GF has problem with Website

[jenny.preston]

Hi,


So have any of you experienced your partners having problems with the website? My GF says that when I come on my phobia is being fueled and that it is only teaching me to embrace it and not fight it. I was talking about one of the posts with her this morning and she thought that what the person said was stupid and she nevere would have "let" me do the same thing.


What should I do/tell her about how this site helps me relate to others who are like me?


Jenny

[babygap5]

Have her read some of the posts. Show her this site and let her experience it for herself. It might not change her opinion, but at least you've shown her all the benefits you get from it. This has been a posted topic several times, and the bottom line is, if you get a benefit from it, than continue. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. At some point, you might feel comfortable enough where you don't come on as much as you used to. Just do whatever makes you feel better.

[hippychick]

I've have been here since 2002, during that time I have gone from agoraphobic who couldn't leave the house or eat to someone who eats what she likes and goes where she likes. I visit this site everyday and I don't think it's a bad thing at all, without it I would have felt terrible. There are some negative aspects such as picking up bad habits or thoughts I might not have but at the same time it has taught me to filter this stuff out, the support here is like no other. If it helps you being here and relating and recieveing support then just tell her that. What I always say to people is that I'm trying my very best to get over this phobia in anyway that I can and the information from people here is so useful and supportive I would be lost without it.


xxxxxx

[suze]

My partner did touch on the fact that this site might keep the phobia 'alive', but I've always had this phobia (well, off and on I guess) but have only been on the site a couple of months. During this time I think I've actually felt better rather than worse. In fact, one of the things I like to do more than anything else is to support others; this alone makes me feel that I'm coping with my own fears. It might not make much sense, but that's how it seems to me. And the times when I've needed the site becuase I have my own problems, the support has been amazing and helps me get through the crisis or at least makes me think about things in a more rational way, and one which isn't fuelled by my emet.


Tell your GF that this site is not just about getting support, but giving it too - isn't that a good thing?

[chicajojobe]

It depends. I know there have been other people here who stop coming to
this site because they find it is making their phobia worse.



It can fuel phobia for some, but for a lot of emets it helps to know you aren't alone.

[californiagirl]

Here's my input: I think you have to do whats best for YOU. A supportive partner should want for you whats best for you. If people feel that comimg onto this site is detrimental to them, then I notice that they stay aaway for a while. BUT, when we need support, it's great that we can come here and get it. Being an emet is not a choice of ours, because if we COULD choose whether to have it or not, we'd choose not to. Just explain to her that when you/all of ushavethis mental disorder (sorry??), we can't help being "trapped" in our fear, and need the immense support from this forum. Also, when we write here venting and/or seeking advice on OT topics, I've noticed that we find out that there are truly great people here, and they're our friends, a support system for each other. Do you think she would understand it in these terms and try to see it through your eyes?? I hope the best for you [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[wing]

My mom doesn't want me coming here either but of course I'm not listening. ;]She wont listen so there's no way to explain it to her. It does help though. ^^ Sorry, I dont have much advice.

[thestruggle]

Californiagirl is right, being an emet is not a choice. I don't ever remember when I was 8 yrs old making a choice to live the rest of my life in fear and sickness. Emetophobia is an illness. The only people that will ever understand how you feel and what you deal with everyday are other emets. As much as I love my family and as much as they love and support me, I know that they will never understand what I go through. They will never experience how real my illness is in the way that I do.People are going to take away different things from this site depending onwhat level they are at withemet.Those of us who have suffered from emet for awhile know that there are times to pick and choose between the hard truth andwell meaning hope. Different people need to hear different things. I try not to post things that willgive peoplenew ideas for avoidance behavior. I try not to give people ways to avoid v*. Because I know that in the long run it's not going to help them get better. But, I understand whypeople ask for help in doing these things and why people try togive advice to try and helpthem do it.Honestly, most of the info that isposted on this site is very good. Those that use that info in a negative wayare doing so becausetheir in that stage of this illness. They are going to use anything and everything they can that will bring them comfort. I'm not so sure you canblame this site for that.

[chloe]

Some people have mentioned in posts that although this site is supportive it can make the fear worse by "giving you ideas" or making you think about it more.


For me personally I found great strength in the support on offer here and that I am forced to face my phobia by talking about it on here. If I am having a "strong" day but someone else has posted to say they are paniking I try my best to help them - as others have helped me when I've been panking.


I feel that your best bet is to tell your girlfriend that the site has offered you so much support and that you feel that you are facing your fear by talking about it with others. I really hope she understands.

[ham_crisp]

I used to be like that. I'd come on the site randomly now and then. And I'd find that for the week or so after doing so I was terrible. I was constantly thinking myself ill and not wanting to go out until the dreaded happened.

But recently I came back. cos I didn't know what to do...when my mum got ill
And since I've been back I've not wanted to stop coming. OK so I do read some of the posts and wish I hadnt cos I then realise there's something else that I do thats related and I do it more. But all in all I love this site.

I always used to feel guilty only coming here when I needed help, somehow selfish, which I think is part of the reason I forced myself to stay.

xxx.

[samara's on tv]

Yes like CalifoniaGirl said, Emet is NOT a choice! My parents would like me to believe that it is but they are wrong. No one WANTS to be an Emet! Your GF should be able to support your desicions, and realize that sometimes being with a group of people with the same problem can be more supportive then just therapy alone...you need to talk to people who understand what you are going through. It's easier to discuss a problem with someone who has the same problem. That's why there are places like AA (Alcoholics Anonomous) <~~~I know I spelled that wrong! LoL!


~Monica

[jay_rough]

It can't be true. You know that when I first discovered I had emet, I got an adrenaline rush and panic attack when someone near me hurled, not because I thoughtI was going to breath it in and become sick, but... it was just scary somehow. Now, after studying it,and watching / listening to it happeningfor 2.1 years, I've learnt a lot, even with scary facts that I will not mention, I'm getting over it.


The other day, I felt really sick, numb feelings in the hands and feet, really bad cramps in the stomach and gut, my throat felt weird and I couldn't taste anything. It was getting worse by the minute. I thought I was going to hurl for sure, but somehow didn't need to make myself act calm this time, I sort of thought "I've seen how it happens, it lasts XXXX minutes, I know what to expect, every single second I know what will be happening"

I wasn't panicking for once. I do if it's late at night


But if it's during the day with other people around, especially my gf, who knows what I'm talking about, it's not so bad.


-Jay