Feel like a failure!

[spice]

Hi Guys. Just felt I needed to share my feeling of
failure with someone who might understand. My
boyfriend and I are supposed to be going to a big
conference on Saturday to do with our self-employed
business. The only thing is that we are going on a
coach with some other people. We don't reeally
know the other people yet and its about a 2 hour
journey. I don't get travel sick but I'm so scared of the
journey with a lot of strangers that I don't want to go.
My boyfriend thinks it would be good for our
business if we go. Now I don't know what to do. I
really, really don't want to go, but I don't want to let
him down either .

[trickyvicky]

Well spice i can fully understnad how u feel as u are probably getting yourself worked up about many issues,like letting your boyfriend down and yourself,being on a coach for 2 hours and worrying about the phobia side of things.........But i really think u should try and go because if u let this phobia rule your life now it will get worse and worse....2 yrs ago i had the most servere pannic attck and it was so bad that i became agrophobic,i think what i'm trying to say is don't let this beat u as i did give in and stayed at home and each day just got harder and harder......U need to right down the things that are worrying u and give yourself a comfort zone,like take mints to suck on,a personal stereo to listen to and if u enjoy reading take a book.I know some people find it hard to read while traveling but i always found that i would get lost in the story and the time would pass.If u wanted to be safe and take something u could take sturgeon which is a travel sickness tablet,i know u say u don't get sick but sometimes it's just that little bit of reassurance...And u are going to be ok as u will be with your partner,he will look after u.....Not that u will need it because u will be fine......For some people two hours is not long but it is for us when we suffer with fears attached to out phobia......I really hope u go as i'm sure once u have done it, u will feel so proud of yourself and i'm sure your partner will be greatful to u for even trying.....u could always sit at the front of the coach which would be better....And just tell yourself that u have done it before and it's been fine!!!!!!!


I hope this helps and look forward to your post after u have been


vicky

[jlockyer]

Hi Spice


I agree with Vicky but if it really is too difficult could you perhaps make your own way to the conference just with your boyfriend? I know in these type of circumstances I always make some excuse as to why I can't travel with the others and then just drive myself or get myself there in some other way. Alternatively perhaps you could get yourself some anit-emetic pills just to make yourself feel more secure?





Hope things turn out well.


Jane

[sage]

I think you should do whatever you feel comfortable with and don't get pressured by anyone. Lots of my life I avoided traveling on buses and planes for this very reason. Sometimes I drove my own car, sometimes I just wouldn't go, but I never ever got on a bus! (If you think you can, and will be ok - go for it by all means!) The other thing I tried was a tranquilizer like Ativan (lorazepam?) from my doctor and that really did the trick, although I was basically asleep the whole time so that's a drawback.


Maybe workout with your boyfriend the real goal behind going to the conference, and see if there's any way you can contribute to the goal by some means other than this.

[Jenneh]

mm i agree with sage, but i also agree with vicky...


if u get to this conference, and find u were absolutely FINE, u wil be so proud of urself. and next time, it might become easier to get on a coach for a 2 hour ride! i just think, if u CAN fight this phobia, i WOULD. if u really dont feel up to it right now, dont pressurise urself or beat urself up about it. thers no point doing smthing that cud make u worse if ur not ready to do it.


Jen xxxxx

[siafi]

Oh, I can completely sympathize with you because I used to be TERRIFIED of riding on busses. Here's what has helped my deal with it: First; unlike riding a school bus or something with a lot of unpredictable little kids, you will be riding with a bunch of adults who will likely be a lot more in control of a situation where they might have to v*. As these people are capable of running their own business, I'd bet they'reable tohandle their bodies!! [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]Second; usually travelling coaches are very spacious and comfortable. The thing that makes me nervous is when the bus is totally packed - but usually for things like this they reserve more than one bus if there are enough people so it won't be crowded. Maybe you could check how many people will be riding with you and that will put your mind at ease. Think of the ride as a time to relax with your boyfriend and maybe have a nice chat!