Feeling like an awful person and mother

[SusanMichelle]

Hi everyone. I'm brand new here. I searched this site last night while desperate. I've spent the last 24 hours taking care of my 2 yr old with the stomach flu. While I hid my anxiety pretty well from her, I was still an emotional wreck on the inside. To make it worse I'm just about 12 weeks pregnant. I feel as if all my stress and anxiety has hurt the baby. My heart rate would sky rocket and I could just feel all the stress in my body. Also I hardly ate yesterday. I love my daughter so much but I just hardly wanted to be near her. I feel like a horrible mother. I hate that this phobia had to be a part of my life. I even told my husband last night that I would have to stop at 2 children because of it. That doesn't make him very happy. Again I just feel horrible and need some support because not everyone understands this phobia and how much it can affect my/our lives.
Also, any advice on how to prevent me from getting it in the next few days??
Thanks in advance.

[Dolly1469]

Make sure you keep your hands clean. Disinfect the bathrooms with bleach and try to isloate her to using one bathroom if possible. I know it's also hard to not think about but try to focus and keep busy doing other things.

[ScaredSavvy]

Look into drinking copious amounts of organic concord grape juice to avoid the stomach bug. Definitely worth considering! I was skeptical until it worked for me. Just a simple suggestion. Good luck!

[Marnie]

Hi SusanMichelle,

I'm new here too. There's a bug going around my office and I'm having the same panic you are. I want to validate that this phobia can absolutely affect every aspect of a person's life. For me personally, it has made me agoraphobic as well, I don't drink, I don't go out, I won't have children, I'm OCD about hand-washing, what food I eat, anything around being sick, and I don't have a lot of people in my life because of all these things. "Normal" people just don't understand how devastating this phobia is. It's one thing to be afraid of heights (great! Just avoid them), but it's quite another to be afraid of your own body. Can't really go about avoiding that. So yeah, it absolutely affects my life in crippling ways that most people just don't get.

I also want to say that I don't even know you and I know you're not a bad mom. While you did convey some of your own anxiety, the majority of your post was about your daughter and your baby. There's one thing that having a phobia doesn't affect, and that's the core of your being, who you are, your character. It may be harder for you to be there for your daughter when she's sick, it may be impossible! But having this phobia is not your choice, and I'm sure you're there for her in a million other ways.

I hope you're feeling better, emotionally and physically

-Marnie