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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Posts
    22

    Default It finally happened!

    By "happened" I mean that I was in close proximity to someone who was sick and didn't get sick myself.

    I moved in with my boyfriend almost two years ago, and from the day we started living together, I was almost doing a mental countdown of the inevitable of when he'd get sick and what we would do or how I would handle it. Well, that time came a few weeks ago.

    He knows about my phobia and our plan was (as wasteful as it seems) that if he were to ever be sick, he'd get a room at the hotel next door and stay there while he was v-ing. Well, though it did happen, it didn't happen in time. He called me on his way home from work one day and told me how unwell he felt and that he thought there was a chance he might get sick. He also said he had a really bad headache, and living where we do with weather patterns, migraines are a common thing around there, so we both figured there was a good chance that's what was going on. I was nervous, but not totally panicked, slightly comforted at the thought that it was just migraine nausea. He took a nap, and when he woke up said he felt a bit better. The rest of the night went relatively well, and I thought we were out of the woods. He went to go take a bath around 10pm or so, and so I went into our bedroom and watched some Youtube videos with headphones in. He came to the bedroom door brushing his teeth and said, "Sorry...." I knew immediately that he'd been sick, even though I didn't hear anything. I then went into full panic mode. Our bedroom is at the back of our condo, and we only have one bathroom. Needless to say, I felt trapped in the steel cage that comes along with being around someone who's sick. That night, he slept in our office and I willed myself not to need the bathroom. I kept the fan on high and earplugs in all night so that I wouldn't hear anything. I didn't.

    The next morning, I stuffed my fingers in my ears and rushed out of the condo, planning to use the bathroom connected to the gym in our condo. Well, lucky me, the code we have for the bathroom wasn't working. So here I was, panicking because I needed to use the washroom so bad, knowing my only option was to go back into the condo and use the one my boyfriend had been sick in. When I came back, I saw him sitting up in the office and asked how he was. He said he was ok, that he hadn't been sick all night, but was once that morning. Knowing me well, he'd sprayed the bathroom down with bleach after he'd been sick in it so in my panic, that'd have to suffice in using the bathroom. I used it alright, and it was spotless so that helped. He let me know he'd booked himself into the hotel next door but couldn't check in until 1pm. At around 10am, he was sick again, but I stayed in our bedroom with my headphones in. Once he left, I cleaned everything - and I mean EVERYTHING - with bleach. I sprayed every inch of that bathroom and every handle in the place so much I'm surprised they didn't melt. The irony of it is, he was only sick once in the hotel after he left. Most of it was at home.

    I was panicked this whole time he had a stomach bug and was just waiting to get sick myself, but I didn't. It turns out that what he had was probably food poisoning from eating lunch eat that had been open in the fridge for a good three weeks (silly boy) and that gave me a slight relief, but since then, I've only just recently started to feel comfortable in my surroundings at home again. My bathroom feels like my safe zone once again, and nothing in the place feels like a threat anymore. I had the luxury of him being able to go next door and I feel really lucky that way, but also guilty that he had to. Do any of you ever feel that way, totally guilty that you can't take care of the people you love because of your phobia?

    I'm proud of myself for not doing anything *too* irrational during the whole ordeal and willing myself to use the bathroom in the middle of it all. I lived through it. I wasn't sure I would there for a bit, but I did.

    Thanks for listening <3

  2. #2

    Default Re: It finally happened!

    Good for you! And trust me I would totally act the same way ( though I have to get a boyfriend first! ) I would probably feel guilty and disappointed in myself

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Posts
    22

    Default Re: It finally happened!

    Thanks chazz <3 I should have posted this in the Triumphs section but I appreciate your reply anyway!

 

 

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