I'm new here!

[kateology]

Hello! My name is Kate, I'm a 20 year old female from New York. I've been emetophobic since I was 6 years old, and I've only just came out and told my parents and my old therapist right before I turned 19. In my world, emetophobia is incredibly embarrassing. I've met many people who don't judge me and try their best to help, but there are others that haven't been so kind. In school I was relentlessly teased because I had daily panic attacks about being ill, and the ridicule got so bad that I dropped out of high school. I feel hopeless. I feel like my entire childhood, adolescence, and my young adulthood has been ripped away from me. I've spent my entire life being afraid, avoiding everything, punishing myself through self harm and at one point abusing substances to numb my pain. I've been to rehab and to countless programs to try and "fix" myself, but nothing has worked. I'm currently going through a treatment called EMDR and I have very little faith. Sorry for this long, boring intro. I just feel like I can be 100% open here. Please feel free to introduce yourselves to me, let's talk. I could use some more friends

[kspappas]

Hi Kate!
First of all, welcome! You will find this to be a place where you WILL NOT be teased about your fear, and I am sad but not that surprised that you have been in the past. I too have had this phobia since the age of six (now 31), and hid it as best I could from everyone until I was about 23 and found this site and discovered that I wasn't a freak and wasn't alone. The amazing thing is that you are actively trying to fix the problem. I didn't do that until 2015 when I had a child and my fear got even worse. So great job! This phobia is so unique and different, and each person is lightly different, so the approach to therapy can vary depending on the case. EMDR has been found to be helpful in many cases where a specific traumatic event caused the phobia, but it is usually recommended to be combined with CBT and gradual exposure therapy. I would recommend reading the material on Anna Christie's website, emetophobiahelp.org, especially her story of overcoming the phobia and how she helps other emetophobes now as a therapist. She also has compiled a list of therapists in all different regions of the world, I'm sure there are some in NY.

The first therapy I ever tried was EMDR in 2015. It actually did help me temporarily, for about a year. But then my phobia gradually came back so I knew I had to try a different approach. Now I am seeing a psychologist who has successfully treated emetophobes before, and doing CBT and gradual exposure therapy. It is too soon to know if it is working, and it is HARD, but I know I have to keep trying. I have been at the pits of despair over this seemingly inescapable condition, but I KNOW that it is curable. So I have hope. And there is hope for you too! Feel free to PM me anytime!
-Kristin

[kateology]

Thank you so much! Your words definitely lifted my spirits, and I'm so grateful that I found this site. I wish you the best of luck! Emetophobia is a hungry, evil beast.. but giving up is not an option! xo