You are safe!" Even though your body reacts as if you're in some kind of serious danger you just have to keep your brain focused on the fact that you're not actually in danger at all. I just keep reminding myself that I'm safe, I'm going to survive, and I'll be home soon.

    Hope that helps!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    44

    Default Re: fear of others being sick

    I also have a fear of others getting sick along with a fear of myself getting sick. However the fear of others has generally been way worse because other people are unpredictable and I know my own body well. I'm much better now but like everything used to freak me out. Liking being around drunk people, public bathrooms, airplanes. I also was super afraid of transportation because you are so trapped.

    However I think treatment for fear of others getting sick is actually a lot easier than if the fear applies to yourself. Finding a therapist who can help you is a great first step. I really recommend finding a cognitive behavioral therapist. Also exposure therapy is actually super super helpful and not nearly as scary as what you think it is. It basically starts really slowly and allows you to gradually get over your fear. It starts with words and then it works up to cartoons and then pictures of people sitting near toilets and goes like really slowly from there.

    Personally, I actually did it by myself online, which is super not recommended, but for me it really worked. I also have found medication to be super helpful. I am still working through this fear, but it has gotten so so much better in the past year. Now I really can live my life without freaking out every day all the time!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,060

    Default Re: fear of others being sick

    I agree - my fear with others being sick is that it's unpredictable. I can analyze my own symptoms and have pretty good control over them. I know exactly how I'm feeling. However, with others I have no control. If they want to vomit on the floor of the bus, in my car, etc there really is nothing I can do about it. That's been my biggest struggle with overcoming that fear.

    I've also done my own exposure therapy by watching videos on youtube. It's helped me reach the point where seeing someone vomit on TV/movies doesn't bother me anymore and even seeing someone get sick in person has gotten better as long as I'm a distance from them and can get away if needed. I struggle the most with the possibility of someone being sick close to me and in a place where I can't get away which is why public transportation, especially air travel is such a struggle still.

 

 

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