Scared out of my mind..

[valleymist]

It's time like these that you people have no idea how much I appreciate
this site
This is really bad, I just am at the point where I am breathing somewhat
normal and I can type which is more than I can say for a few minutes ago.
I think the worst of this panic attack is over.

My emetophobia, fear of vomiting... omg.. so close!! .. it was bad..

The worst part is, I don't know if it was for real, if I had to face this thing
head on for real. You have no idea what that was like for me. I can't stop
crying right now. These panic attacks are horrible, I was doing so well,
why this?

It's 3:40am in the morning, woke my dad up, he was half a sleep, yelled
and shut the door on my face because I was crying. What was I suppose
to do? I'm the only one in the house besides him right now and NO ONE is
on msn. I'm scared to call my mom after what my dad just did. I have five
siblings and now what good are they that I can't call them?

This must seem so stupid to you guys, but I swear just writing through
this is really helping. I don't care who reads it, I am just scared out of my
mind.

Who the heck do you go to for something liket his? I have nver felt so
alone than to go through something liket his. If you've ever had a panic
attack before you'll know what thsi is all about. I can't think rationally, I
feel like the world is over, start breathing fast, feel light headed, start
shaking profusely and then be so lucky so as to have a place like this to
go to and then it passes.... *breath* it's starting to pass.

Does this mean that urg to vomit that I woke up with 20 minutes ago was
not real? Or is it just going to come back?

I hate night time, this is when the phobia hits me the worst, I feel so
alone.

I'm just thinking over my day, I ate a chicken sandwich at about 10:30am
- you hear so many bad things about chicken, this could have set it off
tonight. I also remember eating apple crisp at about 3:30pm, it was from
the weekend. Is that bad? Could any of these two concerns cause
someone to get sick? Or is it just in the head? (I'm kinda hoping you'll say
that last one) I can't even believe I'm hoping this is all in the head. This
phobia is messed up. Please tell me it's all in the head!

I'm scared..Edited by: valleymist

[angel13]

We're here for ya valleymist! (by the way, beautiful username! ^_^ )


Night time panic attacks are THE WORST, I've been there so many times!You need to keep telling yourself that it is only a panic attack, you've had them before and just like all the other times, this one will pass.


Are you still online? You can chat to me on msn if you like, I'll be here for a while - [email protected] =)

[kylie_0607]

valleymist I know exactly how you feel. I hate nightimes too as it is when I have been s* the most. I hate waking up and feeling like that it really scares me. But as angel said the feeling is teh same and last time you didn't v* so why should you this time. Hope your feeling better now.

[suze]

If you started to feel better from typing the message then it's just the panic attack - if you were going to v* then you wouldn't be starting to feel better. Night times are dfeinitely the worst, especially when you wake suddenly - sometimes I can feel panic but don't know if I'm awake or dreaming, it's really scary.


Sorry your father wasn't supportive. Hope you find what you need here. Are you feeling better by the way?

[valleymist]

Thank you so much for your support guys. I'm not even sure how much
my post above made sense lol

I've had panic attacks at night, but nothing like this one. It felt so real, I
really thought I was going to do it this time. I sat by the toilet thinking
"Okay here goes, this is it" then I just started crying more. I had my bottle
of water I kept drinking back the feeling the whole time. I felt so
hopeless.

I officially pulled an all nighter, had my shower at 5am. It is now 6:30am
and I'm drinking peppermint tea to keep myself calm. I'm still a little
nervous as always, thinking it might have been something I ate and that
this might not be over yet. I'm sure it's in my head, I hate how this phobia
just messes things up.

I have to go to school this morning which will be hard. On top of things
I'm half asleep (I tried to go back to bed, but after that scare, it wasn't
going to happen), being tired makes me more nervous. So I'm not sure
how today will go. Again, I thank you for helping me through this. It's
nice to know I have a place to go to when this happens.

thanks angel, for the compliment on my username

[suze]

Try and remember, if you are really close to the v* stage, then the thought of raising that bottle of water to your mouth would be enough to set the whole process in motion, from what I can remember anyway.


Have a good day, accept it will be tough and you're going to feel rough without sleep anyway. Rough doesn't equate to v* though, OK? If you're nervous about going to school, then the adrenaline will keep you alert. Try and get an early night though tonight so you can recover fully. Take care.

[valleymist]

Try and remember, if you are really close to the v* stage,
then the thought of raising that bottle of water to your mouth would be
enough to set the whole process in motion, from what I can remember
anyway.

Thanks, but what did you mean by that? Raising the bottle of water to my
mouth could cause me to v*? Just wondering.

[suze]

Oh, sorry didn't mean to alarm you...what i meant is that the last time i v*, if someone had said to me, take a sip of water, i just couldn't have done it, the thought of putting anything near my mouth made the nausea worse.
I use this is my test now, when I think I feel nauseous. If I can sip on something, then I know I don't feel as bad as I think.


Basically, if you can drink your water, despite feeling ill, then you're not about to v* - well in my experience anyway. Does that make sense? Sorry if I worried you!

[valleymist]

Don't worry, I'm fine now that you cleared that up! lol Kind of put my mind
at ease because I was able to get through a whole bottle of water last night.

I am so sleepy, this day is just going to drag on, I can see it.

[angel13]

Glad all's ok now valleymist, it sounds like it wasjust a bad case of anxiety! ^_^ I've never pulled an allnighter because of it before, but I've certainly been up through the early hours of the morning, just pacing and sipping water, like you. You might feel a little shaken up still, but don't worry about it. Try to erase it from your mind - if you're going to school,just distract yourself from thinking too much about it. Catch up with some friends, have a bit of a laugh - you'll feel much more at ease, even if you're dead tired Everyone has sleepless nights every so often, for one reason or another.


You'll be fine. I think you just need some good rest now!I bet you'll sleeptonight ^_^